My "to do" lists

Yesterday, I had an aha! moment.  You know, the moment that leaves you standing (or sitting) there breathless, speechless, your jaw dropping  to the ground or in my case, your face erupts (yes, the entire face!)  into a smile.  Well, as I was standing in Room #7 waiting for Dr.  Acupuncture (aka spiritual healer), I noticed a poster on the wall.  I  had been in Room #7 once before but hadn’t noticed the poster because it's on the wall behind me but for whatever reason (you know how the universe works , right?), I walked over to that corner of the room when I walked into the room yesterday to put my purse on a chair that hadn’t been there previously.  On the poster was a diagram of a body  (you know, the diagram you studied in biology class that shows the skeleton and the muscles).  Okay, maybe it’s called the anatomy diagram but it had all of the acupuncture points.  The two points on the left shoulder (can't remember if it was specifically for the left or it was both shoulders) represent...wait for it..."shoulds" and "freedom".  So do you understand how this could be an aha! moment yet?

First of all, I’ve been having major shoulder problems. Three or four months ago, I started having pains in my shoulders, mostly in the left shoulder.  The pain progressed to the point where I couldn't lift my arm (still can’t!) up in the air or put my arm behind my back (hence the front closure bras!), thus the reason why I made an appointment to see the acupuncturist (for more information on my shoulder pain and my search for a "cure", please read my blog post "Getting Old(er)").  Secondly, I wrote about "shoulds" in a blog post "The S Word" on February 19th, and I wrote about "freedom" through creativity in a blog post "The Accidental Artist" on January 13th (it really counted as my January 14th blog post...oh the good old days when I blogged everyday!).  I had also been working on a blog post specifically about  freedom because it seemed to be a recurring theme in my life from the books I was reading to conversations with family and friends to therapy sessions (just being honest!) to news stories (tv, print and internet) but I never posted it (probably too personal but I’ll look at it again and possibly post it).  Am I painting a clear picture of the aha! moment yet?  Acupuncture points in a pain-ridden area of my body representing two "issues" that I’ve been thinking about, grappling with, talking about and blooging blogging about!  If you ever doubted the authenticity of my blog posts (I’m sure you didn’t!), please note that I bare my soul on this blog (sadly, for all to read but maybe someone can learn from my life???)! 

Okay, so let me get specific about the aha! moment.  The first part of the aha! moment came when I realized with every part of me (mind-body-spirit!) that the mind-body-spirit connection is real.  The second part of the aha! moment came (they were pretty much instantaneous but the first probably lagged the second one by a nanosecond!) when I realized that I had somehow doubted that there was a mind-body-spirit connection (I have an analytical mind that requires proof before belief!).   In that moment, the answer to "who am I?" revealed itself to me.  But as quickly as it appeared to me, it disappeared.  So the answer to the unanswerable question remains a mystery but for that brief moment, the universe (yes, the entire universe!) revealed itself to me, and I knew.  Now, sadly, I no longer know but what I do know is that there is an answer and I've just caught a glimpse!  The lesson though is that we must learn to manage our thoughts and emotions because eventually, they will have their way with our body!  Now, I'm slowly starting to learn the art of letting go :)

All of this to say (I'm long-winded, I know!) that while on this thing I like to call my "spiritual" journey, I've become much more alert to the "whispers" (whether they mean anything or not to other people, they mean something to me! I also believe that there's a cumulative effect to these whispers or signs.  Crazy?  Possibly!).  In addition to seeing my "spiritual healer" on a weekly basis (who knew that acupuncture was so powerful?), I've been breathing (consciously!), I've been practicing mindfulness (to the best of my ability!), I've been meditating (trying to!), I've been walking (sometimes mindfully!), I've been spending time with (or in?) nature, and I've been reading (I have a lot more time available since giving up television!).  I'm currently reading Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya.  In his book, I found two lists that I want to share with you (these lists should be shared with everyone!).  The first is “Daily Necessities for Building a Spiritual Life from Scratch”.  Since discovering this list, I’ve been challenging myself to see how many of these “daily necessities” I can consciously do every day.  So now, I challenge you.  What will you endeavour to do on this list?  I know there’s a lot of shitty stuff going on in our lives and in the world, and that it's sometimes difficult to find our way, and that most of us don’t want to add anything new to our list of things to do but trust me, adding these daily necessities to your life somehow make the crap seem less crappy.  

