I QUIT

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." 
                      ~ Winston Churchill 

Yes, I quit. I quit Tinder. And it's probably not what you think.

Day 19: January 12, 2020

After posting "Bots and scammers, oh my!", I jumped right back into the Tinder game and sent Blue Jay a message.

Go Tracey, Go Tracey, Go Tracey 💃

Tinder metrics: 9 matches; 2 messages; 2 of interest (Blue Jay and Local Boy 3.0)

Oh wait, there's a new update on my Tinder metrics (yes, I know, that was very fast!): 8 matches, 1 message

Blue Jay has already disappeared.

I don’t get it.

Why swipe right if you’re just going to disappear before we even chat?

Really irks me. Tinder is obviously not the right platform for me.

Just annoying.

No F-bombs though.

Just numb.

Breathe.

This is stupid.

Thankfully, my bubble of annoyance popped with a laugh. It's really not that funny, it's kinda really sad. But made me chuckle.

A new man just liked my profile and his photos were of...wait for it...Juan Pablo from The Bachelor with his daughter.

Taken directly from Juan Pablo's Instagram profile. Can you believe it?!?

Come on buddy, why can’t you just be you?

Update: 8 matches; 1 message; 0 interest

Added two new matches:

• 3000 - he's 3,000 kms away (why swipe right, right?) so I'm curious to know where he lives
• Buff - he only has one pic and he's wearing sunglasses but he looks like a cutie and it appears we went to the same college.  

Update: 10 matches; 1 message; 1 interest - curious to know where 3000 lives

Forget it, decided to unmatch one.

Came close to unmatching them all and shutting ‘er down

9 matches; 1 message (still waiting to hear from Local Boy 3.0); 1 interest

Tinder is so weird. I just don’t get it.

When I swipe right on someone, it means I’m interested in chatting with them. But once there’s a match, it’s rare that the man will start the conversation. And when I start the conversation, it’s radio silence.

What is the point of all this?

People enjoy swiping?!? The thrill of the swipe?!?

Sounds dirty, I know. But really?

Why are people swiping if they don’t want to chat with you???

Maybe it's true - Tinder is just for hook-ups?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m so frustrated.

I'm hiding it well, right? 😝

12 days to go

I started the torture experiment on the 25th so the experiment will end on the 24th.

Oh what will I do with all the free time, space and energy that’s been filled with all things Tinder?!?

Day 20: January 13, 2020

Happy birthday, Dad 💖💖💖

After celebrating Dad's birthday, I went home and opened Tinder.

I know, I know, why would I want to ruin such an amazing day?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 more matches:

• Blue Eyes - he only had one pic and no write-up but those blue eyes were stunning and he’s only 14 kms away so I'm curious about him. 
• Workout Boy -  I’m pretty sure I matched with him before but he’s a cutie so why not - I feel like I have nothing to lose, right?!?

11 matches; 2 messages; 0 interest

Oh yes, I remember why I opened Tinder: Buff sent me a message shortly after I got home

I matched with him yesterday.

Only one pic and no write up, and in his pic he’s wearing sunglasses. Come on, Buff! No clue why I swiped right. Oh yeah, he appears to be a cutie and we went to the same college.

But it's possible I'm now in a state of Tinder delirium. It’s a thing, right? Well let’s see what he has to say.

Still nothing from Local Boy 3.0 (argh!)

Oh wait Blue Eyes just sent me a message too. Just minutes after I swiped right.

You know what that means?

He’s a bot! (that was one of the tips I gathered from all my research 😝)

Turns out Blue Eyes lives 400kms away. He's here for work and looking for a bootie call. Byyyyyyyyeeeee. Unmatch.

Down to 10 matches; 2 messages; 1 interest (Buff)

Buff and I chatted for 1.5 hrs. He appears to be sweet and funny. And yes, of course I'm skeptical! When we said goodnight, we said we'd meet back here tomorrow night 😁

Oh and after answering one of my questions, he said "I know that probably sounds corny".

If only he knew...

I'm looking for corny 😉

Day 21: January 14, 2020

Buff sent me a message at 9pm. Around the same time we started chatting last night 😊

We chatted until 10:05pm. He's so sweet and so funny. Could he really be real? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Day 22: January 15, 2020

WOWZA!!! Busy Tinder Day.

130 likes while I was at work. Men must have been on the prowl today! Swiped left on all of them.

Yes, I'm feeling empowered 🤣

When I was chatting with Cheesy tonight, she helped me realize that I had an increase in likes today (lately I've had approximately 20 per day) because I was at work in Ottawa. Not at home. So the distance preference that men selected in Ottawa resulted in me popping into their Tinder collection.

I sent Buff a good morning message then he sent me a good afternoon message.

It's okay if you want to barf. It's so cute, it makes me want to barf too 😝

I was up at 4:30am so went to bed early without chatting with Buff. Yes, I was sad. I know, I know, you want to barf again.

Around 9:30pm, I heard a ping and it was Buff. He sent me a message saying he just got in and was saying goodnight.

Settle down, Little Donkey, Settle Down. 😍

Day 23: January 16, 2020

Unmatched 5 including Local Boy 3.0

5 matches; 1 message (Buff)

Omg, omg, omg, I think Buff is trying to ask me out.

Butterflies.

I think we’re both dorks and have no clue what we’re doing.

Yup, I have a date Saturday night after I hang out with Cheesy.

I'm so nervous. Thankfully Cheesy will be there to calm me down before heading out on my date.

He had me cracking up. He's so funny and so sweet and so kind.

OMG, I'm fucked.

That'll do, Little Donkey, that'll do.

I know you want to know more about Buff but I have to tell you who liked my profile today...wait for it...Blue Jay! He's liked my profile three times now with zero contact. Duh! First time I swiped right, no messages so unmatched during my "fuck this bullshit tirade" and unmatched everyone.  Second time I swiped right, I sent him a message then he unmatched me. That just happened this week!!! Now he has swiped right again. Ugh! I’m going to swipe right again but only to see if he says something this time.

Because I’m taken already, remember?!! 😉

Blue Jay update: he unmatched me shortly after I swiped right. 😣

No words.

Day 24: January 17, 2020

No chats with Buff 😢 but it was expected.

Day 25: January 18, 2020

It's date with Buff day 😊😊😊

But Mother Nature has other plans 😭

Winter storm warning so we have postponed until further weather notice.

Instead, we chatted for three hours tonight. Best. Chats. Ever. 💝

And yes, I know I'm getting ahead of myself here but I really like him while also being optimistically cautious that once we meet, it may not be a match. If I can't believe in the possibility, why am I doing this experiment?!? So I'm enthusiastically hopeful about Buff 😍

Day 26: January 19, 2020

It's date with Buff day 🤭🤭🤭

We are meeting at a restaurant for dinner.

Yes, I'm nervous.

Yes, I feel like I'm going to barf.

