Mind ~ Ful ~ Ness

Enlightenment

noun

• the action of enlightening or the state of being enlightened: Robbie looked to me for enlightenment
• the action or state of attaining or having attained spiritual knowledge or insight, in particular (in Buddhism) that awareness which frees a person from the cycle of rebirth.

Mindfulness

noun

• the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something: their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition
• a mental state achieved by focusing one‘s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

I’ve always talked about enlightenment as if it was something that was unattainable, however, since discovering the miracle of acupuncture, I believe that enlightenment might be possible through the practice of mindfulness.  In my mind, enlightenment only seems possible as one big, orgasmic event while mindfulness can be achieved on a spectrum ranging from teeny tiny to small to moderate to walloping moments.  For example, I have started practicing mindful walking and mindful eating which are different forms of meditation but are both relatively easy to achieve.

What is mindful walking? It's a technique that uses awareness of the mind/body connection to improve the quality of your walking experience on all levels. By approaching a walk in a mindful way, you make it a practice like yoga, meditation, or tai chi; every session brings new insights and challenges. It's a great way to bring your mind, body, and spirit into balance.  Check out this link  for simple techniques for mindful walking. 

There’s an overwhelming amount of information regarding mindful eating but in a nutshell, mindful eating means  focusing our attention and awareness on the present moment which leads to a healthier relationship with food.  Instead of wolfing down your food and barely tasting anything that’s in your mouth, you become aware of each bite, taking the time to chew your food and enjoy it.  I have a tendency to inhale my food without realizing what or how much I’m eating, thus resulting in overweight ~ness.  Since becoming sugarless (check out my blog post "Survival of the sugarless"), I’m much more in control of the food that I eat but I still have a tendency to eat too much and too quickly (even if the food I’m eating is healthy, it's not a good thing!).  Mindful eating takes time and discipline, and means no more eating while I work or watch TV!

By exploring mindful walking and mindful eating, I’ve come to realize that I have been practicing mindfulness all along!  For example, when I cook, I’m practicing mindfulness because I don’t want to cut myself, or burn myself, or burn the food so in order to avoid any accidents, I’m in the moment and focused on what I’m doing, hence, I’m being mindful.  When I do the dishes, I want to ensure that the dishes are spic and span clean so I’m very much focused on washing the dish, the bowl, the glass or the fork, hence, I’m being mindful.  I’m not thinking about the work that needs to be done, or that crazy driver that cut me off, or the grocery list, or who got voted off of Survivor, or the clothes that need to be transferred from the washer to the dryer, or the bills that need to be paid, or that cute boy that I saw at the grocery store.  I’m in the moment.  I’m practicing mind~ful~ness.  BFF has taught me that standing in line at the checkout is a blessing.  While this activity thoroughly tests my limited patience (why can't there be more cashiers? why does this one have to be so slow? does the person ahead of me really have to be so slow at paying the cashier?  geez, another price check?), BFF says that waiting in line is an opportunity to relax, to slow down, to meditate, to be in the moment.  Now I refer to waiting in line as mindful waiting!  Can you think of the times when that you’ve successfully practiced mindfulness?  My guess is that the more mindful we become, the less accidents will occur (from spilled milk to stubbed toe to car accidents!) and we'll find ourselves misplacing our keys (or other important stuff) less often.  Try it, you'll see!

We're all so busy, and always rushing from one meeting to the next, and have so many things to accomplish on our to do list that we're rarely present, I mean, really present for any of it.  When was the last time you actually enjoyed, I mean, really enjoyed every bite of your meal?  When was the last time you stopped texting or tweeting, and actually listened to what someone was saying to you?  When was the last time you actually stopped and listened to the birds tweet?  When was the last time you smiled at a stranger walking down the street or noticed someone smiling at you?  Sadly (and it is very sad!), I'm guilty on all counts!  Not enjoying every bite of my meal because my mind is consumed with other details of my day, or watching TV while working, or thinking that multi-tasking was possible (yet very rude!) by reading e-mails while Sarah talked to me, or walking down the street so consumed by my thoughts or what's happening on my iPhone that I didn't notice the birds tweeting, or the person smiling at me (note to self:  that person could be my future husband!), or that there were roses that needed me to smell them!   It's time we start becoming more present in our lives because it's the only life that we have!  Is multi-tasking helping or hindering us?  I know we claim to have perfected the art of multi-tasking but have we, really?  Can we really do more than one thing, at a time, effectively, meaningfully and mindfully?  Just food for thought :)

So now that I know I’m capable of being mindful, I’m going to attempt (again!) to meditate, you know, really meditate!   

