Survival of the sugarless

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” – Charles Darwin

What is survival to you? Is it being stranded on an island filming a reality show or is it getting through a weekend with your in-laws or is it surviving a bear attack (I wonder which one is worse: the in-laws or the bear)?

To me, survival is a relative term that I use rather carelessly.  Here are some life threatening situations where I’ve found myself in survivor mode and proclaimed the following: FUCK Phew, I can’t believe I...

...survived that phone call!

... survived rush hour traffic!

...survived the mob on the dance floor!

... survived the cold and flu season!

...survived two weeks without my BFF!

...survived the mosquito invasion!

...survived the date with that creepy guy!

...survived the snow storm (I’m Canadian, eh!)!

or what is most relevant in my life right now:

...surviving a day without sugar!

Believe it or not, it’s been been 10 days since I announced that I needed to lose my “vacation 15” (see previous blog post – "Vacation 15") and sadly, I’ve probably gained more weight since then with all of my cake-eating (I curse that English lad for bringing up the cake diet!) and lack of exercise (does showing up 50 minutes late for an hour-long fitness class count for anything?). So I have committed to losing my mind vacation 15 (please note that this is not a new year’s resolution...I don’t want to jinx myself!!!) and if I'm lucky some of the pounds I promised to lose in 2010, 2009, 2008 and 2007! Well, now that I'm going to be committed, I need a plan and we all know (don’t we?) that all good plans start with research! So I have spent the last week reviewing the plethora of weight loss books that I’ve purchased over the years (pathetic!) and my newly-purchased books (book addict!!!) that were either recommended by Oprah or Chapters (don't I have the best sources!?!). I thought it was important to dust off review the old books in addition to reading the new books because who knows what may trigger a motivational gene in my body.  Obviously the old books had a positive impact on me since I don’t have a pound to lose...NOT! Nonetheless, I thought I should revisit them just in case I missed something (it's highly possible that I thought, at the time, that the act of purchasing a weight loss book was enough to make me lose the weight so I didn't even read them!). So I pulled out all of the diet books that will change my life forever   be a complete waste of time  guide me on my weight loss journey. Here’s my research summary: 

“Weight loss is a billion dollar industry! How pathetic am I? Simply buying reading a book does not result in weight loss.”

Well, since I barely survived the research phase of my weight loss plan (if I’m going to be honest with myself and with you, the truth is I barely skimmed through those books...there were almost 20!), I’ve decided to seriously consider a quote that I found on Paulo Coehlo’s Facebook (he’s one of my absolute fave authors so if you haven't already, you have to read The Alchemist and/or By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept!):

‎"I decided to go on a diet; in 2 weeks I lost 14 days"

Now that's profound!  After serious consideration, I’ve decided to...wait for it...screw the diets!!! I’m going to be happy “just as I am”!!! Who am I kidding? I have a problem...my sugar addiction consumption is out of control and I have to find a way to kick it, stomp on it and annihilate it so I’ve decided that I’m going to simply stop eating sweets and chocolate for the next 30 days (doesn't that sound easy?). According to my extensive research, it takes 30 days to break a habit (or start one!) so here’s my plan: whenever I’m hungry for something sweet like chocolate or licorice (my top two indulgences!), I will juice. Yes, that’s right...I will juice. The simple act of juicing will keep my mind off of the sugar and the resulting juice will have a touch of sweetness from either an apple, a pear or an orange, thus fulfilling my need for something sweet, and will be much healthier than the alternative! Besides, I might get so sick of cleaning the damn juicer that I will simply no longer think about sweets (or juicing!) between meals (is this madness, mind over matter or "adaptable to change"?). Of course, I will continue to eat healthy meals (I was already a healthy eater so no, I'm not a complete failure!) minus the intake of sweets before, between, after and instead of during those healthy meals!  Hopefully this will rid my body of the sugar cravings and possibly result in weight loss!!! I’ll also try (no promises!) to get back into yoga-ing and/or walking on a daily basis (even if it’s just for 20 minutes).

So yesterday was officially my first day on a “diet” and I’m proud to say that I have survived day 1 (and I'm almost through day 2!) of being sugarless...WOOHOO!!! Adding to that success, I walked for approximately 40 minutes today so that was pretty respectable but yesterday I was too cranky  full of excuses busy to walk.

Realistically though, I can’t help but think...how am I supposed to survive dieting when I’m perimenopausal and have an under active thyroid? Well, I guess that’s a blog post for another day! Actually, it could be a blog post about how to survive if you’re mother, your daughter, your sister, your friend or your colleague is perimenopausal, has an under-active thryroid and is suffering from sugar withdrawal :)