Out of the closet

I went back to work this week after two weeks off sick with Bell’s palsy.  After sleeping 18 hours a day, for two weeks, I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive a week at work but I knew it was time to get back to the real world even if my face is still a little crooked (especially my mouth!) and my eye still doesn’t close.   

This weekend I’m feeling a tad exhausted but I've been thinking that I need to tackle the space in my house where clutter seems to accumulate.  Whenever stuff starts to accumulate on the kitchen table, or kitchen chair (or chairs!), my nightstand or the coffee table, it somehow ends up in this space.  It’s also where all of my spare change ends up, socks that no longer make up a pair, and gifts that haven’t yet found their place in my house. For those of you thinking I'm talking about needing to organize a junk drawer (hell, no!),  I’m afraid that I’m talking about my bedroom closet!  

I live by a certain rule which states that anytime I buy a new piece of clothing; I need to donate a piece of clothing from my closet.  Based on this philosophy, you’d think my closet would be really well-organized and clutter-free.  Hell, no!  Sadly, it’s where all things without a designated place end up in my house; similar to the Island of  Misfit Toys where all of the unwanted toys end up!

In case you’re interested, here’s the inventory of my bedroom closet:

Dress pants

Jeans

Jogging/yoga pants

Skirts

Shorts

Dresses

Pyjamas (pants, shorts, tops, nighties) and robes

Tops

T-shirts

Sweatshirts

Sweaters

Socks

Panties and bras

Spanx

Tights

Pantyhose

Backpacks

Laptop bags

Empty boxes (waiting to be re-used)

Frames

Slippers

Purses

Old computer tower

Belts

Scarves

Boxes of photos (not yet in albums)

Bins of “important” papers

Bag of loose change

Mirrors

Old laptop

Shoes

Plastic bags (waiting to be re-used)

Bags full of travel souvenirs

I’m thinking of proposing an International Letting Go Day so people can rid themselves of stuff they don’t need which includes physical and emotional clutter.  Can you imagine how healthy and vibrant we would be if our homes, cars, bags, offices and minds were clutter-free (not to mention how light we would feel!)?    

First thing to go (besides all of the emotional clutter I carry around with me every day!) will be the fat clothes and the skinny clothes that are in my closet (and in a storage container in the spare bedroom but that’s a blog post for another day!).  I’ve been holding on to some skinny clothes since Sarah was born.  First of all, do I really believe I will be the same size I was when I was 20?  Sure, I may have lost 13 lbs while I was sick with Bell’s palsy but that doesn’t even come close to getting me into those “skinny” clothes.  Second of all, do I really think those clothes will still be stylish almost two decades later?  As for the fat clothes, how depressing is it to keep fat clothes in your closet?   We won’t even get into the psychological impact that it is having on me! 

The second thing to go will be the bag of single socks.  Why do I accumulate all of these singles?  Do I really think that one day the matching sock will miraculously appear?  Then again, I believe wearing mismatched socks is now in style or is that only for teens?

The third thing to go will be the bins of “important” papers.  Do I really think that one day I will search through all of those bins to find a single piece of paper?  For example, why do I hold on to paper copies of bills when they are now online especially once they are already paid?  Is it really necessary for me to hold on to a receipt for a vacuum that I purchased 3 years ago?  What about Sarah’s report cards from Jr. Kindergarten to Grade 12? Are my “To do” list from 2003 or my travel itinerary from 2005 still relevant?  Why am I keeping a receipt from Amazon.ca for books I purchased last month?  What about my agendas from the last 10 years?  Is it really necessary to keep a copy of an article that I read?  What about all of those recipes that I printed and never tried?  Should they be put into a binder?   What about the drawings that Sarah made when she was 2 years old?  Excuse me???  I’m not getting rid of Sarah's artwork!  I don’t care if they’re just scribbles made with crayons on a piece of paper when she was in grade 10 2 years old...Sarah’s artwork stays!  Got it? 

