At the end of the day

Have you ever had one of those days when the work keeps piling up, the brain doesn’t seem to be processing fast enough and the day doesn’t seem long enough? Well, I’m home tonight after one of those days (what a way to start my week!) so right now, I feel mentally, emotionally and physically depleted.  I made myself a cup of tea, juiced a few beets with some ginger, and made myself a bowl of miso soup.  Then, before taking a relaxing Espom salt bath, I stared at the books on my shelf waiting for a book to appear to me....The Prophet by Khalil Gibran! What a great way to relax at the end of an exhausting day at work! So it’s only fitting that I share the chapter on "Work" with you. 

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Then a ploughman said, "Speak to us of Work."

And he answered, saying:

You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.

For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, and to step out of life's procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite.

When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.

Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?

Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour a misfortune.

But I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,

And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,

And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life's inmost secret.

But if you in your pain call birth an affliction and the support of the flesh a curse written upon your brow, then I answer that naught but the sweat of your brow shall wash away that which is written.

You have been told also life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary.

And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,

And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,

And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,

And all work is empty save when there is love;

And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

And what is it to work with love?

It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.

It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.

It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.

It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,

And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching.

Often have I heard you say, as if speaking in sleep, "he who works in marble, and finds the shape of his own soul in the stone, is a nobler than he who ploughs the soil.

And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more than he who makes the sandals for our feet."

But I say, not in sleep but in the over-wakefulness of noontide, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass;

And he alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving.

Work is love made visible.

And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger.

And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine.

And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.

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P.S. If you're interested in reading more from The Prophet but don't have the book, you can click on "The Prophet" and you'll be redirected to a website with all of the chapters from the book (my favourite chapter is "Children").  If you haven't yet read the book, it's a must read!  The book was first published in 1923, is currently in its 163rd printing, has been translated into over 40 languages, and has sold over 100 million copies;  making it one of the best-selling books of all time (how many more reasons do you need before you start reading?).

P.P.S. I love my job and am lucky to be so fulfilled (and sometimes exhausted!) by the work that I do every day!

The AfterMATH ~ revisited ~

This morning, I sat comfortably with a cup of tea (no honey!) and my laptop prepared to write a blog post about “making marks” but suddenly, I was forced by the blogging lords (I typed blooging which completely cracked me up which made me lose focus on writing and I'm not even through the first sentence in my blog post but I’m much better now!) to change my blog post topic in order to revisit "The AfterMATH" but don’t worry I’ve filed away my thoughts about “making marks” for another day and will post it soon (so yes, that's another blog post for another day!).

♫  ♫  ♫  It’s celebration time, come on, let’s celebrate! ♫  ♫  ♫

I'm thrilled to report that yesterday, ~ Just as you are ~, recorded its 1,000th blog view (the crowd cheers). So the blogging lords I thought that today would be the best time to revisit “The AfterMATH”.  If you remember correctly, I had posted that I was a blooger blogger on Facebook along with the link to my blog (check out my blog post “Blooger Alert!”) then a week after my pathetic attempt at self-promotion my post on Facebook, I "published" the stats on my faithful followers readership. At the time, there were 132 blog views in one week (check out my blog post ~ The AfterMATH). Now three weeks later, I’m celebrating my 1,000th blog view!

Right now, the exact number of blog views is 1,031...oh wait...someone from Canada just viewed my blog so the exact number of blog views is 1,032...oh wait...someone from the UK (shout-out to my English friends!) just viewed my blog so we’re up to 1,033 (I guess 10am/3pm is a busy time of day in blogville!). Okay, let’s just stick with 1,033 for the statistical analysis of my blog viewing data. So, if my math is correct (of course it is!), that means, if each of you have read every one of my blog posts...You have read each of my blog posts, right? If you haven't, well you have no idea what you’ve been missing! May I ask why you haven’t read each and every blog post? It’s my photo, isn’t it?  So what was I saying?  I’ve written 37 blog posts (37 blog posts...seriously? I’m impressed with myself!) so if each of you has read every blog post, that means I have 27.9 readers. If god forbid you haven't read every blog post (excuse me?) that means I have more readers so let's say you're only reading 50% of my blog posts (what?), that means I have 55.8 readers. If you're reading 75% of my blog posts then I have 37.2 readers or if you're only reading 25% of my blog posts (oh my...I really do suck!) then I have 111.7 readers (so why aren't you reading each of my blog posts again?).  Or maybe you love my blog so much, you read each blog post twice then that would mean that that I have 14 readers or maybe my family and friends are reading each blog post 4 times which means I have only have 7 readers (and I love each and every one of you!). You should know that each blog post requires long hours of conching, a true pioneer spirit, passion, dedication, care, expertise and a commitment to detail thus demonstrating the passion and pride that....oh wait...that’s how Lindt chocolate is produced! The truth is that I have no idea how I write my blog posts every day but I do know that I always write from my heart and leave a piece of me on my blog every day (don't worry...that's a good thing!).

So I’m proud to say that on January 28th I celebrated my one month anniversary as a blooger (oh how time flies!). Geez...I can't believe I missed my anniversary! This is why I can't be in a relationship! I want us (you, me and my blog) to have a good, loving, compassionate, caring, trusting, respectful and playful relationship (unlike my “you broke my heart into a million pieces”, “there's a tear in my beer”, “unbreak my heart”, “get lost you big loser” relationships of the past!). In order for that to happen, I need to acknowledge that the love and support that you have given me (and my blog!) means so much to me (and my blog!), and that your support motivates me to continue writing. Without you, we wouldn't be celebrating my 1,000th blog view, and at this very moment you'd probably be reading about "making marks".  Well actually, if we weren't celebrating, it's because you're not reading my blog, hence you wouldn't be reading "making marks" right now (you poor, poor soul!).  Seriously though, every day I'm inspired by John Cusack my family and friends, my life, the people I meet (who am I kidding...I don't get out enough to meet anybody!), my life, the things I'm passionate about (hmmm...I haven't written about my rubik's cube yet, or John Cusack, or bubble baths, or fractals...okay, I better get on that!), the books I read, the movies I see, the television programs I watch, and pretty much everything that I observe in my life!

