Chasing Loons

You’re probably really excited right now thinking “wow…she actually posted on Saturday as promised” and “yay…a blog post about her dating life!”.  Sorry to disappoint but this isn't a blog post about my dating history.  Do you really want to read about the "loons" I've "chased" in my lifetime?  If so, I’ve got some stories to tell but this isn’t the time because I haven't dated anyone since X (would you want to date after that horrible experience?), I don't really have anything to share about my love life (only that it's lacking!) so instead, you're going to have to read about…wait for it…my most recent vacation.  What does that have to do with chasing loons?  Well, our summer vacation was filled with mucho memories including some exciting moments of chasing loons (yes, real loons!) and also our recovery from EDS (Endless Dock Syndrome!). 

A few weeks ago, BFF mentioned that we should go away with my daughter Sarah and her daughter Reb.  I don’t know why I typed them individually because I should really have typed "our" daughters Sarah and Reb since BFF is NVM to Sarah and I'm NVM to Reb (NVM = non-vag moms…a cutesy name created by Sarah in reference to her “favourite” mom, BFF).  Since Sarah is going away to university in September (have you heard?), who knows if going away on summer vacation with her Mom will be a priority for Sarah after this summer? 

Okay, I'm back.  I had to weep a little after typing that last sentence and unfortunately, I can’t type and weep at the same time.  I'm much better now!  Where was I?  Oh yeah, so we thought it might be nice to get away for a bit, just the four of us.  When we asked the girls what they'd like to do for vacay (short for  vacation - I don't know why I have to shorten everything - getting  lazy in my old age, I guess or I'm getting hip in my old age - you decide!), the girls responded in unison "camping".  Ugh!  Don't get me wrong I love to camp but as I get older (and lazier?), the thought of organizing all of our camping gear, lugging all of that camping gear, setting up the campsite, taking down the campsite, lugging the camping gear back home then making sure it's ready to go for the next camping  trip makes me cringe but if that's what the girls want to do, great  let's go (ugh!).  Before that happens, I wonder if my friend Mr. Lakehouse has rented out his lakehouse for the summer yet.  Remember that this conversation is happening towards the end of June.  As if his lakehouse wouldn't be fully booked by now?  Regardless, I send him an email asking about his house. Surprisingly, it's not rented the first week of July which is when we want to go on vacay..yay!    We didn't want to interfere with Sarah's summer job (which is still non-existent!) so leaving shortly after grad day was important.  So the “Lakehouse” was officially booked from July 2th to 9th.  Woohoo!!!

I’m so grateful to Mr. Lakehouse for letting us stay at his house for the week because it was an amazingly relaxing week and so many wonderful memories were created.  When we arrived, the first thing I wanted to do was jump in the lake.  We arrived around 5pm and the sun was glistening on the lake making it sparkle.  I wondered if I would sparkle too if I jumped in the lake. So I stripped down to my underwear and jumped in the lake.  Glorious!  Our first day ended with all four of us sitting in bed together.  Two of us were reading, two of us were on our laptops and one of us was staring at her reflection in the wall-mounted fireplace.   Yes, I can count (remember, I’m a math geek?).  One of us was actually on the laptop and reading.  That dork was me!  Speaking of dork, I need to ask you a question.  What would you do when staying at a cottage or hotel:  a) hang up your clothes and put your belongings in drawers, b) live out of your suitcase/backpack, or c) leave your clothes in a heap on the floor?  Well, I’m sure you will all agree with me that a) is the only preferable option!  But enough about the slobs that I lived with for a week (just kidding!)…let’s move onto the memories.

While at the lakehouse, we kept our friends and family abreast of our activities on Facebook (speaking of breasts, I also changed my blog pic to a "racy" photo of me chilaxing by the lake - what do you think...too much cleavage skin?). One of my FB statuses was simply "Chasing loons".  Brilliant, I know.  I was, of course, inspired by Adele's "Chasing Pavements". Her song came to my mind when I was chasing after the loons to see how close I could get to them (and I also wanted a great photo!).  My reading was interrupted often by the loons teasing me with their cries so I’d jump out of my comfy chair, prepared to see them “up close and personal” only to see that they were much further than their sound (I’m now interested in reading a book on the science of sound…any suggestions?).  Anyways, we also tried getting close to them in the canoe but they are just too fast (do you know how long they can stay underwater?) or we’re too slow stupid!  Speaking of stupid, at one point, I ran into the woods, thinking that I would get a great view of the loons on the other side of the woods but as I ran closer to them, they swam further away from me.  As the loons were being entertained by me, I was being entertained by the sound of Adele singing in my head:

