Because you love me

On Mother’s Day, I was on a plane with Sarah bound for Vancouver.  It was a wonderful way of spending time with my daughter, trapped on a flight for a total of 6 + hours (she couldn't not spend time with her mother!).  Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to spend the day with my mother but fortunately, the three generations of women (Sarah’s now 18 so I guess I can call her a woman, right?), spent some time together the day before we left for British Columbia (I'll share more about our trip in a future blog post...oh the anticipation, I know!).  We brought Nanny her annual gift of a hanging flower basket along with some chocolates (I must confess that they were Easter chocolates from the clearance shelf but they were Lindor chocolates so that’s okay, right?) and two “Happy Mother’s Day” cards that let her know how much we love her and how lucky we feel to have her in our lives.  The cards made her cry…mission accomplished! :)

Of course, it would only be à propos to dedicate a blog post to my mother (right?).  Yes, I’m a few weeks late but thankfully my mom knows that sometimes things don’t happen when they should happen; unlike me who expects things to happen when they’re “supposed” to happen (yes, double standards…of course!). 

So Mom, today I’d like to dedicate this blog post to you.  To let you know how much I love you, how much of a role model you are to me, how much I cherish the time we spend together, how much I respect your opinion even if the truth sometimes feels brutal, how much I admire your ability to communicate and never give up a fight, especially when you are fighting for the people that you love, how much I envy your “kick ass”, your “in your face”, and your fearless attitude, how much I emulate your work ethic and your commitment to our community (your volunteer work is so admirable!), how much I appreciate the support you have given me (and Sarah and our entire family) over the years, and how much you’ve sacrificed for the people you love.  You have taught me so much!!!  I now understand (and so greatly appreciate) the sacrifices that mothers make for their children and for that, I’m eternally grateful!!!

I’m struggling to clearly articulate what you mean to me (to us!).  You’re an amazing mother, grandmother, wife (Dad would want me to say that to you…remember when he’d ask me to go out and buy a card for you from him?) and friend.  Once I became a mother, you became an even more important role model in my life.  It made me realize how selfish I was as a child, and how much I misunderstood your role as a mother.  Now I get it!  So the only thing I can say now is “I’m sorry” for all of the times that I didn’t listen when you were trying to teach, or laughed when you were being serious, or avoided you when you tried to get my attention, or disrespected you when you deserved only respect, or when I left the house after being grounded, or when I lied to you because I didn’t trust that you’d understand, or when I kept the truth from you because I didn’t want to burden you.  For all of that and so much more, I’m sorry. 

Since Sarah has questioned how much I remember about her childhood, I guess it’s only fair (okay maybe it’s a little unfair!) that I question you on how much you remember about my childhood (I must admit that my memory isn’t the best when I think about my own childhood but I’ll give it a shot):

• Remember when my elementary school banned shorts but on a blistering hot day, you sent us to school in shorts regardless of the new “no shorts at school” law?  Of course, we were sent back home but you didn’t give up without a fight!   I remember and am thankful.   
• Remember when we would sit together at the dinner table while I did my homework?  You were especially good at helping me with English homework (you always had me repeat, over and over again, the words I needed to spell for my spelling bees which lead to me getting 100% every time!) while Dad helped me with my French homework and Math homework (even if he made me do my divisions the "old-fashioned" way!).  I remember and am thankful. 
• Remember when my first boyfriend and I broke up?  I was devastated (oh young love!), in my bedroom crying, and you came to my room, sat on my bed and tried to console me?  I remember and am thankful.
• Remember when you were "trapped" in the birthing room, when I was giving birth to Sarah, but you stayed calm and remained supportive, even though you wanted to pass out from the sight of so much blood?  I remember and am thankful.

Oh there are so many more memories but I don’t want to embarrass you (remember the turkey dinner at Christmas that was left for us to salvage because you had too many white Russian drinks and ended up in bed early?) or make you cry so I’ll leave it there.  Just know that I have so many fond memories of you (so many memories of us laughing together until we cried and couldn't see anymore!) and am looking forward to creating so many more memories with you.  Imagine all of the memories we’ll have to share once you become a great-grandmother (of course that’s not for another 10 + years AT LEAST!) then a great-great-grandmother :)

We have been through so much together….the good, the bad and the ugly…but throughout, we have remained a strong family unit and it’s all because of you!!!  Thank you so much for keeping our family strong and for always reminding of us of how much we are loved.   I am who I am because you love me unconditionally and because you always assured me that I’m enough…just as I am!  I hope you know how much you are loved…just as you are!!! 

Happy (belated) Mother’s Day!!!  I LOVE YOU MOM XOXOXO

Of course, my Mom didn’t do it alone (she was the boss though…sorry Dad!!!).  I also have an equally amazing Dad (check out my blog post to celebrate my Dad's birthday "He's Da Man") who allowed me to be me.  You have both “raised me up” when I needed it the most (and when I didn't think I needed it but really did!) and for that I’m so grateful!!! You’re an amazing team :)

 

P.S.  I forgot to mention that my Mom's birthday is this week too so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!