There’s still a lot of debate (I’m debating with myself!) about what to do with gifts that haven’t found their place in my home yet and the souvenirs that we’ve accumulated over the years from various trips.  As for the photos, I need to commit myself (not that kind of “commit myself”!) to putting the photos in albums.  I don’t know how scrap bookers do it!  I just don’t have the time or the energy to put photos in albums or to get all crafty with the photo albums.  Maybe one day?  When I’m a single 40-something cat lady, perhaps?

What made me chuckle while staring at my closet was how much shit I throw into the closet as if it’s a junk drawer or as if it’s my “under the bed” storage area.  I remember a time when you couldn’t see under my bed because every time I tidied my bedroom or apartment, I would throw everything under my bed.  I’m much better now but really, am I?  Instead of putting things under my bed, I put them in the closet.  I have found myself frantically cleaning my house before company arrives and throwing everything in my closet including the pile of clothes on my “clothes chair” in my bedroom (how pathetic!).  Different space but same issue, right?  From this day forward, I promise that if something doesn’t have a place in my house, it will be donated or trashed (especially all of those “important” papers that I accumulate!).  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so bad that I need to apply to be on “Hoarders” since it’s really only my closet that’s a problem (and the bins in my storage room…ahem!) but I truly believe that any physical clutter must be, on some level, psychologically or emotionally disturbing or limiting, right?  So what’s hiding in your closet? 

Speaking of hiding in your closet…

I must admit that I haven't yet tackled the closet (I’m low energy, people!) because I've been too busy catching up on The Rosie Show episodes that I recorded during the premiere week (yes, I’m addicted to TV again!).  On one of the shows, Rosie mentioned National Coming Out Day.  It was the first time I heard of NCOD so I did a quick search on Wikipedia and found the following:

National Coming Out Day is an internationally-observed civil awareness day celebrating individuals who publicly identify as bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender—coming out regarding one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity being akin to a cultural rite of passage for LGBT people. The holiday is observed annually by members of the gay community on October 11.

It saddens me that we need a day to celebrate the “coming out” of people who are bisexual, gay, lesbian or transgender because my dream is that one day we will live in a society where people do not have to hide who they are, are free to live openly, and where judgments are not cast on people for being who they were born to be.  

I'm starting to think that National Coming Out Day should be a week-long celebration for people to feel free and supported to come out, not only regarding one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity, but also to support people who want to come out with anything that they’ve been hiding or have been uncomfortable sharing with others.  During National Coming Out Day, you could come “out of the closet” with anything that “shames” you or seems unaccepted or frowned upon by society.  Not that I want to take away from the awareness-raising and educational opportunities provided by NCOD but I think the more we see each other’s differences, the more accepting we will be of each other because we’ll soon realize that we’re really not that different at all.  That’s my dream (especially as a mother!) that we are all free to live authentic lives! 

When I saw this photo of a sculpture in Philadelphia, it really touched me.  It represents my dream for all of us – freedom to be whom we were all born to be without any limitations!  Both BFF’s daughter and mother posted the photo on Facebook (not sure about the photo credit but I've included the artist's website on the photo caption...just click on it!) so I thought this was a great opportunity to share the photo with you:




Freedom by Zenos Frudakis

 

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’ve come out of the closet about my clutter closet issue (again, I'm not belittling the important issues that are raised during NCOD!) and now I’d like to reveal one of my fears that will hopefully set me free.  My fear is perfectly reflected in a prayer, written brilliantly by Marianne Williamson.  All week, I’ve been watching Oprah’s Lifeclass and it’s really opened my eyes to how we sabotage ourselves, cast judgment on each other and ourselves without really understanding why.  Each of us should be able to relate to this fear and trust me when I say that each of us needs to come out of the closet about this fear so we can all be liberated!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear

is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness,

that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people

won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest

the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And when we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

~ Marianne Williamson

Now, it's time to celebrate:

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  ~ Steve Jobs