Meditation
noun

• Meditation refers to a family of self-regulation practices that focus on training attention and awareness in order to bring mental processes under greater voluntary control and thereby foster general mental well-being and development and/or specific capacities such as calm, clarity, and concentration.

So why do I want to meditate?  The world is a crazy place so I need to find inner peace, a way to heal myself from the negativity that we experience every day whether it’s reading the newspaper, watching the news on TV, being hurt by someone’s words or actions, seeing someone get hurt, or trying to heal the hurts of the past.  Meditation is a practice that I think will heal me, bring inner peace, calmness and stillness, thus improving my ability to be mindful throughout the day.  I believe it's also a way to sustain contentment. 

There are so many different meditation techniques that I can’t even begin to list them.   Not only is there a multitude of meditation techniques but different religions also have different meditations.  For some, praying is a meditation technique.  I’m going to explore different meditation techniques until I find the one that works for me, regardless of my religious beliefs (I promised myself that I would not discuss religion in my blog because it’s way too personal and sensitive, and it’s way too easy to offend people and that’s not my wish).   I've been exploring spiritual healing for a long time but my search amplified after my first acupuncture session which resulted in menstruation (aka starting my period, Matante Rose arrived) after 7 menstruation-free months (aka perimenopause!) (check out my blog post "Getting Old(er)" for more information) but now I find myself thinking about Elizabeth Gilbert and her attempts at meditating in Eat Pray Love.  Could she possibly be an inspiration?  The truth is that I’ve made several attempts to meditate in the past but without success due to my overly-overactive mind, and my inability to stick with something that I suck at (hey, I’m being honest!).   As you probably know, I’m not a very patient person, especially when it comes to me, myself and I so did you really think I could stick with something as frustratingly impossible as meditation?

Instead of practicing meditation, I’ve focused on yoga which is a form of mindfulness because you have to focus on your poses, on your body, on your breathe.   It's a great way to enhance the mind/body connection, but unfortunately, I find it too easy to think of other things while I’m yoga-ing so I think of yoga as exercise more than a meditative practice. 

Then recently, I started practicing Qi Gong which requires stillness and focused breathing.  I think I’ve been pretty good at Qi Gong practice but you move from one position to the next so there is little time to have your mind wander.  It’s a relaxing and enjoyable practice that has raised my awareness of the qi (energy) flowing through my body.  I believe that Qi Gong compliments my acupuncture sessions nicely but it’s still not meditation!

Breathe

verb

• take air into the lungs and then expel it, especially as a regular physiological process
• be alive; remain living:at least I'm still breathing
• literary (of wind) blow softly.
• [with direct speech] say something with quiet intensity:‘We’re together at last, ' she breathed
• (of an animal or plant) respire or exchange gases:plants breathe through their roots
• [with object] give an impression of (something):the whole room breathed an air of hygienic efficiency
• (of wine) be exposed to fresh air:letting a wine breathe allows oxygen to enter
• (of material or soil) admit or emit air or moisture:let your lawn breathe by putting air into the soil
• [with object] allow (a horse) to rest after exertion.
• (breathe upon) archaic or literary tarnish or taint:before the queen's fair name was breathed upon