Yes, I have butterflies.

Yes, I'm optimistic.

Yes, I'm thrilled to know he exists. Regardless, the physical form.

This week, Buff made me smile, he made me laugh, he made me think and he allowed me to believe in the possibilities of love again.

So yes, I quit.

Regardless of the outcome of tonight's date, I’m quitting Tinder.

I'm quitting early and ending on a happy note.

I'm shocked I made it this far 😝

No need to continue with the misadventures of Tinder. I've collected all the data I need. Experiment is officially closed.

[the crowd cheers]

No matter what happens with Buff, I’m so happy with this feeling: open to dating again; open to the possibilities; open to love.

Yes, I've experienced many Tinder fails but I honestly consider this experiment to be a success 🏆

I have learned a lot about online dating over the last few weeks.

I've also learned a lot about men.

About humanity.

About myself (most importantly!).

There's no doubt a blog post in our future about lessons learned on Tinder.

For now, it's time to shut this experiment down and get ready for my date 😊🤮

I started this horrible experiment feeling hopeful and enthusiastic.

Then the feelings shifted slightly.

I was frustrated.
I was angry.
I was sad.
I was fucking frustrated.
I was fucking pissed.
I was scared.
I was hopeless.
I was tired.
I was questioning who I am.
Who. I. Am. Really?
I was aware.
I was hopeful.
I was enthusiastic.
I was frustrated.
I was excited.
I am happy.
I am hopeful and enthusiastic.

So no, I can't say I've found love on Tinder, but I feel confident in saying I have found something even better because I have come face-to-face with myself. Oh and the things I've seen 😉

In the process, I also found a kind, funny, smart and handsome man. Possibly? 😉

I'm not in any hurry. I've waited this long 💓

And all good experiments (and blogs!) should end with a Barbra Streisand sing-along!

You're welcome 😆

Finally Found Someone...on Tinder 😉

Bots and scammers, oh my!

“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”  ~ George Horne

I've been feeling under the weather* for the last few days so I have not been active on Tinder but lucky for you I’ve got lots to share from earlier in the week. Enjoy! 😎

*a nautical term from the days of old sailing ships is now used as an idiom for not feeling well. Any sailor who was feeling ill would be sent below deck to protect him from the weather. Being below deck, the sailor would literally be under the weather. And yes, this is an educational blog. You're welcome 😉

Day 12: January 5, 2020

After I posted Sexy Fun, I swiped right on two profiles.

I’m excited about my newest right swipe: Local Boy 3.0 - lives in the same town as me and he took the time to include a write-up on his profile. Oh and he’s a cutie 😍

Since my new rule is message him when I’m interested and excited, I sent him a message.

And I immediately regretted doing it.

No, I haven’t yet discovered any helpful learning opportunities for Tinder conversations.

Zero skills gained.

Embarrassingly, here’s the message I sent:

Super cute or super creepy?

What was I thinking?!? That's creepy AF 😲

Are you really only 3 kms away? This is why I should not be sending the first Tinder message!!!

I was just so excited about all the threes:

• He’s Local Boy 3.0 
• Tinder tells me he’s 3 kms away
• He has 3 letters in his name

And did I mention he’s a cutie and his profile is adorbs?

So yes, I’m excited and I think I blew it with my creepy ass message.

How will I ever fall asleep now?!? 😣

Day 13: January 6, 2020

One new match: Pink Moose (he had a pink moose on his t-shirt in one of his pics)

He’s a cutie but no write-up on his profile. WHY?!? And yes, I'm breaking the rules, again!

So I’m back to 27 matches (tetration of 3!)

And still no word from Local Boy 3.0

I scared him.

Man with Sunglasses and Dog keeps messaging me. He wants to go on a date. Since I have no clue what he looks like (remember how I described him in Sexy Fun?), would it be okay if I asked him for a pic? No, not that kind of pic 🍆 🤣

Anyways, it doesn't really matter because our conversations have been very dull. I don't really feel interested.

Eek! Pink Moose just messaged me. And it's a cutesie first message 😆

Day 13 might just be my lucky day 😉 (or not!)

Yes, I'm learning the not so subtle art of foreshadowing 😨😂

Day 14: January 7, 2020

I had the best conversation with Pink Moose last night and again tonight 😍

Plot twist: I almost fell in love with a scammer. Maybe even a bot.



Well that’s just pathetic.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Always trust your gut.

Okay, okay, you're probably wondering what happened.

Last night, Pink Moose and I chatted for about an hour and tonight for another hour. I didn't think I had the capacity to chat for that long but turns out I do 💃

At one point, the conversation turned bizarre and we suddenly went from discussing him cooking me a vegan meal to him wanting to take the conversation off Tinder because there were people on Tinder he was trying to avoid and because Tinder wasn't private.

WARNING! WARNING!

The warning bells were ringing in my head.

Just being dramatic? I think not! 😖

When I pressed him for information about this bizarre twist in the conversation, the chat page just disappeared and he vanished. He either unmatched me or blocked me. Quickly!

And no, this wasn't the first warning sign. There were many red flags!

🚩 He gave me his first and last name, his occupation and where he lives very early on in the conversation. Of course, I googled him right away and NOTHING.
🚩 Since he said he was a freelance structural engineer, I searched the provincial websites with the listings of legit engineers and NOTHING.
🚩 Sherlock Holmes I also asked him what it means to be a freelance structural engineer and I got a lame ass explanation - it's as if he didn't really know.
🚩 He appeared to be telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. And it appears I'm a sucker for it 🤮 And yes, that's a barf emoji!
🚩 Sometimes his answers didn't really make sense but I ignored it and moved on.

LAME NOTE: I often told myself "he's from Quebec so maybe English is his second language" as an excuse for many red flags.

Here’s the conversation shortly before he unmatched or blocked me (and this was after he had already told me there were freaks on Tinder and people he was trying to avoid):

I captured the screenshot so I could get help from an expert in real time. Not helpful! 😝

Maybe it's not a huge red flag.

Or maybe it was the accumulation of red flags that had me thinking this was a HUGE red flag.

To some (and she shall remain nameless!), he was simply trying to get my phone number.

I don’t know. Seems like “can I have your number?” would have been much easier 😝

It all happened so quickly.

And yes, I realize my "Should I be concerned?" response was not ideal.

Sadly, my follow-up message was even worse: "You're kinda freaking me out right now"

Okay, maybe he got triggered by it and left. And obviously I was triggered too.

So what did I do following Pink Moose's disappearance act?

I immediately googled Tinder scams. Yup, that was my gut feeling. And geez, was that a mistake 😒

Yikes!

Bots and scammers, oh my!

And this is exactly how scammers get you.

Sob story about needing to delete the app.

Hey buddy, if you don’t want to receive messages from anyone on Tinder, just unmatch them or block them. Easy peasy. You don’t have to delete the app to avoid anyone.