• Pray
• Meditate
• Be aware/Stay awake
• Bow
• Practise yoga
• Feel
• Chant and sing
• Breathe and smile
• Relax/Enjoy/Laugh/Play
• Create/Envision
• Let Go/Forgive/Accept
• Walk/Exercise/Move
• Work/Serve/Contribute
• Listen/Learn/Enquire
• Consider/Reflect
• Cultivate oneself/Enhance competencies
• Cultivate contentment
• Cultivate flexibility
• Cultivate friendship and collaboration
• Lighten up
• Celebrate and appreciate
• Dream
• Give thanks
• Evolve
• Love
• Share/Give/Receive
• Walk softly/Live gently
• Expand/Radiate/Dissolve
• Simplify
• Surrender/Trust
• Be born anew

The second list is something I thought could complement my blog post on mindfulness,  Mind~Ful~Ness.  After writing that blog post, I quickly realized that I couldn't be mindful because my mind is so full of crap!  You know, those thoughts that consume us.  The destructive thoughts ("I'm not good enough" or "I look fat in those jeans") or the constant judgments of other people ("Oh she really shouldn't be wearing that dress!") or the dialogue that goes on in my head about what I “should” have said or done in a past situation ("I really should have told him to fuck screw off!") or the thoughts that are absolutely meaningless (“I wonder who got kicked off of Dancing with the Stars?” or "Is Addison going to sleep with Sam on Private Practice?").  Regardless of the thought, most of it is garbage, and is taking up prime real estate in your mind (don't you want to have some space available to come up with a cure or send a woman to Mars or understand the meaning of life or solve the Rubik's Cube once and for all?).  It doesn’t help us or anyone else to be thinking those destructive, judgmental, meaningless thoughts so that’s why I’ve taken up the challenge to quiet my mind through mindfulness and meditation (even if people think I'm going crazy or having a midlife crisis!). 

Again, from Lama Surya's book, Awakening the Buddha Within, here are some ways that we can cultivate mindfulness and bring awareness, calm and clarity into our daily activities:

• Breathe and smile. Take a moment to let go, and just be. Enjoy it.
• Do standing meditation while waiting in line for a movie or bus or train.  Just stand there, breathe, and awaken.
• Whenever you sit down or stand up, stop and appreciate a moment of change, of freedom.
• Whenever you cross the threshold, go through a doorway, or enter a room, see it as entering a temple and do so reverently.
• Walk barefoot in the grass or on a thick carpet and feel fully each sensation with your toes and soles.
• Walk on the edge of a beach, where the water meets the sand, with your eyes closed, feeling your way along, totally vigilant and attentive.
• Walk slowly upon crunchy snow or autumn leaves, attending to the crackle of each step.
• Sing, chant, or pray till you totally forget and lose yourself; then stop and drop into a moment of inexpressible isness, completely beyond concepts, stories, and strategies.
• Experience simple, repetitive work like sewing, embroidering, or even washing dishes as meditation in action, focusing totally on the moment in hand and nothing else.
• Try doing manual labor in a sacred manner, just doing what you are doing as if it is the ultimate divine service, for it is.
• When eating, chew each mouthful fifty or one hundred times, getting the most out of the food as well as further nourished by the richness of each moment.
• Try chewing one single raisin for several minutes and experiencing everything you can about it.
• Before speaking, notice what motivate your words.
• Set a beeper on your watch or alarm clock to ring every hour on the hour, reminding you to wake up and appreciate the miracle of every moment. Call yourself by name and say, "Wake up!"
• Recognize the Buddha light shining in everyone and everything and treat others accordingly.
• Enjoy the indescribable joy and peace of meditation.

So what are you going to add to your “to do” list?  I'm thinking that I'd like to start chanting (don't worry...it would be in the privacy of my own home!).  Anyone have any good chants they'd like to share?