So what’s holding me back (besides my overly overactive mind!)?  Is it my breathing?  Possibly.  I know this is going to sound ridiculous but focusing on my breathe is confusing, challenging and frustrating.  It’s just breathing, right?  I know, I know, it’s something I do naturally every second of every day since the day I was born.  Without it, I would be dead.  Yet I can’t quite perfect the practice of focused breathing.  Why?  First of all, I think the different practices have fucked me up lead to some of my confusion.  For example, yoga requires you to breathe in through your nose, and out through your nose, while Qi Gong requires you to breathe in through your nose, and out through your nose and mouth.  There’s also the deep breath and the short breath.  The breath that expands your stomach (okay, okay, it’s not really your stomach, it's your diaphragm but that’s what it looks like!), or the breath that expands your chest (okay, again, it’s not really chest it's your lungs but that’s what it looks like!).  I've also read that you can position your tongue differently for different breathing techniques, or you could be sitting, standing on laying down.  Do you understand why I’m confused?  I remember reading somewhere that our day-to-day breathing only utilizes 2/3 of our lung capacity.  What does this mean?  Again, there’s a plethora of information out there on how to breathe properly whether you’re meditating, or yoga-ing, or running, or walking, or kissing (ahem!) or wrestling.  I guess I just need to do what feels natural and good for me.  I do know that a deeper breathe (one that seems to expand the stomach!) seems to bring instant calmness and relaxation so maybe I should just think of the deep breath as mindful breathing.  Okay, I think that was my a-ha! moment of the day :)

Relaxation
noun

• the state of being free from tension and anxiety.
• recreation or rest, especially after a period of work: his favourite form of relaxation was reading detective novels
• the loss of tension in a part of the body, especially in a muscle when it ceases to contract.

Since meditation has been a failure not been an option for me, I’ve had to find effective ways for me to relax.  Yes, I have definitely found other methods of relaxation (ahem!).  Playing basketball, tennis and walking were always great ways for me to relax but it’s difficult to do in the winter.  Taking baths, reading, solving math problems or the Rubik's Cube, or having a glass of red wine (I only need one!) are also great ways to relax, and I most recently discovered that drawing and writing both provide opportunities for relaxation.  But for me, the most relaxing place to be is in the natural environment.  Nature has always provided serenity, peace and calm (unless, of course, an animal, bug or spider happens to think of me as their prey then I completely freak out!).  I have found that oceans, rivers, lakes or streams, in particular, provide tranquility.  The sounds of water (and the smell of the ocean!) and rain have a way of healing my soul.  Since I don’t have the pleasure of living by the water, I purchased music, Nature Sounds Relaxation and Tibetan Chakra Meditation, which has had a similar effect.  Not only does the sound of water make me want to pee, it soothes my soul :)

What other sounds lead to relaxation?  When I hear the church bells ring or the train horn or wind chimes, I feel relaxed.  Maybe it’s because I stop and take a moment to listen to those calming sounds?  Of course, I can’t talk about relaxation without mentioning…wait for it…my daughter, Sarah.  She has both the ability to get me riled up or completely relaxed.  When I see her happy or smiling, I feel at peace.  I know Sarah’s going to say “that’s creepy Mom!” but I have to say that watching her sleep is very calming.  Isn’t there something special about a sleeping child?  It reminds me of a book I used to read to Sarah when she was young, Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.  Okay, okay, I better quit now before I start blabbering about how much I love my daughter :)

No matter how educated I become about the art and science of relaxation, mindfulness, enlightenment and meditation, none of these practices are possible if I’m distracted.  Some of the distractions in my life are non-negotiable such as being a mother, working, hanging out with friends and family, cleaning and grocery shopping but some distractions are avoidable such as Facebook, Twitter, computer-surfing, getting drunk on red wine, and television programs.  So, in order to relax my mind, I’ve decided that I would conduct an experiment (no animals will be harmed!).  Since I have not yet successfully (whatever that means!) meditated, I’ve decided that I would eliminate television programs from my day for the month of April.  That means no watching television programs on the TV or on my laptop (!!!), and no recording television programs on my PVR for future enjoyment distractions. Instead of the hours spent watching TV, I will utilize those additional hours in my day (yes, hours!) to meditate, to breathe, to relax.  I'm excited that April will be a month of enlightenment!  Since today is March 29th, that means I have a little over 2 days to get caught up on Private Practice because there’s no way I can go a month without knowing what happens next :)

“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.” ~ Lao Tzu

“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.” ~ Zen Proverb