And if this was his modus operandi for getting my phone number as she-who-will-remain-nameless suggested?

Hey buddy, if you want my phone number, just ask me for it!

Very suspicious!

As soon as I pressed him, he disappeared. And so quickly! Before I could report him? How convenient!

Okay, I probably would not have reported him. But I've since learned enough to know I should have probably reported him. There were enough red flags. Unfortunately, you can't report someone after they've unmatched you or blocked you. When you report someone, Tinder investigates to determine if others have had similar experiences with the person you reported. If yes, the profile would be removed. Thus saving others from similar experiences.

Gosh, I was upset.

It all happened so quickly.

And reading about all the bots and scammers, oh my! 😟

It was overwhelming. Oh Tinder, what have I gotten myself into?!? 😲

But really, I should have known it was too good to be true – he answered many of my questions PERFECTLY and EXACTLY as I imagined my match would answer the questions. Duh! 😕

Thankfully, only two hours of my life were spent on Pink Moose.

I've learned that some men and women discover scams after weeks, months, years of chatting or sadly after being blackmailed or having their identify stolen or even more shockingly, after sending them money 😱😨

It appears to be a sad, sad world out there in Tinderland ☹

Day 15: January 8, 2020

Well that really shook me.

Couldn’t fall asleep last night.

Read too maybe damn articles and stories about Tinder scams - people who were chatting with scammers or bots or catfish.

Made me sad.

This experiment sucks.

I’m too fucking sensitive for this shit.

I’m too fucking naive for this shit.

I’m too fucking pissed for this shit.

I’ve cleared out my matches. Went from 26 to 7.

If you don’t have a write-up on your profile or we matched over a week ago with zero communications. GONE.

Cleared my messages. Went from 7 to 3.

If we’ve never had a real conversation. GONE.

If I’m not really into you. GONE.

Debating if The Veg and Mother Earth News should go too.

Mother Earth News. You ghosted me but you didn’t unmatch me?!? GONE.

That leaves Local Boy 3.0, Puppies/Kittens and The Veg in my messages. It means a conversation was started. No response from Local Boy 3.0 or Puppies/Kittens yet.

How long do I wait?!?

I also have matches that were made less than 1 week ago. How long should we wait to say hi or start chatting?!?

Until the end of the day.

Nah, no need to wait.

The Veg. We haven’t chatted since Christmas. Talked about meeting up on Jan 3. No follow-up conversations. GONE.

Puppies/Kittens. You’ve had a few days to respond to my message but you didn’t. if you’re not interested in responding then why the fuck did you swipe right on my profile?!? GONE.

Current count: 5 matches and 1 message (Local Boy 3.0)

I feel bad for any man that says hi now because if I was skeptical before, what will I be now?!?

Tinder is not a great place to build trust.

Which makes me feel like it’s not a great place to find a match.

Which makes me want to delete the app and shut down the experiment.

BUT. I. AM. COMMITTED.

Albeit not so hopeful or enthusiastic.

Tomorrow’s a new day.

Welcome to Tinder. Ugh!

Day 19: January 12, 2020

Yes, I realize now that I overreacted on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Shocking, I know! 😝

I have no clue what happened with Pink Moose.

Was Pink Moose a bot? Embarrasingly yes. Possibly.

Was Pink Moose a scammer? Probably. Possibly.

Was Pink Moose a man who simply no longer wanted to chat with me? Unlikely. Probably. Possibly.

I was just surprised at the sudden shift in conversation. The strangeness of the conversation. The disappearance of the chat. Pink Moose vanishing in a split second.

So no, I don’t love how I reacted to what happened on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.

The truth is that I immediately thought I had done something wrong.

Sure, I only thought I had done something wrong for a brief moment, but still, I went there.

I immediately blamed myself.

What the fuck?!?

Anyways, we'll never know if Pink Moose was a bot, a scammer or just no longer interested in chatting with me. And that's okay.

Thank you, Pink Moose, for allowing me to see a part of me that still needs some healing. We all have parts of us that need some healing, some loving, some gentleness, some kindness. And in a brief moment, I witnessed that part of me and for that I’m grateful 😊

“Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.” ~ Iain S. Thomas 

So now I need to just let.it.go.

And yes, writing about it helps so thanks for listening 😅

And yes, a musical intermission helps too! 😉

Oh, did you think it was going to be that other song?

Okay, okay, I know you’re disappointed.

Oh yeah, that was just the shift we needed, right?! 🙃 ❄️

But really, if you haven’t listened to James Bay’s Chaos and the Calm album, you should!

Okay, I digress! 💦

So after all that kerfuffle, I woke up Wednesday morning not feeling great physically.

Vulnerability hangover? Healing crisis? Just a cold?

But not feeling well since Wednesday means I’ve been MIA on Tinder.

Gift from the universe?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Surprisingly, there are still lots of bots scammers catfish men out there still swiping right on my profile.

Unfortunately, I can’t help but wonder how many are bots or scammers or catfish. Ugh!

And I'm now starting to notice repeats - I either swiped left on their profile or unmatched them already and now they are swiping right on my profile again.

Well, you'll be thrilled to know that I reluctantly swiped right on four profiles this morning and swiped left on the others. #sorrynotsorry

Okay, I feel kinda sorry for the left swipes but knowing they don't know about the rejection makes me feel better.

It’s tough being an empath on Tinder 😭

Current count: 9 matches and 1 message (still no word from Local Boy 3.0)

I've decided to add a new metric - current profiles that I'm somewhat excited about: Local Boy 3.0 and (newbie) Blue Jay

Yes, I’m really skeptical and wonder why I’m still doing this.

Oh yeah, I’m stubborn AF.

I committed to one month.

And you just never know when, how or where you will meet someone special. 💖

Regardless, I’m happy with or without a Tinder date and will remain open to the possibilities 😊

NOTE TO SELF 
Moving forward, must remember:
1. Don’t take things personal
2. Lighten up
3. Go with the flow
4. Have fun

So yes, I obviously need to bring the fun and excitement back to Tinder. Any ideas?!?

Well, I definitely need a pep talk 😊

This is one of my fave videos so our homework assignment for today is: (yes, that means you and me!)

• Watch this video (it's only 3 minutes, peeps!)
• Smile
• Remember who you are 💗

Have a wonderful week, beautiful peeps 😊😊😊

Please remember to sprinkle love, light, peace and kindness everywhere you go. Mother Earth and her inhabitants need us. 💓💓💓

Sexy Fun

“You look like you could be sexy fun” ~ The American

What the fuck does that mean?!? (Sorry for “F” bombing, Dad!)

How does one come to that conclusion?!? 

Well, congrats The American because you’ve got me stumped!

Remember The American? I mentioned him in my Ghosted and I’m looking for corny posts. We had been having some fun banter on Tinder Saturday night. I learned that he lives over two hours away so wasn’t feeling like it was a match based on distance but he’s a cutie in his photos and he seemed fun while chatting.