Okay, enough with the heartfelt stuff, let’s look at the blog statistics:

# of followers:  9

I'm not really sure what the purpose is of having followers because it’s not like there are any perks associated with being a groupie, crazy fan, follower...it’s not like you get a sneak peak or get free chocolate or are alerted that there’s a new blog post but nonetheless, I'd like to thank my apostles followers for their support!

Audience (based on blog views)

633 - Canada
244 – United States
122 - United Kingdom
13 – Singapore
11 – Denmark
3 – Malaysia
2 – France
2 – Ireland
1 – Germany
1 – Russia
1 – Ukraine

Okay, so it’s very likely that the readers in Malaysia, Ireland, Germany, Russia and Ukraine accidentally “stumbled upon” my blog and never came back (maybe there was a language barrier?).  I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my readers in Canada, US, UK, Singapore and Denmark because you keep coming back for more :)

Here are some interesting statistics (redundant...aren't all statistics interesting?):

• I’ve mentioned my FH John Cusack in 7 blogs including an entire blog dedicated to him (19% of my blog posts...that’s all?)
• I’ve mentioned Colin Firth in 3 blogs (8% of my blog posts) so I guess we know where my heart truly lies!
• I’ve written “wait for it” in 8 blogs (22% of my blog posts) and who knows how many times I’ve actually said it in each of those blogs (too many?)
• I’ve written “that’s a blog for another day” in 7 blogs (19%) and I know that Sarah loves it when I write those words so I’ll probably revise them to read “that’s a blog for another day, eh Sarah!”
• Shockingly (and disappointingly!), I’ve only referred to my two favourite movies Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo in 3 blogs (8%)
• I’ve referred to my obsession juicing in 5 blogs (14%)
• References to X...who cares?
• The words “think”, “thinked” (it’s highly unlikely but I may have made a mistake in one of my blog posts), “thought”, "thinking", “wonder”, "wondered", or "wondering" were found in 35 of my blogs (95%)
• I’ve written “moobs” in two of my blogs (5%)
• I’ve used the word “text-versation” in one blog (3%)
• I’ve written “surprise” in 9 blogs (24%)
• I’ve written “happy” in 15 blogs (41%)

After 33 days, blogging still makes me happy! I remember hearing Dr. Phil or Oprah talk about "finding your passion; that thing that makes you jump out of bed every morning excited to pursue that passion and live an authentic life”. Certainly being a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend makes me jump out of bed feeling happy every day as does having a job that I love and having a volunteer position that fulfills me but writing, well, it’s a different kind of happiness that I can't put into words (never a good thing for a "writer"!). In the book I’m currently reading, The Confident Creative (yes, I’m still reading it...I’ve been busy being a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and busy working, volunteering and blogging!), there was something that struck a chord with me; an epiphany of sorts.  The author, Cat Bennett, writes that “the simple act of drawing can deepen our sense of presence and open the gates to creativity, and that by its very nature, drawing takes us out of our worrying minds and into the wide open space of peace and possibility where inspiration comes to meet us”. Well, that’s exactly how I feel about writing!!! Who knew about the power of writing???

I admit that some days I have that terrifying feeling that I'm about to step in front of the judges (blog readers) on American Idol (my blog ~ Just as you are ~) and after singing for ten seconds (reading the first ten sentences of my blog), the judges (blog readers) shut me down, laugh at me, stomp on me then send me out to Ryan Seacrest (the blogging lords) who asks me in his best radio voice "whatever made you think you had talent?". My response "who needs talent when you have found passion and creativity!"

The blog has further inspired me to write my book and who knows...maybe one day it will get published! I can dream, right? Since I'm dreaming maybe one day I'll meet and marry John Cusack, or possibly meet Oprah? Maybe Oprah will start a new book club television show or a reality television show about writers and I'll be on it? And hey, maybe I'll achieve greatness (whatever that is!), thus increasing my ability to use my voice for the protection of the environment and all living things from being poisoned by chemicals and other toxic substances being manufactured every day by companies who are "running" our countries, and I could also be an advocate for social justice issues (you can’t have a healthy environment without social justice, and you can't have social justice without a healthy environment!). Okay, so I went off on a tangent but the point is that you need to live your dreams! What are your dreams? Sure, starting a blog and blogging every day wasn't my dream or something I ever imagined doing but it may be a step towards my dream of publishing a book, and being a catalyst for positive change in this world because "every journey starts with a single step" (Confucius).

To celebrate this amazing feat, BFF made a vegetarian poutine for us to consume during movie night. We ended up watching Eat, Pray, Love (no Breakin’ or Hot Tub Time Machine for us last night!) and at the end of the movie, even though the poutine was the best poutine I have ever eaten (seriously!), BFF looked at me and said “the next time we watch this (this was already our second time watching it!), I’ll make spaghetti!”  Mmmmmm...can't wait for our next celebration/movie night!  Okay, slight confession...at the time, we didn’t know that we were celebrating 1,000 blog views (had we known, we surely would have celebrated!) but I really want to share this yummy recipe that was served to me last night so yeah, I’m an opportunistic blooger blogger, what can I say?

BFF’s YUMMY VEGETARIAN (MUSHROOM) POUTINE

Step 1:  Make my yummiest home fries (EVER!) (check out my blog post ~ "Inspiration for paying it forward...fries?")

