“I like you very much. Just as you are.” ~ Mark Darcy 💘
I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since I started my relationship with this blog and not surprisingly, like all of my romantic relationships, it didn’t last. Sad, I know. I'm hopeful that the relationship can be salvaged! What I loved about my blog is that it gave me a platform for being creative, vulnerable and courageous, and having fun! I also think there's something really special about sharing your thoughts, experiences, feelings and silliness with others while doing something you enjoy (I love to write!) because it may just give someone else the courage and inspiration to do the same 🧡
Do you remember who inspired my blog? Bridget Jones’s Diary! December 28, 2010 was the day I fell in love with...wait for it...
My new year’s resolution for 2020 is to rekindle my love of creative writing and get back to
“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world” ~ Brené Brown
Important reminder: I’m a dork so if you’re looking for something that will enlighten you, all this blog will do is lighten you up. Enjoy! 😄
“Resolution #3: Find nice, sensible boyfriend to go out with and not form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts.” ~ Bridget Jones
After ending a 10-year relationship last year, one of my best friends (let’s call her Cheesy) decided to join Bumble and Tinder. While she was in a relationship for 10 years, I was single for 10 years. Yes, I’ve been single for the last 10 years. Shocking, I know! And in case you’re wondering, X was my last boyfriend. Can you blame me for not wanting to be with another man ever again?!? Being single has been a positive experience for me. It has allowed me to focus on the most important relationship in my life – the relationship with myself! 💖 I have taken Reiki courses, learned Transcendental Meditation, completed my yoga teacher training, taken a Ho’oponopono course, I’ve been to meditation, yoga and leadership retreats, and the healing, growing and learning list goes on and on. Yes, I've been blessed with many opportunities. Most importantly, the opportunity to JUST BE!
Through it all, I found my truest love: SELF-LOVE. Sure, some days I find it difficult to love myself unconditionally and I often find it easier to feel compassion for others rather than myself but what I’ve discovered over the last 10 years is that self-love does lead to happiness, peace, compassion, confidence and gratitude. I have learned to love myself ~ JUST AS I AM ~ 💖 I’ve also learned that loving yourself means having the ability to send loving kindness to all - even those who piss you off 😉 Most importantly, sending out love and gratitude to Mother Earth and all living beings has been the greatest gift of self-love. So yes, life has been quite wonderful the last 10 years and I'm very grateful for my life! Thanks for asking 😉
Okay, now back to Cheesy! So Cheesy joined Bumble and Tinder in November and I was truly in awe of her. Sure my daughter, Sarah, is on Tinder but she’s 26! (Remember her? Yes, she’s 26 now and I’ll no doubt have a new blog post about her very soon!) To be honest, I wasn’t sure online dating apps were meant to be used by "old" people (you know, 40 somethings!). From the outside, it appeared very shallow and driven solely by physical appearance. And for Cheesy to be so vulnerable? It was admirable and also very scary! But remember Eleanor’s words of wisdom?
"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes, I still have dreams of meeting my perfect partner in a book store. Such an idyllic meet cute! You know, the kind Hallmark Christmas movies promote. What I never considered is that with all my online book purchases, it makes that meet cute nearly impossible 😛
On December 22nd, I had a fun date planned with Cheesy and couldn’t wait to hear about her dating adventures. Before leaving, I opened Facebook and a heart appeared on my profile page. What the heck? I clicked it and I was asked to join Facebook Dating. I
After our hike, Cheesy and I headed to her house for lunch and I eagerly listened to her dating tales. I mentioned the strange experience with Facebook Dating so we looked at her profile page but no heart appeared. Cheesy and I thought it might be a sign (it doesn’t take much, I know!) so with her support and encouragement, I joined Facebook Dating right there in her bedroom, sitting on her bed. We selected three photos and went live with my profile (with pics only!). Immediately, a man’s profile appeared on my page and the first man to appear was...wait for it...X’s brother! Can you believe it?!? Ugh! I wasn’t feeling very confident about this app so I immediately disabled my dating profile. When I got home, I decided to prepare a
On Christmas Day, while the fam was napping, I decided to join Tinder. Yes, I joined Tinder while sitting in my parents’ living room (Hi Mom and Dad!😅). I selected five photos and wrote my dorky profile then launched it into the Tindersphere. Yes, I was terrified! What if no one liked my profile? What if it somehow went public and I was ridiculed? Really, did it matter? Ego said yes! 😝 Then my soul said all was good and just allow. What's meant to be will be!
Before I continue, you should probably be educated on how Tinder works:
- Once profiles are launched, Tinderites (people on Tinder?) set their preferences for their perfect mate:
- Maximum distance from you
- Women/Men/Everyone
- Age range
- Yes, those are the only criteria given for finding your soulmate!
- Tinder then provides you with a plethora of people who match your preferences.
- One at a time, you scroll through the
applicantscandidateshopefuls. - You swipe left for those that don’t interest you.
- You swipe right for those that do interest you.
- When the person you swiped right on also swipes right on your profile, IT’S A MATCH - you get a notification that it's a match and that person ends up in your Matches list.
- You can only send messages to people in your Matches list.
Well, I decided to upgrade my account and paid $40 for the month (I'm committed to this Tinder experience for one month!) to get additional perks like seeing who liked my profile. That means as soon as I swipe right on any of the hopefuls who liked my profile, IT’S A MATCH (because he’s already swiped right on my profile).
Since Bridget Jones inspired this blog almost 10 years ago, the rest of my blog post will be written à la Bridget Jones ❤️
Day 1: December 25, 2019
- Merry Christmas!🎄
- Joined Tinder!😍
- 200+ likes on my profile (WTF?!?)