Who knew it would lead to “sexy fun”?!? Yeah, yeah I know you probably did! 😆

And yes, my first thought was “unmatch” immediately.

Would that be considered ghosting?

It made me realize how easy it is to leave a conversation without giving the other person a heads up or saying goodbye. I’m now realizing that’s not ghosting. As a result, I need to refine by definition of ghosting so it’s limited to disappearances after meeting in person 👻

I will “unmatch” The American but first, I need to investigate how one determines that someone has the appearance of being sexy fun. Aren't you curious?

My initial theory: In most of my photos, my hair is down. Does that make me look sexy fun? Does that mean my bun doesn’t look like I’m sexy fun? Isn’t sexy fun in your heart and soul, not your physical appearance? Well that wasn't helpful.

It simply reinforces to me that bookstores and meet-cutes are the way to go! Where brains, bodies and hearts collide 👧🏻 💃🏻 ❤️

I don’t think someone in the bookstore would come up to me and say “hey, you look like you could be sexy fun!” but on Tinder, it seems to be the primary focus. So yes, I still believe in its possibilities but realize it’s a needle in a haystack situation. I’ve got three more weeks to find that needle on Tinder. If there's even a needle to be found!

Maybe saying I look like I could be sexy fun is just innocent flirting.

I’ll admit I’m a horrible flirter. I think I have a degree of charm (got that from my charming father!) that would probably translate awkwardly to flirting. And when I say awkward, I mean awkward as fuck AF. I just have no skills. I’ve watched BFF, master flirter, make men melt simply by smiling or walking.

So there’s physical flirting which I just established is scary as fuck but maybe Tinder requires a different kind of flirting - flirting with words, not sparkly smiles. Am I on to something?!?

And no, I don’t mean sex texting sexting! That would be utterly awkward. Hmmm...I think I might have an idea.

I'm going to attempt to master online flirting à la Rory Gilmore! Remember when she wanted to learn how to sext with Logan?

Would "our hands grope frantically for the burning flesh" work as an opening line? I can definitely relate to Rory! I think I'm going to puke 😣

Mastering online flirting might help me feel comfortable sending the first message to my matches. No more awkward smiley face emojis or simple “hello, how are you?” messages. I’m going to step up my game and learn the art of Tinder conversations.

So where should I begin?

Google “art of Tinder conversations”?

Nope.

Google “how to flirt online”?

Oh geez, hell no.

YouTube search “how to flirt on Tinder”

BINGO!

I may need a day or two or a month to get through these videos. Why can't there just be a book?!? 🤓

The first video is “Guys on Tinder teach me how to flirt”. This video has had 19,000 views and the YouTuber looks younger than my daughter. Ugh!

This might be the most painful learning I've ever had to do.

And it might take me a while so for now, let’s get back to my Tinder update.

Day 12: January 5, 2020

Received the sexy fun message from The American and responded for research purposes. And yes, it took me a few hours to respond. I needed to get the follow-up question just right. Integrity of research!

 As you can see, his response was extremely unhelpful.

Do I persist with research? Or do I unmatch?

UNMATCH!

Bye, bye The American. I didn’t even say bye or explain why I was leaving. Oh the cruel world of Tinder and I just contributed to it but really, I look like I could be sexy fun?!? Just sayin' 😝

With one click of “Unmatch”, he just disappeared. Poof. Gone. And I disappeared from his Tinder app too.

Thank you, next! 😉

So I've yet to tell you about the first Tinder hopeful who messaged me on Christmas Day – the day I joined Tinder. And there's a reason for that! Let’s call him Heart guy because his first message was simply a heart. I didn’t respond because it seemed bizarre and it was my first Tinder message.

Shouldn’t there be more to a first message?

Well, it's 11 days later and he has sent me another message today and this time it was an a-okay emoji 👌🏻 so with my new rules of messaging when I’m interested, I responded with "hello, how are you?"

Titillating, I know!

Now can you see why I need help conversing on Tinder?!?

But least I used words instead of emojis! 😝

Heart guy looks like a cutie and he has pics of him and his dog. He’s got great pics actually but no write-up on his profile. What’s up with that?!? So I know nothing about him except he has a dog. Well actually, it may not even be his dog 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shortly after sending Heart guy a message, I received a message from Man With Sunglasses and Dog. He only has one pic and he’s petting a dog. He’s not looking at the camera and he has sunglasses on so clearly I have no clue what he looks like but he’s playing with a dog and he does have a write-up. This is obviously one of the profiles I swiped right on last night. Remember, I was being generous 🤣

I wonder if men use the same first line with all women?

Well, I appreciate the courage it takes to send the first message.

I did respond and we've been chatting back and forth. Sort of superficial at this stage (why am I expecting more from Tinder?!?) but he did say he wanted to take me out so there might be a date in the near future 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m now down to 24 matches (still a factor of 3!).

I have 6 matches with messages (The Veg, Mother Earth News, Local Boy 1.0, Puppies/Kittens, Heart and Man with Sunglasses and Dog) and I’m actively chatting with 2 of them (Heart and Man with Sunglasses and Dog). I haven’t heard from Puppies/Kittens guy yet. This was the first time I sent the first message to a match but nothing in return yet 😔

I’ve had 10 likes today and 0 right swipes.

Tinder activity has definitely slowed down. I guess I'm no longer the fresh avocado on Tinder!

Maybe that means I can focus on existing matches instead of swiping right on new profiles. Yes, I need to focus 😋

As the weekend comes to an end, I’m reflecting on the joy, the awe, the wonder and the gratitude blooging blogging has filled me with this week. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement, and for your willingness to come on this journey with me. I 💓 you!!!

Yesterday, BFF asked me if I had read any of Christine Northrup's books. I responded that yes, I had used Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom as a reference book when I was first going through peri-menopause. Of course, I saw this as a nudge from the universe so I pulled the book from my shelf and opened it. The page had a quote from my fave poet:

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiousity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” ~ e.e. cummings

Then I found this quote on another page:

“The positive thing about writing is that you connect with yourself in the deepest way, and that’s heaven. You get a chance to know who you are, to know what you think. You begin to have a relationship with your mind.” ~ Natalie Goldberg

What are the chances that I would serendipitously discover two quotes that perfectly express how I feel about writing this blog?!? So thank you all for reading, for encouraging, for inspiring and for indulging me in my love of creative writing 💖

It's my first week back at work after the holidays so I’ll likely only be back next weekend with an update on my misadventures of online dating. Don't miss me too much! 😉😧 I’ll hopefully have something fun and exciting to share. Wish me luck 🍀

And remember, you are perfect just as you are ❤️ Have a wonderful week!!! 😘

I’m looking for corny

"I like corny. I'm looking for corny." ~ Iris

Oh what a memorable scene from The Holiday! Remember that one? I know BFF will remember because it’s our fave holiday movie 💜

Curious to know how Tinder experiment is going? Don't get too excited 😩

Day 10: January 3, 2020

It’s 5am and yes, I’m swiping. Pathetic!