Of course, BFF in her brilliance (my brilliance was once again overshadowed by her more brilliance!) commented on my status: "A loon chasing a loon".  Yup, that sums it up nicely!  I showed her though because I snapped the best shot of the loon.  Yes, I did!  Unfortunately, that "best shot" was captured with...wait for it...her camera!  I didn't have my camera outside with me (I had taken a 5 minute break from chasing loons okay!) so I grabbed the camera next to me thinking it was Sarah's camera but BFF informed me that night (with a devilish smile!) that I had captured the best photo of our vacation with her camera (Sarah and BFF have the same camera).  I tried to convince myself that it was okay and that "the photos are all in the family"  but the truth is that I had to beg and plead to get that photo from her so I could post it on my blog.  Okay, it might not have been that difficult to get the photo (she sent it to me as soon as I asked her along with other photos!) but nonetheless, it will be nearly impossible to get a copyright protection on the photo since it's not on my camera.  Okay, I digress.  Here’s the shot of the century :)   

Yes, that's right.  All of my work "chasing loons" paid off with this "money shot".

Of course, our vacation wasn’t just about chasing loons.  You’re probably still wondering about my earlier reference to EDS (Endless Dock Syndrome).  Well, that diagnosis comes from my brilliant daughter.  We spent a lot of our time (when we weren’t afraid to melt from the intense heat of the sun!) on the dock.  For those of you who have spent lots of time on a dock, you’re probably familiar with the swaying movements created by the water even when calm.  It’s a very soothing feeling…when you’re on the dock!  When you are no longer on the dock and still feel yourself swaying as if you’re on the dock, it’s somewhat disturbing.  I especially felt it when I was standing still or when I was lying in bed.  At first, you’re not sure what’s happening but are extremely grateful when you hear someone else talking about how they fell like they are swaying (I’m not crazy afterall!).  Once we discovered that we all felt that endless feeling of swaying.  Sarah named the “condition” Endless Dock Syndrome or as it’s now known in our circle “EDS’.  The symptoms of EDS only went away two or three days after we returned from the lakehouse.  Oh how I miss that feeling!  I’m outside, in my backyard, under a tree, typing this blog post and I’m trying to imagine what it would feel like to be on the dock with my laptop.  Maybe I’d be afraid of having my laptop fall into the lake which reminds me of my near-death experience at the lake…

Brace yourselves because it’s a good one!   BFF, Sarah and Reb left for a couple of hours so I decided to sit on the dock all by myself and read under BFF’s new beach umbrella. If you’re fair-skinned like us (Sarah is the exception!), you can’t sit out on the dock during the peak sunburning hours so we were banished to the shade, away from the dock but still close to the lake, for most of the day.  BFF decided that she would buy an umbrella so we could sit on the dock during the day.  The only problem with the beach umbrella is that there is no place to “stick it” so we tucked it between two wooden Adirondack chairs to stabilize it.  That works fine if there are two people sitting in those chairs but when you’re alone on the deck, bad things happen to beach umbrellas!  I’d like to say that tornado swept in and took the umbrella with it but I’m not that dramatic (ahem!) so the truth is that it only took a slight breeze mild wind to pick up the umbrella and blow it into the lake, top down of course.  So what do I do?  Well, I jump in the lake to rescue the umbrella of course.  Remember when I told you about my frozen shoulder in a previous blog post?  Well, I still have that damn frozen shoulder so when I jumped into the lake to save the umbrella, I hurt my shoulder BADLY (and I’m not being dramatic!).   As I was dealing with the pain of my shoulder, I was watching the umbrella sink quickly to the bottom of the lake.  In that moment, I became a hero.  Actually, I became a superhero with a gimp arm (doesn’t having a gimp arm automatically make me a superhero?!). I dove down to the bottom of the lake and retrieved the umbrella (can you picture it?).  The problem was that the umbrella was drowning top down so as I pulled up the umbrella (with only one good arm!), I was also bringing up half the lake in the umbrella so it was extremely heavy.  Never one to give up, I eventually rescued the umbrella.  I slowly swam the umbrella to the dock, and placed it gently on the dock (poor thing was traumatized!) while I headed for the ladder to climb out of the lake.  Sure the lake is only 7 feet deep next to the dock where the umbrella was drowning but it was still a death-defying feat on my part!  You’re welcome umbrella! 

Speaking of saving lives, you might also be interested in hearing about the other lives that I saved at the lakehouse (I’m a superhero, remember?).  One night, while we were playing Monopoly (I think that’s the night it happened), I saved a spider from certain death after hearing Sarah shriek.  I put the “scary” spider in a container and was opening the door to release him with the other creepy crawlies when I was attacked by a swarm of shad flies that were clinging to the door because they were attracted to the lights in the house.  Yikes!  I think I probably swallowed a hundred shad flies (so much for the vegetarian diet!) and another thousand shad flies made their way into the sun room (thankfully I had closed the doors in the sun room so the house was saved!).  Needless to say, the spider escaped (and probably found its way to Sarah’s room!) and the next morning, we found ourselves having to clean up hundreds of dead bodies; bodies of dead shad flies in the sunroom (it turns out that their life span is a mere 24 hours so at least they got to spend time in the sunroom!).  Always one to look on the positive side, having to clean up all of those corpses meant that I was able to use the Dyson vacuum that I had been thinking about since I set my eyes on that bad boy a couple of days earlier.  Oh the suction power of a Dyson!  I’m now itching to purchase my very own Dyson.  BFF’s mom posted the most hilarious comment on my Facebook status in which I shared my love for the Dyson.   Her comment:  “Will a Dyson vacuum all by itself?  If not you will definitely have to look for a husband.”  So I went from chasing loons to chasing Dyson to now needing to chase a husband who will use the Dyson.  Wow…what a week! 