1. Cut potatoes into whatever shape and size your little heart desires.

2. Soak in cold water for 5 minutes (this is the key to the best home fries...EVER!)

3. Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit (you probably know your oven best)

4. Drain the water and pat dry the potatoes (this is equally important!)

5. Toss the potatoes with EVOO (extra-virgin olive oil), salt and chili powder (you could add whatever herbs and spices you want to the fries...or none at all!)

6. Spread them evenly on the baking sheets (this is also important...don’t pile them one on top of the other or else they won’t crisp) then in the oven they go for 40 minutes, turning once, until crisp and golden (please note that if you try to flip them and they stick to the baking sheet, that means they’re not ready and not crispy enough to be flipped so leave them be!).

Step 2:  Make sure to buy fresh St. Albert’s curds (or any curds you can find or just use whatever cheese you like!)

Step 3:  Prepare BFF’s yummy mushroom gravy:

2-3 tbsp of fat (she uses butter but olive oil will do)
2-3 tbsp of corn starch (or flour if you don’t need a gluten-free recipe)
2 cans of whole mushrooms (or 1 can of mushrooms or you can use fresh mushrooms if you prefer or even no mushrooms at all)
1 tbsp of soy sauce or Braggs liquid aminos (you may want more or less depending on how salty you want it)
Pepper to taste (optional)
½ tsp paprika (optional)

Heat fat on medium-high heat. Whisk in corn starch. Cook the fat and starch for a few minutes until the starch is blended in. Slowly add the water from the whole mushrooms whisking constantly. Continue to whisk until thick. Add soy sauce or Braggs liquid aminos, pepper and paprika. Lower the temperature and add mushrooms (again these are optional). Keep hot while assembling poutine.

Timing

10 minutes before the oven fries are ready, make the gravy. Put curds in the bowl, pour fresh hot fries over top, add another sprinkle of curds and top with gravy. The hot gravy will “melt” the curds.

ENJOY!!!

Since Big Brother is always watching (he knows when you read my blog!), I thought I’d post a photo that I snapped yesterday of the most perfectly shelled hard boiled egg with an eerily resemblance to an eye (am I the only one who "sees" the resemblance?):

A message from John Cusack

Were you freaking out as much as I when you believed that John Cusack sent me a message?  My heart started to beat faster, my mind got all foggy, my palms started to sweat, my eyes opened wide and my smile went from ear to ear...at least I think that’s what happened because it was a moment I didn’t feel present for (note to self:  you need to start practicing mediation and mindfulness so you can be fully present when you meet John Cusack...yes, I’m a positive thinker!).   Okay, so back to the message from my FH (future husband!).  The details are slowly coming back to me...I was on the phone with my brother and we were talking about...wait for it...my blog!  Since I was on the computer (we were discussing my blog, remember?), I decided to check Facebook (yes, I know...rude!  Sorry bro!) and because I was slightly distracted (only slightly because I can multi-task...except when driving!) by my brother talking on the phone, I freaked out when I saw John Cusack’s name on what I thought was my Facebook page!  So yes, my heart started palpitating, I started breathing heavy, sweat started to run down my face (and other places...ahem!) and my eyes popped (I originally typed pooped...wouldn’t that be funny creepy if my eyes pooped?) out of my head (not literally!).  In that brief moment in time (barely a nanosecond!), I truly believed that John Cusack had sent me a message (it may have been one of the best nanoseconds of my life!) until my bubble burst and I realized his name was on my news feed not my Facebook page!   I forgot that, the day before, I had clicked “like” on John Cusack’s Facebook page.  Do you remember when I added him on Twitter as part of my extensive research for my blog post “To twit or not to twit” (check out my blog post!)?  Well, after adding him on Twitter, I noticed that he had a link to his Facebook page so I checked it out and now we’re kind of like “friends” and I get his status updates on my news feed (along with 67,429 of his closest friends!).  Surprisingly, I never thought of adding FH on Facebook before last week.  Oh wait a minute...why would I have ever considered adding him when he’s my future husband not even a friend?  So I guess it’s not that surprising...I’m simply a sane person!  Okay, that last statement may be debatable but since this is my blog, I’ll go with sane :)

So back to my “friendship” with John Cusack...since receiving his message status update on my news feed, I can’t help but wonder when I’m going to meet John Cusack and convince him to marry me!  If Katie Holmes dreamed Tom Cruise into her life along with a marriage proposal, why can’t I dream John Cusack into my life?  I believe it’s possible people!  I have him as a “friend’ on Facebook now so anything is possible.  Okay, reality check, he’s not my “friend” on Facebook, I simply clicked “like” on his Facebook page, thus automatically listing his status updates on my news feed.  Okay, okay, I get it...geesh!!! 

Since I was awake at 5am this morning (yes, it’s Saturday morning!), I checked my e-mail then checked Facebook and John Cusack’s status update was the most recent on my news feed.  So I stalked checked out his Facebook page then I decided to search John Cusack on You Tube...wow!  There’s lots of junk videos featuring my FH.  So my overwhelming feelings of being a stalker crazy overly excited fan have been suppressed since witnessing the plethora of videos created to honour Mr. Cusack by crazy, obsessed, could never compete with me for his love infatuated girls (and possibly guys!).  Here’s one that I enjoyed but I must say that she missed quite a few of his films in her video (do your research! P.S. I love him more!):

Of course, one of my favourite scenes is the boombox scene from Say Anything:

And finally, one of my favourite scenes from High Fidelity (I wonder if he’s really that romantic in real life?):

John Cusack makes me feel like a teenage girl :P

So what does John Cusack post on Facebook and Twitter?  Well, he recently posted a photo of one of his paintings (he’s an artist!), he has posted stuff about American politics including a link to an article he wrote for The Huffington Post along with his point of view on the war (you have to check out his brilliant movie War, Inc.), and he encourages civic engagement by endorsing political candidates (he's so smart!), he posted teasers about his latest project (he’s going to play Edgar Allen Poe in “The Raven”...how cool is that?!!), and he posted a link to his new movie (well, it’s not so new...it was released in March 2010 but it’s new to me!) which I had never heard of before today  but it looks hilarious!  Check it out...