Tinder activity seems to be slowing down now. Maybe I'm no longer fresh avocado on the app?!?

I have 35 profiles in my Likes tab (men who swiped right on my profile). I had already looked at 16 of them and decided I would likely swipe right on them at some point. Now I’ve decided to dwindle those 16 down to 11 and swipe left on all the new additions in my Likes tab except for 1 so that leaves me with 12 hopefuls. Should I swipe right on any of them now?

Well, I decided to swipe right on 4 so that means 4 new matches. And yes, now I wait 😖

While I wait, here’s a breakdown of the new right swipes:

• The American - the cutie with the nice pics I mentioned in Ghosted (broke the rules on this one!)
• The Bodybuilder - the one who mentioned cats, books and bowling in his profile! I also mentioned him in Ghosted 
• Local Boy 2.0 - he only has one pic and no write-up so not overly confident (and yes, breaking my rules again!) but he’s 11 kms away so I’m curious
• Smiley - he looks sweet and fun in his pics and in his write-up. Yes, he has a write-up (oh geez, am I starting to slip with my standards?!?).

I was going to attempt to keep the language "clean" in this post because my dad mentioned that I was swearing a lot in my blog. Sorry Dad, this next statement requires the "F" bomb 🤷🏻‍♀️

FUCK! I just realized something. Polish guy no longer appears in my messages. He has disappeared. This means he either unmatched me or he left Tinder. We’ve been chatting every day then poof. GONE. Yes, it stings a little. So I guess I won’t be meeting him anytime soon. Or maybe we’ll have a meet cute in a bookstore one day?!? Goodbye, Polish guy. The chatting was fun while it lasted 😏

Thankfully, Sarah and Cheesy helped me put it all into perspective.

Sarah said "That’s Tinder. It happens to everyone and everyone does it. I’ve been ghosted and I’ve ghosted too."

Oh great, now I’m dealing with family “ghosting” kharma. I’m doomed. 😳

Cheesy said "It’s an exercise in not taking things personally."

Oh boy, is it ever! Why am I taking this so personal? No one knows me on Tinder. No one knows my character. No one knows my values. No one knows my heart.

Maybe Mother Earth News guy and Polish guy met someone new and really wanted to focus on that person. That’s a good news story! So I’m happy for them. This is a cowardly simple way of letting me know they are not right for me. LET.IT.GO.

Well, this online dating thing is definitely a challenge but I’m committed to moving forward with grace and ease 💓

So remember how I swiped right on Bodybuilder and Local Boy 2.0 this morning? Well they’ve both disappeared from my Matches tab so poof two more gone before it even started. FUDGE! 😝

Enough with Tinder, I need to shift something right now. YOGA!!! 😊

Day 11: January 4, 2020

It’s the end of the day.

I haven’t chatted with a Tinder person in what seems like months. And yes, I miss Polish guy. How quickly we get attached! 😝

Strangely, I’m still matched with Mother Earth News guy (why didn’t he unmatch me?!?) and I received a notification that he added a new photo. And he looks so cute in it! There goes my theory that he met someone and fell in love last weekend and that’s why he ghosted me. He’s still on Tinder 😵

Tinder activity is definitely slowing down. I’ve maybe had 40 likes over the last 2 days.

I swiped right on 10 of them tonight and the rest went left. And I think I was being generous 😞

I can’t say anyone really excites me. So why am I swiping right then?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let me look again to see if there’s anyone I could send a message to in my Matches tab.  Yes, I’m rethinking the rules. If I’m interested, I should just send a message, right? If I swiped right but wasn't overly excited, I can wait for him to message me. But if there is someone that seems interesting, my new rule needs to be: JUST DO IT!!!

Back to Tinder...perusing, perusing, perusing...

Oh geez, I’m just realizing I broke my rule again of only swiping right on profiles with a write-up.  I must be getting desperate 😂

Just realized I swiped right on a man that’s 8,000 kms away so unmatched him. Make that 9 new matches tonight.

I now have a total of 27 matches in my Matches tab and I'm not chatting with any of them.

The Veg, Mother Earth News and Local Boy 1.0 are still in my Matches.

The other 24 matches have been silent (as have I!).

I can’t remember how many right swipes I’ve made but it’s way more than 27 so there have been many that either unmatched me along the way, disappeared from Tinder since I swiped right or I’ve unmatched them.

I’m feeling really good about a pool of 27 though - it’s a tetration of my lucky number 3! Maybe that's a magical sign 😻

For all the non-math dorks out there, a tetration is when you raise a number to the power of itself 🤓

That's a lot of threes...looks magical on the page. Yes, I love numbers. Yes, I'm a dork 😍

Okay, back to Tinder. I found one!

Puppies/Kittens guy looks like a cutie and he started his profile with “Do you like puppies and/or kittens? If so, we will get along”. Corny but cute. And I like corny. I'm looking for corny 😉

Anyways, I think I’m at the point where I don’t really want to get excited anymore. Kinda takes the fun out of it though because when you swipe right, you want to feel some level of excitement or else why do it?!?

So I’m going to send Puppies/Kittens guy a message. Wish me luck. Yes, I think I’m going to barf and pass out 🤮

Here I go...

UPDATE - January 4, 2020: 

You’ll be happy to know I sent Puppies/Kittens guy a message tonight. YAY ME!!!

And I got a message from The American! Some playful banter. BFF will appreciate this: he started the conversation with “heeeeelllllllloooooo” 😊

NOW IT'S TIME FOR BED SO TO BE CONTINUED....

Before I sign off, here’s some great advice from Neale Donald Walsch 💖

Love is not what you want, it is what you are.
It is very important to not get these two confused.
If you think that love is what you want,
you will go searching for it all over the place.
If you think love is what you are, you will go sharing it
all over the place. The second approach
will cause you to find what the searching will never reveal.

Yet you cannot give love in order to get it.
Doing that is as much as saying you do not now have it.
And that statement will, of course, be your reality.
No, you must give love because you have it to give.
In this will you experience your own possession of it.

Book cover from Susan Verde (author) and Peter H. Reynolds (illustrator) 

Ghosted

“I can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him” ~ Bridget Jones

According to Wikipedia, ghosting is breaking off a relationship by stopping all communication and contact with the partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate. The term originated in the mid-2000s.

Well that explains why I’ve never experienced this before. What happened to kindness and honesty? What happened to the good ol’ days when you said “Sorry, I’m just not that into you” and you moved on? We can’t be everything to everyone! It's only natural that I won't be into every man I meet and every man I meet won't be into me so it’s okay to be honest about it. We owe it to each other to be honest, right?

This experience made me think of the movie, He's Just Not That Into You. Remember this scene?

