To my daughter

My love.  My life.  My everything.  That's you!

As we pack up the final stuff for your move tomorrow, I thought I'd take the time tonight, while you're out doing some last minute shopping with Reb, to write my weekly blog post since I might not be able to post on Saturday.  Can you believe that tomorrow you are moving away for university (sniff, yay, sniff, yay!)?  There are so many emotions to manage including sadness, happiness, numbness and pride (just to name a few!).  So like a daughter on her wedding day, you must listen to your mother's words of wisdom as I send you off on your next adventure.  Sure, you're the wise one in our relationship but I might just have a few things to say to you that you'll be able to take with you to university  that will comfort you, support you, guide you.

I know I've already mentioned the following in “When I Grow Up” but I think it’s worth repeating.  Here's my prayer for you: 

“That you open your heart and your mind to possibilities that you have not dreamed of and to realms of joy you have hardly imagined;

That you live fully and love deeply;

That you breathe and smile;

That you relax, enjoy, laugh and play;

That you let go, forgive and accept;

That you find meaningful work;

That you serve and contribute;

That you listen, learn and inquire;

That you consider and reflect;

That you cultivate contentment, friendship and flexibility;

That you lighten up, expand, evolve, open up and include;

That you dream;

That you celebrate, appreciate and give thanks;

That you love, appreciate, share, give and receive;

That you walk softly and live gently;

That you surrender and trust;

That you are free to live, to soar, to create, to love, to feel passion for good, and to do the good with passion.”

I know that you're shitting your pants scared right now but I'm here to tell you that you have nothing to fear but fear itself (and the big scary people living in that big scary city you now call home!). Don't let fear paralyze you from achieving what you were meant to achieve and from doing the things you want to do.  I believe in you; I have always believed in you!  Now it's your turn to believe in yourself because hello…it’s official….you are now a university student!  I’m SO very proud of you Sarah!   I know you’ll be just fine because you’ve shown me that you’re ready to spread your wings and you’re ready to soar!  Why am I so confident?  Well you have proven yourself to me so many times that I have no doubts that you will succeed.   You will survive the transition from living at home to living on your own the same way you survived all of the other transitions in your life.   Here’s the proof:

• You went from living a safe, cozy and carefree life inside of my womb (sounds gross, I know!) to being born into this crazy world.  I’m sure you were terrified when you saw the light of day but you survived! 
• You went from being breast fed (I know, I know…you don’t need to be reminded that you were breastfed!) to being bottle fed and eating solid foods...and you survived.
• When you were 2 years old, you went from a crib to a toddler’s bed.  You were scared but you obviously survived and are no longer sleeping in the crib!
• When you were 3 years old, you transitioned from a baby bottle to a cup.  You were scared but you’re obviously no longer drinking from a bottle, at least not a baby bottle (hello frosh week!).
• When you were 4 years old, you went from the toddler bed to a twin-size bed.  You were scared but you obviously survived since you’re no longer sleeping in the toddler bed!
• When you were 3 or 4 years old (I can’t remember exactly how old you were because my memory is starting to fail me, okay?!), you learned how to ride a tricycle.  You were scared but you learned how to ride it.   When you fell off of the tricycle, you got right back on!    
• When you were 3 or 4 years old, you took your first swimming lessson.  You were terrified of the water but look at you now...you love the water!  You even soak in the tub sometimes :P
• When you were 5 years old, the training wheels came off and you learned how to ride a bicycle.  You were scared but you’re obviously no longer riding a tricycle.  When you fell off of the bicycle, you got right back on!
• You were scared (so was I!) on your first day of Jr. Kindergarten but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year. 
• You were scared on your first day of Kindergarten (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 1 (so was I!), but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 2 at a new school, in a new city (so was I!), but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.  Even though you were at a new school, you made new friends and had great success!
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 3 at a new school (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.  Even though you were at a new school, you made new friends and had great success!
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 4 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 5 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• When you were 9 years old, you had your first sleepover at a friend’s house.  You were scared to be away from home but you made it through the night without your momma.  You’ve had many other sleepovers since then, and you survived! 
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 6 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 7 at a new school (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.  Even though you were at a new school, you made new friends and had great success!
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 8 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 9 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 10 at a new school, in a new town (so was I!), but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.  Even though you were at a new school, you made new friends and had great success!
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 11 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.
• When you were 16 years old, you learned how to drive.  You were scared (me more than you!) but you’ve blossomed into a very good and responsible driver. 
• You were scared on your first day of Grade 12 (so was I!) but you made it through the first day of school then returned to school the next day and made it through the school year.