I can’t believe I never saw a preview for this film!  Damn you PVR for allowing me to fast-forward through commercials and miss out on seeing John on the big screen!   I feel like such a horrible wife  fiancée  girlfriend  friend fan!  Since I won’t be seeing him on the big screen in what seems to be a hilarious film...John Cusack in the 80’s...hello...that’s when we I feel  in love with him!  So today I will be going to rent it (I hope my small town will have a copy to rent!).  I’m supposed to watch a movie with my BFF tonight so I was going to surprise her with my newly purchased dvd set of Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (I realized the other day that it's very risky having the movies on VHS only so I ordered the dvd copies and received them yesterday...happy day!).  Instead I’ll surprise her with the Hot Tub Time Machine....I’m sure she’ll be stoked (saying stoked is so 80's)!

On his FB, he has also posted his location which is very dangerous Mr. Cusack!  He was recently in Budapest filming Poe then he was in Argentina (he could teach me to tango!).  As I had already suspected, John Cusack is intelligent, sexy, caring, artistic, handsome, passionate and he fights for what he believes in!  Hmmmm...a man who could stimulate me intellectually!  Oh how I long to have an intellectual conversation with John Cusack (among other things...ahem!).  Now that I’ve had an opportunity to learn more about John Cusack, I’m even more obsessed infatuated intrigued by him.  I think we’d be perfect for each other but that’s just me :)

Before I go to BFF's for movie night, I’d like to share a quote that my FH - John Cusack posted on his FB and Twitter:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffective, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation).  There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:  that the moment one definitely commits oneself – then providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones’ favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.  Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it!  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.  BEGIN IT NOW” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Had I seen this quote sooner, I would have posted it in my blog post “Eleanor’s Words of Wisdom” since this quote and Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “Every day, do something that scares you.” are beautifully and brilliantly interconnected for me. 

I truly believe that facing my fears and making the decision to start my blog ~ Just as you are ~ is providence in action :)

RIP Sir Juice-a-lot

It’s official…I’ve been sugarless for 10 days (the crowd cheers)!  Yes, some days were more painful than others (yesterday...ahem!) but I’m happy to report that I’ve temporarily kicked my sugar addiction, and I’m now addicted to...wait for it...my j-j-juicer!  Well, more specifically, I'm addicted to beet juice from my juicer (yum!).  So just to clarify, I’ve eliminated the sugar from my diet except some natural sugars including fruits and veggies. That means no chocolate, no licorice, no cake, no sweets, no ice cream, no cookies, no bread, no ketchup, no prepared foods that contain sugar (i.e. cereal) and not even honey in my tea!  No sugar also means none of that toxic substance the "food" industry calls artifical sweeteners (don't even get me started on that subject!).  Honestly, the only sugar I consume on a daily basis is the natural sugar in fruits and vegetables. So now that I’ve replaced one addiction with another, I can say that I love my juicer more than life itself! Okay, that’s probably a slight exaggeration but hey, I’m also slightly melodramatic :)

Where would I be without my juicer? I certainly wouldn’t have become a mad juicing machine, and it’s quite possible that I may not have been able to survive without sugar for 10 days (see blog post – Survival of the sugarless), and I can say with 100% confidence that I would not be addicted to beet juice nor would I have blogged about juicing (see blog posts – J-J-Juice and All Things Green)!

Who do I have to thank for this juiced blessing? Well, I have Sarah to thank since she bought me the “elite power juicer” for Christmas (thanks Sare!). But Sarah would have never been able to purchase that juicer if it wasn’t for the job she had last summer ($$$) Mr. Jack Lalanne! The juicer I received for Christmas is the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer Elite so thanks Jack (and Sarah)! Mr. Lalanne has been referred to as "the godfather of fitness" and the "first fitness superhero” but to me, he will forever be “Sir Juice-a-lot”!  

Sadly, Mr. Lalanne passed away this week at the age of 96!  He was known for saying “Now that’s the power of the juice!” and with his life as proof, he has validated that the power of the juice is longevity!  All the more reason to feed my addiction to red wine sugar juicing! This might turn out to be a healthy addiction except that Sir Juice-a-lot also believed that good health was the product of nutrition and fitness. Ugh! Does shoveling snow count?

As part of my tribute to Sir Juice-a-lot, I thought I would get to know him a little bit better so after some extensive research, I must acknowledge that Mr. Lalanne and I have much in common….he was a fitness expert, a bodybuilder, a nutritional expert, and a motivational speaker. Okay, so maybe we don’t have an abundance of commonalities but we do have the following in common:

1) When he was young (what’s considered young when you live to be 96?), he was a sugarholic, and so am I! 

2) He loved to juice and so do I!

3) He ate a “mostly” vegetarian diet and so do I!  (A side note to the steak-loving vegetarians: saying "I eat a mostly vegetarian diet" is very different from saying  "I'm a vegetarian” but that’s a rant blog post for another day!).