So yes, I left our first date feeling good about Mother Earth News guy, just as Gigi left her date with Conor feeling good. 😛 He was a cutie, he was tall, I liked the way he was dressed, he has a good job and a great hobby, he was kind, funny and interesting, and the conversation was easy and fun. Sure, the hug kinda sucked and maybe that should have been a sign. And maybe I would have discovered soon after that we weren't a good match (well, I kinda did when he ghosted me!) but geez, just tell me you’re not into me. That’s what I would have done.

To all future dates: I’m secure, compassionate and love myself enough to accept your honesty. If you’re not into me, just tell me. Don’t ghost me. Thanks 😊

Day 6: December 30

If I don’t hear from Mother Earth News guy by 3pm, I’m resuming my Tinder activity.

I have another 100+ likes to go through but now I’m scared.

Why hasn’t he texted?

Was it something I said?

I read through our Tinder messages and text messages. Yes, I'm pathetic!

The last text I sent was last night:

Awww Ella is such a cutie 😻 How could he not respond to this photo?

Maybe he thinks I’m a crazy cat lady?

Maybe he thinks only crazy, old ladies do puzzles with their cats? For the record, I was trying to do the puzzle on my own.

Maybe he thinks I’m boring?

Nah, it can’t be that! Cats and puzzles are dope 😎

Was it the way I looked when we met?

Were my clothes too colorful?

Maybe I looked fat?

Maybe it was the bun?

It must have been the bun 😫

Yup, self-doubt was creeping in. I’ve spent the last 10 years learning to love myself then six days into my Tinder experiment and two days without a text from a stranger and I’m going to throw it all away?

Who the fuck am I?

Why the fuck do I care so much?

Maybe because kindness, communications and honesty matter to me?

And if those aren’t important to him, why the fuck should Mother Earth News guy be important to me?

BREATHE.

REMEMBER.

Emotions are simply energy in motion.

STEP.AWAY.FROM.THE.PHONE.

GO.DO.YOGA.

Get those feelings, thoughts, emotions moving out of your body, mind, heart and soul 💓

Ahhhhhhh that felt good!

Back to being ZEN AS FUCK ⭐🙏

It’s now 2pm so let’s do this! Yes, I know I said I’d wait until 3pm but I’m zen as fuck so I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want to do! 🤣 I whipped through 100+ profiles and liked 4 of them so that’s 4 more matches which means we can now chat. And now I wait. Yes, I’m pathetic! I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I send the first message.

At 2:35pm, I received a message from The Local. His write-up spoke to me and yes, he’s a cutie in his pic. Only one pic though which is rare. Turns out he grew up in the same city as me and now lives 100kms away (within my range!). He said he just came back from visiting family in our hometown.  He was likely mere feet away from me. Kinda cool!

At 3:16pm, my phone pinged and I had a message from Polish guy. So I broke my Tinder “rule” with this one. If men can’t take the time to include a write-up about themselves in their profile, I’m swiping left but there was something about Polish guy’s eyes and his smile that made me swipe right. Yes, he’s hunky 😍

Right away, he seems to be a sweetie. I learn he’s originally from Poland and now lives very close to my office. He’s currently in the US visiting family. After chatting for a bit, he asks me for my phone number. I’m not sure why but I say no. I tell him it feels very personal to share my number with someone I don’t know. I would only share my number once we meet. Is that weird? I need to talk to Sarah and Cheesy about it because I’m not sure if I should or shouldn’t. Anyways, I asked that we continue to chat via Tinder. He’s so sweet and I’m actually looking forward to meeting him. It’s such a strange feeling not knowing if he’s actually who he says he is though, if those are his photos or if I’m being catfished.

Yes, in addition to ghosting, online dating now also includes catfishing. According to the Oxford Dictionary (and you know how much I love Oxford!), catfishing means to lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. How sad is that?!? I’ve already been ghosted so I sure do I hope I don’t get catfished too!

So it’s the end of the day on December 30th and I still haven’t heard from Mother Earth News, I haven’t heard from The Veg and I’ve chatted with two new hopefuls. What will tomorrow bring?

Lucky for you, it’s January 2nd so I can give you an update 😉

Day 7: December 31

• NYE 🥂
• Lots of Tinder activity today - another 100+ likes (where are all of these men coming from?!?) and 2 new matches.
• Chatted with Polish guy again today.
• No other conversations.
• I wonder if I still have a date on Friday?!?

Day 8: January 1, 2020

• Happy New Year! 🌟
• Wowza, there must be lots of men making 2020 Tinder resolutions because I’ve had 200+ likes on my profile today. I’m starting to wonder if the swipe lefts get recycled and can see my profile again. I haven’t been paying attention to the left swipes so maybe they’re coming back for more rejection? What I like about Tinder is that when you swipe left or someone swipes left on you, you have no idea you’ve been rejected. Thankfully! What you don't know can't hurt you 😝
• I’ve had a fun day with family and friends today so didn’t get a chance to swipe but I did chat a bit with Polish guy. I’m looking forward to meeting him when he’s back 😊

Day 9: January 2, 2020

Feeling the love from everyone who commented on my blog post. Thanks for your support and encouragement ❤️

I’m off today so I found some time to swipe through the 200+ men that swiped right on my profile.

I’m down to 16 men that I will likely swipe right on but I’ve decided to hold off for now.

Remember, once I swipe right, IT’S A MATCH! (because he's already swiped right on my profile)

No, I'm not putting Tinder activities on hold. I'm committed to this month-long experiment!

I think I need to rethink my rules though.

How silly is it that I have swiping rules?!? Shocking, I know! 😝

So far, I’ve been swiping left on Americans. Not that I don’t like Americans because I do! I just think having that kind of border between us would make it difficult. However, The American appeared in my list today and he looks like a cutie in his pics, the pics he chose are pretty cool (awesome photography!) and something peaked my interest in his profile. Is the border really an issue that I need to address at the swiping stage?  Things that make you go hmmm...

Wow I really enjoyed that dance break and I hope you did too! 😉

Then this video started to play and I just couldn't resist...could you?

Okay, I digress...can't resist a kick-ass dance break!

Where was I? Oh yes, The Bodybuilder. Yes, you read that correctly: The Bodybuilder! I’m definitely not the gym-going type nor do I have a bodybuilding body and I don’t find bodybuilding bodies attractive (we all have a type!). BUT he loves cats (adorbs!) and some of his pics (the non-bodybuilding pics!) were adorable (yes, there were cat pics!). And his write-up intrigued me: cats, books and bowling were all mentioned. How could I not swipe right on this one?!? 😝

So now I’m contemplating the right swipes.

Yes, it’s just a swipe.

I'm putting way too much thought into it now. Shocking, I know!

That's why I'm stepping away for a moment.

Maybe I’m just feeling a little swipe fatigue right now 🤷🏻‍♀️

Who knew there were so many men my age on Tinder? (notice I didn't say single men!)