- Swiped right on 11 profiles (yes, out of 200+ so that's approximately 5%)
- Chatted with 8 Hopefuls: The Veg, Mother Earth News, Hugo Boss, Frenchie, Sexter, Hates Ex, Architect (???) and honorable mention goes to Chef because he said hi then I said hi and that was it
- Note to Reader: Reminder that you can only chat with someone who swiped right on your profile and you swiped right on their profile – IT’S A MATCH.
- The first to write was The Veg. Yes, he’s a vegetarian (it would be awesome to date a vegetarian or vegan!), he appeared to be a cutie in his photos and his profile made me chuckle so that was a nice bonus. We quickly set a date to meet-up on the following Friday (yes, that’s tomorrow!). Wow, that was easy!
- Then the next hopeful I received a message from really peaked my interest. To be honest, he had me at “Do you read Mother Earth News?”
- The following chats ended almost as quickly as they started:
- Hugo – after chatting for a little bit (it was an enjoyable chat at first!), he mentioned sex
- Sexter - all he wanted was sex (appreciated the honesty!)
- Frenchie - such a cutie and loved our conversation (in French!) but he lives two hours away so I sent him a polite message letting him know that I thought he was cute and sweet (mignon!), and that I enjoyed our conversation but he lives too far. He said thanks and that he understood. Never has there been so much kindness and politeness on Tinder! 😊
- Hates Ex - he quickly started ranting about his ex-wife
- Architect - was a cutie but my gut told me he wasn’t who he said he was
- Chef - ended after "hi" + "hi" then nothing
- Note to Reader: when you don’t want to continue a conversation with someone, you can “unmatch” them so they disappear from your matches (and his) then the conversation disappears as if it never happened (from yours and his).
- Additional Note to Reader: I’ve decided that I would let the Mr. Hopefuls message me first (only happens after we’ve matched, of course). Yes, this practice might change but for now, it feels more comfortable So out of 11 men I matched with, I chatted with 8 because those 8 sent me messages.
Day 2: December 26, 2019
- WTF?!? In less than 24 hours, I’ve had over 500 likes on my profile. Again, I had no idea there were that many single men in my age range within 120 kms. No wonder I haven't met anyone IRL (in real life) because they're all on their phones swiping on Tinder! And sadly, I’ve now learned that not all men on Tinder are single. Ugh! Yes, I'm naive and yes, that’s a lot of men to navigate but I did it! Out of 500+ profiles, I liked a total of 16 men so that’s 16 matches. Yesterday I chatted with 8 of them and today I focused on 1 of them: Mother Earth News.
- I really enjoy chatting with him. He seems like a down to earth guy, he cares about the planet and he enjoys gardening (he has a full-time “normal” job + he’s a farmer). I’m intrigued! And yes, he’s a cutie and he’s tall 😊 At approximately 6pm, he asked me if I’d be free for coffee the next day. OMG my first date in 10 years was going to happen in less than 24 hours!!! I think I’m going to barf! I suggested my fave vegan café at 10am the next day. Then put all Tinder activity on hold, STAT!
- Note to Reader: I haven’t heard from The Veg since yesterday so not sure if we’re still going on a date on Jan 3.
- Additional Note to Reader: You should always have a “safety partner” when dating online. When you’re going to meet someone, it should probably be in a public place and you should let your safety partner know about your plans and who you’ll be meeting. Cheesy is my safety partner 😊
Day 3: December 27, 2019
- OMG, it’s date day! I have not been on a date in 10 years. I think I might throw up then pass out.
- I’ll probably breakout in an uncontrollable sweat and scare him off because how could someone possibly sweat that much?!? I’d be scared too.
- What to do with my hair: hair down or in a bun on top of my head??? I love my bun and feel most comfortable in a bun but I’m going on a date so should probably have my hair down. But if my hair is down, I will sweat! NEED. TO. AVOID. SWEATING. Bun it is then! Okay, I can feel your collective cringe! A bun on your first date in 10 years?!? I went with comfort over glam. #sorrynotsorry
- Cheesy sent me an encouraging text which helped me to breathe and relax a tiny bit. (thanks Cheesy!)
- I arrived at the café 30 mins early so I could relax with a cup of chamomile tea and a book before Mother Earth News arrived.
- I’m happy to report that when he arrived, I was cool as a cucumber and didn’t sweat a drop!
- First impressions: he’s tall, he’s got a great smile, he’s a cutie and he’s well-dressed. Let’s hope the conversation goes well.
- And it did! 😊 He’s smart, interesting and funny. We exchanged phone numbers and off we went. He walked me to my car, we chatted a bit then he reached out for a hug. So anyone that knows me knows that I love hugs. I love to hug and be hugged. This hug didn’t give me any feels. But it’s the first hug so that shouldn't be a determining factor, right?!!
- He was headed to lunch with friends and I was headed back to work.
- When I texted Cheesy to let her know how it went (we are safety partners, remember!), she asked me what’s next and I said I was going to wait and see. He would have to make the next move. Yes, I’m old school. I figured I’d have to wait the usual (is it still a standard?) three days before hearing from him but I would be patient and my Tinder activity would remain on hold for now.
- A couple of hours later, I received a text from him 😊
- All Tinder activity remains on hold.
Day 4: December 28, 2019
- Since all seemed well after our first date, I decided to send Mother Earth News guy a text since he would be hosting his family for holiday meal: Have fun with your family today! He responded thank you with a happy face.
Day 5: December 29, 2019
- Radio silence. Haven’t heard from Mother Earth News guy since the thank you text.
- All Tinder activity still remains on hold.
Day 6: December 30, 2019
- I think I’ve been ghosted...
Absolutely fabulous post, Happy 10th Anniversary
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