I admire Mr. Lalanne for being such a stalwart advocate for healthy eating. He once referred to the human bloodstream as a "River of Life" which is polluted by junk foods loaded with preservatives, salt, sugar, and artificial flavorings. I must say that I’m a very healthy eater except for my addiction to sugar which includes chocolate, licorice, ice cream, fudge, brownies, cake, sweets...okay, so maybe before I became sugarless, I wasn't so healthy but my meals are always healthy!  I don’t eat fast food, and I don't eat processed foods because I love to cook from scratch, and I eat a mostly vegetarian diet with as much local, organic produce when it's available. There’s so much crap in processed foods so I always advocate for reading labels which I’ve been doing since my daughter made the decision to be a vegetarian at the age of 10 (please note that I never read the labels on the sweet treats that I used to inhale consume...yes, I was in denial!). My trip to the grocery store usually involves shopping the perimeter of the store. At all costs, I try to avoid the aisles because you can easily get sucked into the yummy treats crap that they sell down temptation alley those aisles. Trust me, I haven’t always been perfect a healthy meal eater. I enjoyed eating Kraft Dinner or frozen dinners (you know the tv dinners) or canned soup or Hamburger Helper Potato Stroganoff. Okay, I cannot tell a lie…if I could still purchase Hamburger Helper Potato Stroganoff, I would still be eating it but I can’t find heaven in a box it anywhere :(

Now, now, let’s turn that frown upside down with thoughts of John Cusack juicing! Okay, I’m much better now! So Sir Juice-a-lot loved juicing so much that he created what I call, my precious juicer (yes, I say “precious” the same way Gollum does in Lord of the Rings). Since I love juicing so much, I was curious to know about Sir Juice-a-lot’s favourite juicing recipe and here’s what I found:

Jack's Super 7

This recipe incorporates seven of the most highly beneficial foods.

2 carrots
1 potato
2 broccoli florettes
1/2 small beet
1/4 red pepper
1 tomato
1/4 cucumber

Since I now have Sir Juice-a-lot's favourite juicing recipe, I think it would only be fitting to name one of my favourite juices in his honor.  The sweetness of this juice will satisfy any sugarholic :)

The Lalanne
Apple
Pear

Watermelon
Clementines
Broccoli sprouts
Parsley

 

“Anything in life is possible, if YOU make it happen!” ~ Jack LaLanne

Without you :'(

~ "Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative." - H. G. Wells ~

Unfortunately, I've had to adapt very quickly tonight.  Not only has my blog post changed dramatically from what I was originally going to blog about but I've been challenged by some extenuating circumstances (don't worry, I'll still blog about what I wanted to blog about tonight...I guess that's a blog post for another day, eh Sarah!).  As you know, last night I finished my blog post with the intention of watching the movie Rent but instead I went to bed.  Barely 24 hours later, I'm at home, filled with sorrow, humming a song from Rent:  Without You!  Before I begin to explain, I'd like to set the mood so go ahead and play the following song (again, I apologize for all of the videos but I'm enjoying having access to all of my favourite videos/songs and links all in one blog!):

Or maybe you would prefer Mary J. Blige’s Be Without You (love this song and the video....mmmmm Terence Howard!):  

Or maybe you would prefer U2’s With or Without You:

Now that we’ve set the mood with whatever song you chose, I think it’s time I told you why I’m feeling so…lost…without…my…(wait for it)…iPhone :(

Tonight, I had dinner at my parents’ so when I arrived home and realized that I didn’t have my baby iPhone (the apple of my eye!), I immediately started to panic…Where could she be?  Did I leave her with my parents?  Or maybe at the store (we stopped for groceries before coming home)? Or maybe she fell out of my pocket? Or maybe she fell in a snow bank when I got out of the car and is screaming “help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” but nobody can hear her?  Or maybe she’s in the car?  Or maybe I left her at my BFF’s (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we also stopped at my BFF’s on our way home!)?  Or maybe she fell out of my pocket when I was getting into my car at my BFF’s and as I was driving away, I ran over my iPhone?  She could be laying in a million pieces on the road…cold and all alone?  So I picked up my home phone (I know, I know...it's antiquated but so am I!) and dialed my iPhone's number, hoping she was simply buried in the bottom of my purse (note to self:  clean out your purse!) but I didn’t hear that oh so soothing sound of my iPhone ringing.  Or maybe she's on silent (oh no!!!)?  Not only did I not hear her ringing (or vibrating), no one answered the phone so I couldn’t help but conclude that she was not at my parents’ nor at my BFF’s because they would have answered my phone, right?  Oh dear, my iPhone must be doomed!

I immediately called my parents to see if the phone was there (or maybe it was outside their house?).  I was told that...wait for it...yes, my iPhone was safe and sound at their house (cue Leonard Cohen...Hallelujah!!!).  Wait a minute...why didn’t they answer my iPhone when I called???  The reason: they didn’t know how to answer it :P

I still can’t believe I left without my beloved iPhone!  It's become a part of my body...a part of me!  I never leave home without it!  I always have it by my side, at home, in the bath, at work, everywhere!  Can you relate to the dependent relationship I have developed with my iPhone?  Can you empathize with the separation anxiety that I am feeling right now? 

Unfortunately, I live 40 minutes away from my parents so heading back to their house at 9:45 tonight to pick up my iPhone was not an option (I'm tired, okay?).  I know, I know…if she was that important to me (like a child!) I would have jumped in my car and picked up my phone without thinking about the 80 minute-long road trip.  Regardless of what you think (please don't judge me!), I do feel lost without her!  How am I going to wake up in the morning without my trusted alarm? What music will I listen to if I want to dance around the house?  What if John Cusack tries to call me? How will I play Scrabble?  What if I need a photo that was taken with my phone?   How will I communicate with my BFF without texting?   How will I check Facebook or Twitter?  What will I do without all of my trusted apps?  What if I need to access the information in one of the hundreds of notes that I've created on my phone?  What if John Cusack tries to call me again?  How will I know how to contact someone on my contact list (no one memorizes phone numbers anymore!)?  Oh my gosh...how willl anyone be able to communicate with me???  It's like living in the 80's all over again!   Wow...I never realized how obsessed dependent I was (am!) on my iPhone so yes, I will miss my iPhone dearly until we are reunited tomorrow!!!