And who said online dating was fun?

Maybe I just don't get it yet. And that's why I've committed to doing it for a month. And yes, I realize that only giving it a month isn't really fair either but it's a start!

I remain enthusiastic and hopeful. I just need a little break. And I'm only 9 days in 🤓

"Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we are so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is a supreme creative act." ~ Ram Dass 💖

P.S. Haven’t heard from The Veg and I haven’t made any attempts to contact him since the 25th so no date tomorrow and I'm obviously okay with it. What's meant to be will always find its way 💓

Tinder at 47

“I like you very much. Just as you are.” ~ Mark Darcy 💘

I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since I started my relationship with this blog and not surprisingly, like all of my romantic relationships, it didn’t last. Sad, I know. I'm hopeful that the relationship can be salvaged! What I loved about my blog is that it gave me a platform for being creative, vulnerable and courageous, and having fun! I also think there's something really special about sharing your thoughts, experiences, feelings and silliness with others while doing something you enjoy (I love to write!) because it may just give someone else the courage and inspiration to do the same 🧡

Do you remember who inspired my blog? Bridget Jones’s Diary! December 28, 2010 was the day I fell in love with...wait for it...blooging blogging! 😉 Shockingly, I have published 109 posts to this magnum opus blog between December 28, 2010 and October 19, 2012. Then a random one appeared in 2014. Well, I’ve missed it! And I’ve missed you 😊

My new year’s resolution for 2020 is to rekindle my love of creative writing and get back to blooging blogging! I’m hoping creativity will be a big theme for me this year and this is the perfect start so thanks in advance for your support and encouragement 💓

“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world” ~ Brené Brown

Important reminder: I’m a dork so if you’re looking for something that will enlighten you, all this blog will do is lighten you up. Enjoy! 😄

 “Resolution #3: Find nice, sensible boyfriend to go out with and not form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts.” ~ Bridget Jones

After ending a 10-year relationship last year, one of my best friends (let’s call her Cheesy) decided to join Bumble and Tinder.  While she was in a relationship for 10 years, I was single for 10 years. Yes, I’ve been single for the last 10 years. Shocking, I know! And in case you’re wondering, X was my last boyfriend. Can you blame me for not wanting to be with another man ever again?!? Being single has been a positive experience for me. It has allowed me to focus on the most important relationship in my life – the relationship with myself! 💖 I have taken Reiki courses, learned Transcendental Meditation, completed my yoga teacher training, taken a Ho’oponopono course, I’ve been to meditation, yoga and leadership retreats, and the healing, growing and learning list goes on and on. Yes, I've been blessed with many opportunities. Most importantly, the opportunity to JUST BE!

Through it all, I found my truest love: SELF-LOVE.  Sure, some days I find it difficult to love myself unconditionally and I often find it easier to feel compassion for others rather than myself but what I’ve discovered over the last 10 years is that self-love does lead to happiness, peace, compassion, confidence and gratitude. I have learned to love myself   ~  JUST AS I AM ~ 💖 I’ve also learned that loving yourself means having the ability to send loving kindness to all - even those who piss you off 😉 Most importantly, sending out love and gratitude to Mother Earth and all living beings has been the greatest gift of self-love.  So yes, life has been quite wonderful the last 10 years and I'm very grateful for my life! Thanks for asking 😉


Okay, now back to Cheesy! So Cheesy joined Bumble and Tinder in November and I was truly in awe of her.  Sure my daughter, Sarah, is on Tinder but she’s 26! (Remember her? Yes, she’s 26 now and I’ll no doubt have a new blog post about her very soon!) To be honest, I wasn’t sure online dating apps were meant to be used by "old" people (you know, 40 somethings!). From the outside, it appeared very shallow and driven solely by physical appearance.  And for Cheesy to be so vulnerable? It was admirable and also very scary! But remember Eleanor’s words of wisdom?

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Yes, I still have dreams of meeting my perfect partner in a book store. Such an idyllic meet cute! You know, the kind Hallmark Christmas movies promote.  What I never considered is that with all my online book purchases, it makes that meet cute nearly impossible 😛


On December 22nd, I had a fun date planned with Cheesy and couldn’t wait to hear about her dating adventures. Before leaving, I opened Facebook and a heart appeared on my profile page. What the heck? I clicked it and I was asked to join Facebook Dating. I frantically calmly clicked NO and left the app ASAP then headed to Cheesy's. 


After our hike, Cheesy and I headed to her house for lunch and I eagerly listened to her dating tales. I mentioned the strange experience with Facebook Dating so we looked at her profile page but no heart appeared.  Cheesy and I thought it might be a sign (it doesn’t take much, I know!) so with her support and encouragement, I joined Facebook Dating right there in her bedroom, sitting on her bed. We selected three photos and went live with my profile (with pics only!).  Immediately, a man’s profile appeared on my page and the first man to appear was...wait for it...X’s brother! Can you believe it?!? Ugh! I wasn’t feeling very confident about this app so I immediately disabled my dating profile.  When I got home, I decided to prepare a dorky cutesy write-up about myself to go with the pics then launched again on Facebook Dating. For the next three days, I watched as men liked my profile but no one peaked my interest so I deleted my dating profile on Facebook and the heart disappeared from my profile page. She came, she looked, she left. It ended before it ever began...or did it?!?

On Christmas Day, while the fam was napping, I decided to join Tinder. Yes, I joined Tinder while sitting in my parents’ living room (Hi Mom and Dad!😅). I selected five photos and wrote my dorky profile then launched it into the Tindersphere. Yes, I was terrified! What if no one liked my profile? What if it somehow went public and I was ridiculed? Really, did it matter? Ego said yes! 😝 Then my soul said all was good and just allow.  What's meant to be will be! 

Before I continue, you should probably be educated on how Tinder works:

• Once profiles are launched, Tinderites (people on Tinder?) set their preferences for their perfect mate: 
• Maximum distance from you
• Women/Men/Everyone
• Age range
• Yes, those are the only criteria given for finding your soulmate!
• Tinder then provides you with a plethora of people who match your preferences. 
• One at a time, you scroll through the applicants candidates hopefuls. 
• You swipe left for those that don’t interest you. 
• You swipe right for those that do interest you. 
• When the person you swiped right on also swipes right on your profile, IT’S A MATCH - you get a notification that it's a match and that person ends up in your Matches list. 
• You can only send messages to people in your Matches list.  

Well, I decided to upgrade my account and paid $40 for the month (I'm committed to this Tinder experience for one month!) to get additional perks like seeing who liked my profile. That means as soon as I swipe right on any of the hopefuls who liked my profile, IT’S A MATCH (because he’s already swiped right on my profile). 

