Supersized!

Excuse me?  How dare you?!?  No, this is not a blog post about my ass me!

Since December 28th, when I first started blogging, I've tried to avoid writing about anything in the news (this is a happy, happy, happy blog!) but I can't avoid it any longer...I just have to address the latest breaking news about...wait for it... Starbucks...SUPERSIZED!

(P.S. Have you seen the movie Superstar with Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell?  If you have, go back and re-read the last sentence and say the word "supersized" the same way Mary Katherine Gallagher says "superstar" in the movie...isn't that fun?  If you haven't seen the movie, you don't know what you're missing!)

So I don't go to McDonald’s but I understand that they have supersized fries and drinks. (Okay, Okay, I'm busted...I used to be addicted to McChickens but I'm much better now!)

And I've never gone to 7-Eleven but my understanding is that they have supersized with the Big Gulp which ranges from 945 mL to 1.9 L.

And I only go to Tim Horton’s for Sarah but my understanding is that their supersize is an extra large which is 590 mL.

But I do, however, go to Starbucks!

Yeah, I’ll admit it, I thought that ordering the venti soy chai latte made me look like a fat disgusting over-consuming pig (no offense to pigs!) but forget the venti because Starbucks has announced a new size...wait for it...the trenta!

What exactly does that mean? Well, let’s put it into perspective:

Tall – 354 mL
Average pop can – 355 mL
Grande – 473 mL
Venti – 591 mL
Trenta – 916 mL
Average capacity of adult human stomach – less than 1L!!!

Okay, so first of all, the new trenta size will only be available in the US (at least initially) and secondly, the supersize only applies to iced drinks! Has Starbucks ever considered putting less ice in their iced drinks? If there was less ice in the cup, we wouldn’t need a trenta-sized drink :P

I wonder what this means for those of us you on a calorie-restricted diet? How many calories are there in a venti soy chai latte versus a trenta soy chai latte? Oh well, I guess it doesn’t really matter since a) it’s not in Canada and b) it’s only applicable to iced drinks. So I guess I’m stuck with a measly venti-sized drink which in the grande grand scheme of things means I won't have to use almost 100% of my stomach capacity for a trenta-sized soy chai latte...ugh!

What's in a name?  Well, I'm sure Shakespeare would have been left utterly confused whilst trying to order a medium-sized drink at Starbucks (payback's a bitch!). So what’s up with the sizing at Starbucks? Well, here’s the part in my blog that we all love to refer to as annoying enlightening and educational moments brought to you by Tracey! So "trenta” follows the Starbucks tradition of using Italian words instead of regular sizes so tall is a small (wtf?), grande which means big is a medium (double wtf?) and venti which means 20 is a large. So what’s the trenta? It’s Italian for 30 and is now the supersized Starbucks drink.

Hmmmm....why does the word supersized “Italian” automatically send my mind to a dark but pleasant place where all I can picture is a naked strikingly handsome (did I mention strong, sexy, funny, compassionate, smart, caring, loving, kind...okay, I digress!) Italian man holding out a venti soy chai latte...to me :)

Since we’re on the subject of men, this might be a good opportunity to talk about a not-so-hot, not-so sexy, not-so-strong, not-so-handsome but definitely supersized in the waist man known as X (see blog post “To be or not be...Friends with X”). Unfortunately or rather fortunately, the outcome (our attempt at friendship) was not surprisingly dreadful! Last night he revealed a side to me that I know all too well and I’m not willing to compromise myself again. I had considered posting my text-versation with X from last night but what's the point of that (it reveals that he’s a complete ass) so I’ve decided not to go there. The good news is that it only took a week and a half for me to recognize the error of my ways. Goodbye X!!!

I may not be willing to go there but I am willing to go here....talking about something else besides my ass that is supersized in my life...the love and support I get from family and friends!!! After posting “To be or not to be...Friends with X”, the following comments were posted by some very wise people in my life:

“There are people in your life that come and go, some stay for friendship others for love. The key is to keep the people who mean the world to you in your life forever. Leave the past in the past, if he's not in your present he won't be in your future.”

"People do not change. Just remember how X made you feel. I am friends with some and not with others. I think you know which ones I'm talking about. BTW...I love you!"

Last night, I was so grateful to have my BFF there for me when the reality of my situation with X revealed itself (the truth is that people don’t change especially people who are drowning in their own misery!) so we snuggled in her bed and talked...until she started tucking the blankets tight around her body...almost as if she didn’t want something to escape from underneath the covers....oh no....could it be a supersized F.....