P.S.  If you need to reach me, you can call me on my home phone, or you can send me an e-mail at my work addy or yahoo addy or hotmail addy, or you could leave me a comment on my blog, or send me a Facebook message, or send me a message on Twitter, all of which I can access with my home or work laptop, or you can text me or call me on my work Blackberry, or you could just come knock on my door :)

Spin that wheel!

No, this is not a blog post about my non participation in spinning exercise class!

No, this is not a blog post about spinning wool (I do want to learn how to knit so I promise this will be an upcoming blog post!).

No, this is not a blog post about Wheel of Fortune, it's a blog post about…

M__S__C & D__NC__NG.

Geez…someone was too cheap to buy vowels :)

Okay, so I could have made this easy on all of us and just called this blog post “Hey DJ! Spin that wheel!” but does that really sound like something I would say? I’m the girl who says “raise the ceiling” while pumping my hands in the air instead of “raise the roof"!  Yes, I’m a dork and proud of it!

So I’ve decided that the only way to snap (typing this made me giggle because I wanted to snap my fingers and shimmy…if you’re confused, you need to check out the blog post “All Things Green”) out of my melancholic state (that’ll teach me for staying in the house for over 48 hours straight…I need to get out more but it's so cold!) is to…wait for it…DANCE!

I love to dance around the house, when I'm hanging out with family and friends, when I'm in the car, when I'm at work (I like to "bust a move" and "strike a pose" when I'm sitting at my desk!), when I’m walking down the street with a little shimmy here and a little shimmy there, or dancing down the aisles in stores.  "Down the aisle” reminds me that dancing at weddings is always a blast especially when they play those horrible wedding songs (remember Macarena?)!  I’d love to say that I've been "dancing on the ceiling" but that hasn't happened yet!  There are, however,  two movies that have made me believe that one day it will be possible: Inception (zero gravity!) and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (there’s a great breakdancing scene on the ceiling!). By the way, how many times do I have to plug this movie before you go out and see it? Oh actually, you might not even be able to rent the movie! You could always borrow my VHS tapes if you’re interested :)

So when it comes to dancing, my rule is always dance like no one is watching even when there are people around. Okay, so it’s not a rule that is easily followed without alcohol but I do my best to get down and boogie (I’m such a dork!). Besides a bottle of red wine, you need an iPhone, iPod, mp3 player, a stereo, a radio, a television, a computer or a walkman (shout-out to Napoleon Dynamite!) so you can crank those tunes and get your booty shaking (some have more to shake than others…ahem!).

My (current) Top 10 Dance Songs (sorry but I’m a Top 40 kind of girl…just sayin’):

Mercy by Duffy (this song will forever be on my top 10 list)
Sexual Healing by Max-A-Million (this song will forever be on my top 10 list)
Just Fine by Mary J. Blige (this song will forever be on my top 10 list)
Got To Give It Up by Marvin Gaye (this song will forever be on my top 10 list)
Body Bounce by Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon
Please Don’t Go by Mike Posner
We R Who We R by Ke$ha
Raise Your Glass by Pink
Forget You (Glee Cast Version)
Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

To save you from the nighmare of picturing me dancing to these tunes, why don’t we focus on the professional dancers starting with...Ellen DeGeneres! Okay, so she may not be a professional dancer but she loves to dance...doesn't that count?  I love that she starts every show dancing. She understands that dancing makes people happy and don’t you want people happy when they’re watching your show? Well, I want people happy too so maybe I should start dancing before every blog post…I wonder how that would work? Speaking of happy…do you watch Glee? I think everyone needs more Glee in their lives. A little cup of Glee every week will shake the blues away (when are we going to be blessed with new episodes…I’m going through withdrawal!). What's your favourite Glee moment?  For me, it's every scene with Sue Sylvester (doesn't she have the best lines and delivery?!?) especially her wedding to herself (love the dress!).  One of my favourite songs/dances is definitely the Umbrella/Singin' in the Rain mash-up (disclaimer: I have so many favourites!). I love that there’s not only dancing but there’s singing too! Just like a Barbra Streisand movie!  Actually, I think I need a little Funny Girl in my life right now too! Speaking of Funny Girl, do you have any favourite dancing scenes from a movie (besides Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo!)? What’s your favourite scene in Dirty Dancing? Did you enjoy Betty White and Sandra Bullock’s dance in The Proposal? Or the dance in Can’t Buy Me Love with Patrick Demsey? Or the "Thriller" dance scene in 13 Going on 30? Or the dance in The Notebook (sigh!)? What about How Stella Got Her Groove Back (Taye Diggs you are fine!)? Oh, how could I forget the Napoleon Dynamite dance…I almost peed my pants! Or Brad and Angelina’s hot and sexy tango (I can't remember the movie!)?  Now I want to learn to tango or waltz or salsa…mmmm chips and salsa :)

What about singin' dancin' in the rain? This might be revealing too much about myself but I think there’s something so romantic and mystical about dancing in the rain (without umbrellas). Yes, I’m a dreamer! I have, however, had the pleasure of dancing in the rain with my BFF.  Okay, so it may not have been romantic but it was fun and cleansing (literally!). Have you ever danced in the rain? Now that I think about it…dancing in the snow could be fun too!