At approximately 4pm on Christmas day, I was launched into the Tindersphere then I put my phone down to hang with the fam. When I picked up my phone an hour later, I saw that my phone was blowing up with notifications. I had 100 likes in one hour! What?!? Has my profile been hacked? Has my phone been hacked? How could there possibly be 100+ single men within 120 kms of me between the ages of 39 and 55? And how could all of them have liked my profile??? I must have fucked screwed up somehow!  I opened my phone and was shocked to see all of these “older” men active on Tinder.  Later that night, I texted Sarah to let her know that I had joined Tinder. Merry Christmas, kiddo! 😊 I will share her reaction to this news in a future post but spoiler alert, it went something like this: What the fuck, Mom?!? 😉. I let her know that I had 100+ likes in an hour then I quickly had to correct my message because I discovered I now had over 200 likes on my profile (!!!).  I decided to take a bath, made a cup of tea then lay in bed to start swiping (sounds dirty, sorry!). I made my way through 200+ profiles swiping right or left (mostly left!) and I’m happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised by some of the hopefuls. Fingers crossed!

Since Bridget Jones inspired this blog almost 10 years ago, the rest of my blog post will be written à la Bridget Jones ❤️


Day 1: December 25, 2019

• Merry Christmas!🎄
• Joined Tinder!😍
• 200+ likes on my profile (WTF?!?) 
• Swiped right on 11 profiles (yes, out of 200+ so that's approximately 5%)
• Chatted with 8 Hopefuls: The Veg, Mother Earth News, Hugo Boss, Frenchie, Sexter, Hates Ex, Architect (???) and honorable mention goes to Chef because he said hi then I said hi and that was it
• Note to Reader: Reminder that you can only chat with someone who swiped right on your profile and you swiped right on their profile – IT’S A MATCH.
• The first to write was The Veg. Yes, he’s a vegetarian (it would be awesome to date a vegetarian or vegan!), he appeared to be a cutie in his photos and his profile made me chuckle so that was a nice bonus. We quickly set a date to meet-up on the following Friday (yes, that’s tomorrow!).  Wow, that was easy! 
• Then the next hopeful I received a message from really peaked my interest. To be honest, he had me at “Do you read Mother Earth News?”
• The following chats ended almost as quickly as they started:
• Hugo – after chatting for a little bit (it was an enjoyable chat at first!), he mentioned sex 
• Sexter - all he wanted was sex (appreciated the honesty!)
• Frenchie - such a cutie and loved our conversation (in French!) but he lives two hours away so I sent him a polite message letting him know that I thought he was cute and sweet (mignon!), and that I enjoyed our conversation but he lives too far. He said thanks and that he understood. Never has there been so much kindness and politeness on Tinder! 😊
• Hates Ex - he quickly started ranting about his ex-wife
• Architect - was a cutie but my gut told me he wasn’t who he said he was
• Chef - ended after "hi" + "hi" then nothing
• Note to Reader: when you don’t want to continue a conversation with someone, you can “unmatch” them so they disappear from your matches (and his) then the conversation disappears as if it never happened (from yours and his). 
• Additional Note to Reader: I’ve decided that I would let the Mr. Hopefuls message me first (only happens after we’ve matched, of course). Yes, this practice might change but for now, it feels more comfortable So out of 11 men I matched with, I chatted with 8 because those 8 sent me messages. 

Day 2: December 26, 2019

• WTF?!? In less than 24 hours, I’ve had over 500 likes on my profile. Again, I had no idea there were that many single men in my age range within 120 kms. No wonder I haven't met anyone IRL (in real life) because they're all on their phones swiping on Tinder! And sadly, I’ve now learned that not all men on Tinder are single. Ugh! Yes, I'm naive and yes, that’s a lot of men to navigate but I did it! Out of 500+ profiles, I liked a total of 16 men so that’s 16 matches. Yesterday I chatted with 8 of them and today I focused on 1 of them: Mother Earth News.
• I really enjoy chatting with him. He seems like a down to earth guy, he cares about the planet and he enjoys gardening (he has a full-time “normal” job + he’s a farmer). I’m intrigued! And yes, he’s a cutie and he’s tall 😊 At approximately 6pm, he asked me if I’d be free for coffee the next day. OMG my first date in 10 years was going to happen in less than 24 hours!!! I think I’m going to barf! I suggested my fave vegan café at 10am the next day. Then put all Tinder activity on hold, STAT! 
• Note to Reader: I haven’t heard from The Veg since yesterday so not sure if we’re still going on a date on Jan 3. 
• Additional Note to Reader: You should always have a “safety partner” when dating online. When you’re going to meet someone, it should probably be in a public place and you should let your safety partner know about your plans and who you’ll be meeting. Cheesy is my safety partner 😊

Day 3: December 27, 2019

• OMG, it’s date day! I have not been on a date in 10 years. I think I might throw up then pass out.
• I’ll probably breakout in an uncontrollable sweat and scare him off because how could someone possibly sweat that much?!? I’d be scared too.
• What to do with my hair: hair down or in a bun on top of my head??? I love my bun and feel most comfortable in a bun but I’m going on a date so should probably have my hair down. But if my hair is down, I will sweat! NEED. TO. AVOID. SWEATING. Bun it is then! Okay, I can feel your collective cringe! A bun on your first date in 10 years?!? I went with comfort over glam. #sorrynotsorry
• Cheesy sent me an encouraging text which helped me to breathe and relax a tiny bit. (thanks Cheesy!)
• I arrived at the café 30 mins early so I could relax with a cup of chamomile tea and a book before Mother Earth News arrived.  
• I’m happy to report that when he arrived, I was cool as a cucumber and didn’t sweat a drop!
• First impressions: he’s tall, he’s got a great smile, he’s a cutie and he’s well-dressed. Let’s hope the conversation goes well.
• And it did! 😊 He’s smart, interesting and funny. We exchanged phone numbers and off we went. He walked me to my car, we chatted a bit then he reached out for a hug. So anyone that knows me knows that I love hugs. I love to hug and be hugged. This hug didn’t give me any feels. But it’s the first hug so that shouldn't be a determining factor, right?!!
• He was headed to lunch with friends and I was headed back to work. 
• When I texted Cheesy to let her know how it went (we are safety partners, remember!), she asked me what’s next and I said I was going to wait and see. He would have to make the next move. Yes, I’m old school. I figured I’d have to wait the usual (is it still a standard?) three days before hearing from him but I would be patient and my Tinder activity would remain on hold for now.  
• A couple of hours later, I received a text from him 😊
• All Tinder activity remains on hold. 

Day 4: December 28, 2019

• Since all seemed well after our first date, I decided to send Mother Earth News guy a text since he would be hosting his family for holiday meal: Have fun with your family today! He responded thank you with a happy face.

Day 5: December 29, 2019

• Radio silence. Haven’t heard from Mother Earth News guy since the thank you text.
• All Tinder activity still remains on hold. 

Day 6: December 30, 2019

• I think I’ve been ghosted...