Is it possible that we could have more memories to share from a one-week vacation?  Well of course :)

This is my favourite photo taken by BFF
(those are my beloved Crocs!)

I forgot to mention that there were actually 5 houseguests staying at the lakehouse.  You’re probably thinking “wow…did Tracey sneak a man into the lakehouse?”.  Geez, who do you think I am???  According to two people in the lakehouse (I’m not going to reveal who the crazy people are in my posse!), the lakehouse was haunted by a ghost!  I’m thankful for not being cursed blessed with a sixth sense (wasn’t that a great movie?) because I didn’t hear a thing but I must say that I was pretty creeped out thinking about the house being haunted. Not surprisingly, the ghost was given a name…”Fred”.  I’m hoping that Fred decided not to follow us home and that he enjoys staying at the lakehouse.  If I were him, I’d stay by the lake! 

In addition to the remarkable company that I kept (all 4 of them!), I will always remember the yummy vegetarian food!  The in-house cooks, BFF and Reb, prepared lasagna, quiche, chilli, veggie burgers, potato salad, mixed greens, poutine, fried tofu and veggies, pancakes and quinoa burgers.  For those of you thinking that I was catered to all week, you should know that yes, I was spoiled but I was also a slave to these girls!  I washed dishes (the dishes that didn’t fit in the dishwasher!), made French Toast and scrambled eggs, and I was responsible for boiling the water for tea, and for cutting the watermelon and mangoes (it was no vacation!). 

Other memorable events include (please note that the following photos are all mine and easily copyrighted by me because they are on my camera except the photo of the deer which was on BFF's camera):

My modeling stint on the “catwalk” (I’m a superhero and supermodel! Too bad there's no photo of this!)

Bird watching (loons, great blue herons (my fave!) and woodpeckers, just to name a few but in this photo, you're seeing microscopic loons)

Meeting our friends SQ, the squirrel and “Scoot”, the hybrid squirrel/chipmunk

Swimming in the lake (I’m a water baby!)

Seaweed (thanks Sarah for throwing a piece of seaweed at me that stuck to my back and I couldn't reach it because of my stoopid gimp arm...argh! + ew = arghew!)

Canoeing

Fruit to Go (no comment!)

Fishermen

Schools of fish (there were even fish that enjoyed nibbling on toes!)

Snails

Rocks (BFF built an Inukshuk with the rocks)

Total relaxation (!!!)

Reading (we had to do a book run to a local bookstore mid-vacation because some peeps had already read all of their books…we’re a dork crew!  I think the total # of books read that week was 10...not bad for 4 people - not counting Fred!)

Movies (I watched No Strings Attached and Bridesmaids)

Bathtub (loved it!)

Geothermal heating/cooling system (very cool! no pun intented!)

SkeeterVac which eliminated (so cruel!) most of the insects within an acre of the apparatus except for the deer flies that were intent on escaping death in order to munch on chunks of my flesh (ugh!)

Oodles of laughter (hehehehahahahehehehahahahehehehahaha!!!)

Family Game Night/Family Big Brother Night (the season premiere of Big Brother 13 was on so that trumped board games...just sayin')

Trees (my favourite was this one...anyone know the species?  Poplar? Birch?  The leaves made a lovely rustling sound in the wind which reminded us of windchimes, if that helps!)

Deer (here’s one we encountered while driving to the lakehouse but thankfully it wasn't a close encounter!)

Campfire (I'm so lucky to have a BFF who knows how to start a campfire in less than 60 seconds…who needs a boyfriend when I have my BFF?)

Sunrises and sunsets

I know you're supposed to end with the sunset but I had to save the best for last which actually happened on our way home from the lakehouse so if I was listing the events in chronological order (which I'm not!) then this memorable event would have come last:

As we approached Packenham (a small town), there was a "Welcome to Packenham" sign that resulted in the following question (and subsequently lots of laughter!): 

“Are you "packin' ham" or are you just happy to see me?” :)

Who needs to pay for entertainment when you can hang out with us? 

Not only was the week blissfully peaceful, we were able to share quality time together and make great memories.  I can’t thank Mr. Lakehouse enough for his generosity (spanks!).  Being able to spend the week with “my girls” was truly wonderful.  I’m so lucky!!!  I think the week would be best described using some of Mr. Lakehouse’s lingo:  Sweet.  Nice.  Good times. 

Spanks for the memories :P