My favourite dancing show is So You Think You Can Dance (US and Canada) so I’d like to share my top three dances from these shows with you (my apologies but this blog is a great filing system for my favourite videos!):
 

After I wipe away the tears (that last dance gets me every time!), I’m going to medicate myself with the best cure (besides drinking dancing!) for melancholy (why does the word "melancholy" make me hungry for melons and broccoli?) and that’s watch the movie Rent :)

A world without bees

I’m feeling pretty melancholic today (lucky you!) so I thought I’d finally write the blog post I’ve been meaning to write ever since I signed the petition to save the bees (click on "petition" to sign it!). What are we doing to this planet? Why do the bees need to be saved?  Furthermore, why do the birds need to be saved? Why do the crabs need to be saved? Why do the cows need to be saved? Why do the fish need to be saved? Why does the coral need to be saved? Sometimes I feel so helpless that signing a petition seems to be the only thing I can do to make a difference.  It's just a "signature" and it only takes a minute so why not?!? (I am now compelled to research how successful petitions are at bringing about change...a blog post for another day!)

I’m not one to follow the news because it’s too depressing and I don’t understand what good can come out of me knowing about terrorists blowing up an airport and killing 35 people, or about car accidents that killed 3 people, or about a man who left his dog in the car in -35 degree weather but unfortunately, the news is everywhere so I can’t help but feel saddened and helpless when I see the following headlines:

2,000,000 dead fish wash-up in Maryland

4,000 red-winged blackbirds fall from the sky

10,000 cows drop dead in Vietnam

Massive Indonesia coral die-off

40,000 crabs found dead on the shores of England 

Today, I read about the mass bird die-off in South Dakota which is saddening enough but knowing that the United States Department of Agriculture has admitted to poisoning (and killing!) the starlings because they were eating the feed and leaving waste on the feed and equipment at a cattle feedlot was enraging!  What the hell? Is Monsanto running the country now?  Rise up people, this is abominable!!!

I’ve really not tried not to pass too much judgment on people who spray their lawns with pesticides to get rid of that "monstrous" dandelion (beauty is in the eye of the beholder!) while poisoing you, me, our children and our pets in the process but come on, intentionally killing over 300 birds (so far!)...that’s just preposterous!!!

The good news is that this isn’t an apocalypse (or aflockalypse as I’ve had the pleasure of reading), we are the cause of these brutal mass killings...we are poisoning this planet and the results are deadly!

These mass killings (or die-offs as the media have reported) have me thinking about a book that changed my life.  Do you have a book, a quote, a poem or a movie that had a significant impact on your life? Well, for me it was Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto (seriously! but that's a blog post for another day!) and Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring.

Ms. Carson inspired me to be compassionate, to love and appreciate nature, and to become a steward of our planet which subsequently sparked a particular obsession interest in pesticides. She educated people about pesticides while fighting the naysayers and the pesticide industry with the hope that the world would concede that these chemicals were not only killing animals and birds but humans too. I was convinced that I would write a follow-up to Silent Spring when I was "older" so I could continue Ms. Carson's fight to eradicate chemical pesticides or posssibly even discover a natural pesticide (she passed away in 1964).  That book had such a profound impact on me! She was such a pioneer, so passionate and compassionate and she made me believe that one person can make a difference. Some say that she was the founder of the modern environmental movement...I believe it! She fought the pesticide industry and won (unfortunately Monsanto still exists!). It wasn’t easy but she persevered. The book was published in 1962 and in 1972 the pesticide DDT was banned in the US (that was a very good year for many reasons!!!). The title Silent Spring was meant for us to imagine a spring season without the sound of birds because they had all disappeared as a result of pesticide use. The title was inspired by a poem by John Keats, "La Belle Dame sans Merci" which contained the lines "The sedge is wither'd from the lake, And no birds sing”.  Because of Ms. Carson, we continue to be blessed with nature’s music (thank you Rachel Carson!!!). With the bees in the news lately, I can’t help but wonder what Ms. Carson would think (and feel!).

So what is happening with the bees? I’ve been hearing about colonies of bees dying off for many years but it seems to be in the news again (ugh!).  Before I get to the headlines, here are some documentaries to check out when you get the chance: The Vanishing Bees and Pollen Nation.

So the latest headlines about the bees include:

Bees facing a poisoned spring: New kind of pesticide, widely used in UK, may be helping to kill off the world's honeybees

Bees Builds Buzz Around What's Killing Off Honey Bees (If you're checking out the article, don't forget to sign another petition!)

In 2007, Nature, a program on PBS, produced a documentary called Silence of the Bees and although I wasn’t able to view the full episode on the PBS website (you might be able to though!), I found clips on You Tube. I’ve posted the Preview so if you’re interested go ahead and search You Tube for the full video (I was able to watch it in 6 parts). It’s uplifting to see these little creatures working so dilligently and to better understand their importance economically and ecologically all while being fascinated by their biology (they do, however, make me feel lazy!).

The reality is that if we continue to use pesticides, we could potentially eliminate all pollinators (that would be disastrous!!!). Who wants to pollinate a flower that has been poisoned with chemicals (pesticides!)? Would you? So why would we expect the bees to do that? What about genetically modified seeds? What impact are they having on pollination? Who wants to pollinate with a genetically modified being? Would you? (Oh how I curse you Monsanto!!!). 

When I read (and re-read and re-read and re-read!!) Silent Spring, I struggle to imagine a world without birds but what about a world without bees? How would we ever talk about “the birds and the bees”, if there were no bees? What would I use to sweeten my tea, if there were no bees? What would cause me to run away screaming hysterically “the bee is after me”, if there were no bees? What balm would I use to soften my lips, if there were no bees, thus no Burt’s Bees? How would you tell someone to "mind their own beeswax", if there were no bees? What would we say instead of “you’re such a busy bee”, if there were no bees? And finally, what would people call me instead of “Queen Bee”, if there were no bees?

P.S. Happy birthday to my BFF’s honey :)

All Things Green

I promise you that this isn’t one of those annoyingly condescending blog posts where I preach to you about the state of the environment and educate you on the small acts that you can do to protect it (there are many!) but be forewarned those blog posts are imminent!!!