Now you’re starting your first year of university and you’re scared (so am I!), but just as you have lived the last 18 years of your life, including 9 months in the womb, 4 years in daycare, 8 years in elementary school, 2 years in middle school and 4 years in high school, at 5 different schools, with great success (Ontario scholar...ahem!), you will not only survive but I believe that you will truly enjoy your time at university (not too much partying!) learning, growing (freshman 15...ahem!), thriving, discovering and succeeding!  Oh, I know you will because I realized a long time ago that what makes us a strong mother-daughter duo is YOU!!!  I figured this out quickly…I think you were two years old!   So there’s no doubt in my mind that you will be successful.  You are strong, you are resilient and you inspire me!!!

The only thing I worry about (besides the big scary people in the big city!) is that I know you'll be worrying about me, but please don't.  I'm 39 years old so it's about time I prove to you and to every one (including myself) that I can make it on my own.  Trust me, I'll be fine!!!  Leave the worrying to me because you have some partyin' studyin' to do! I also know that you can't just take my word for it so here's proof that I'll be fine:

You really won't have to worry about me because while you're away studying...   

• I'll start drinking.
• I'll be busy with work and piano.
• I’ll be catching up on my reading.
• I’ll be watching my boy haircut grow out. 
• I’ll be dating. 
• I'll start fitness class soon maybe even hot yoga.
• I'll join a cult. 
• I'll be hanging out with Nanny, Poppa, Uncle, BFF, Reb, Andy, Wen Shu, Nan, Pa, Chris, Joe and Jess (hopefully I didn't miss anyone but if I did, it's only because I'm emotionally-distraught!).  I'll also be reconnecting with old friends (warning to Shana, Kirst, Kelly, Chris and Rob!) and possibly developing new friendships!  Provided, of course, they want to hang out with Ms. Waterworks! :)
• I'll be sending you "care" packages often even though there will be little "care" in the package but lots of love!
• I'll be texting you, calling you, facetiming/skyping you and visiting you often (yes, I will!).
• I’ll be blogging. 
• I’ll be watching Gilmore Girls…over and over again! 

In case there’s a small chance that you are missing me bored and I’m not available to chat with you, you can always pull out the Gilmore Girls DVD set and watch an episode or two or an entire season of our favourite show or you could watch these GG clips and think of me.  By the way, the first one is a video I took of GG (hence the shaking!) with our neighbours yelling in the background and Johnson meowing...a little piece of home in the GG video just for you :)

If GG doesn't soothe your achy, breaky, missing-my-mom-terribly heart, always remember these words from one of your favourite Robert Munsch books growing up:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.

Here’s a link to the story, if you forgot to bring the book with you:  Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. 

Sure, I won’t be there to cook your meals, wash your clothes, tidy your room, wipe your tears, do your dishes, and save you from the big bad spiders that invade your space, but know that I am always with you in spirit.  Sweetie, you can make it on your own!  You’re a brilliant and resourceful young woman with so much potential.  Through the good times and the bad, you’ve always persevered.  Living on your own will be a piece of cake for you!  Don’t forget that I will be seeing you every month whether I will be travelling to see you or you will be coming home.  We will also be chatting on the phone every day and there'll be lots of texting, right?  We will also be using Skype or Facetime (if I splurge and buy an iPhone 4, iPad or MacBook but not likely since I have to pay for my daughter’s education!) a few times per week, right?  You’ll never really have time to miss me since we’ll always be in touch.  Not that I’m worried about you missing me, it’s more like you’ll be worried about me missing you too much!   I can’t wait to hear about university, your courses, the books you’re reading, the stuff you’re learning, the people you’re meeting, the new recipes you're trying, and your adventures in the big city.  You’re starting a new chapter in your life…enjoy every moment!  Never forget how much I love you, that I'll always have your back, that I'll forever be your #1 cheerleader and that I'll always be here for you whenever you need me. 

To quote the brilliant poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson , it’s time for you to “hitch your wagon to a star”. 

I love you Sarah!!!
I’m so proud of you!!!
Good luck!!! 
Have fun!!!
Bon voyage :)

Love,
Mom
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

P.S.  I'll probably be listening to this song (Taylor Swift's Never Grow Up) whenever I feel the need to cry so pretty much all day long for the next three weeks!  :)

P. P. S.  Remember that nightlights are cool!  :)

P.P.P.S.  If you miss me too much, I'd be happy to move to where you are!   :P

P.P.P.P.S.  I'm posting this tonight so we can both get the crying out of the way  :)

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.”  ~Alan Alda