And I must apologize, in advance, to Sarah who will be thoroughly disappointed if she thinks this blog post is about Dallas Green because it's not!

The truth is that we’re experiencing an arctic cold snap here today (before you continue reading, could you go back and re-read “arctic cold snap” but snap your fingers when you say “snap” and shimmy your shoulders...isn’t that, like, so fun and sassy?). Seriously though, it's like living in the Arctic (before the demise of the planet under the aegis of global warming!) with a current temperature of minus 38 degrees Celsius (that’s minus 36 degrees Fahrenheit!) with the windchill...brrrrrrr! I know this because my favourite weatherman told me via Twitter (yes, I'm a twit!)! You should check him out @blacksweather (I still don’t quite get all of the symbols on Twitter but it's only been two days!) because he makes weather fun and hot and sexy (ahem!). So let's get back to that arctic cold snap (did you snap your fingers and shimmy?).  Since it’s so cold outside, I’ve decided to stay in all day and procrastinate about work catch up on my personal e-mails (I’ve got 200+ non-work-related e-mails!). Having read scanned over half of the e-mails (most were spam...so much for that spam filter!), I’ve identified a common thread amongst many of the e-mails.  I’ve read about green veggies, gardening, and the environment (I know, I know, I promised!), and I've read glanced at propaganda for the new movie Green Hornet and the Green Party of Canada, and I've read the latest newsletter from Green Living. So all of these e-mails have me seeing green and that's got me thinking (surprise!) about, well, I’ll let you guess...

Writing a blog about all things green? No.
About money? No.
About the green-eyed monster? No.
About what it means to “look green around the gills”? No, but you’ve aroused my curiosity!
About golf courses? No, Dad!
About emeralds? No.
About how much I miss seeing the green grass? No, I love snow!
About my Christmas tree? No, but I finally put away the Christmas tree, lights and decorations. It was a sad, sad day!
About chocolate chip mint ice cream?  Mmmmm...NO!

Ha! You think you know me, but you don’t!

All of this talk about green reminded me that I need to water my plants (it's Sunday afterall!).

So I’m back from watering my plants and while I was up, I boiled water for tea, took a warm bath, had lunch, boiled water for another cup of tea then I found this video of that cute, adorable, don't you just want to eat him right up (sick, sick, carnivores!!! Oh, you’re welcome PETA!), very green frog named Kermit singing The Rainbow Connection (I love this song!!!):

Oh Kermie! You really know how to warm up a girl's heart (sorry Miss Piggy but it's the truth!). 

Back to my e-mails...one of the e-mails I read earlier linked me to Dr. Ann Louise Gittleman’s blog (I’m a big fan of The Fat Flush and The Fast Track Detox Diet!) about Winter Wellness Fat Flushing. According to Dr. Ann Louise, dark, leafy greens are the most potent source of chlorophyll (Science lesson: chlorophyll is the chemical by which plants photosynthesize while photosynthesis is the process that converts carbon dioxide into organic compounds using the energy from sunlight) which is a powerful blood purifier and natural internal deodorize. Chlorophyll helps oxygenate the blood while supplying the body with much-needed magnesium. This anti-stress mineral plays a key role in over 350 cellular processes – protecting your arteries, bones, muscles, and nerves while keeping your blood circulating smoothly. It goes about its job as a meticulous germ fighter by setting free abundant amounts of oxygen. Doesn't that sound like a good reason to eat or drink your greens?

Unfortunately, Dr. Ann Louise is a product pusher (her brand name products!) so I’ve learned to apply the knowledge I’ve gained from reading her blog and/or books (i.e. drinking your greens will fight off germs and detox) and improvise. Today’s improvisation has resulted in a yummy juice straight from my precious juicer and I’ve dedicated this juice to my favourite “green” singer (no Sarah, not Dallas or Max!) Kermit the Frog!

Before sharing the recipe with you, I thought I’d tell you about my favourite green vegetable (lucky you!): the beloved broccoli and the equally beloved broccoli sprout. I’ve been asked on many occasions where I buy my sprouts (giggle, giggle) and the answer is that I grow my own sprouts (Tracey the producer!). I buy my organic seeds at the natural food store and within 4 days I have sprouts (why does saying that make me giggle?). Not only are they easy to grow, sprouts are so healthy! In addition to providing the highest amount of vitamins, minerals, proteins and enzymes of any food per unit of calorie, sprouts deliver them in a form which is easily assimilated and digested. In fact, sprouts improve the efficiency of digestion. Sprouts are also yummy and colourful. My favourite sprout is broccoli but I also enjoy mixing them with other sprouts including alfalfa (probably the most popular sprout!), radish and mung beans but there are so many more choices including peas, lentils and red clovers. To help get you started on growing your own sprouts (I know, I know, I'm childish but it makes me giggle!), I've tracked down theses simple directions (click on "directions") and this DIY video for you: 

Happy growing!

While I was looking for DIY sprouting information (hehe!), I came across this awesomely stunning (!!!) photo of a broccoli fractal (I’m rather obsessed with fractals!) which I just had to share with you (the artist, John Sullivan, has stated that he placed the photo in the public domain for it to be shared so posting it on my blog is allowed...just in case you were wondering!).

While you're admiring the photo of me, why not sip on this yummy Kermit Juice:

• Cucumber (I used half the cuke)
• Broccoli sprouts (a few tablespoons)
• Brocolli (a few pieces)
• Celery (1 stock)
• Parsley (a bunch of leaves)
• Spinach (approximately 3 handfuls)
• Ginger (1 inch)
• Green apple (doesn’t that count as green?)
• A shot of wheatgrass (I buy it frozen so I just added a cube to my glass of juice)

ENJOY!!!

STAY WARM...SNAP! :)

Help! I’ve fallen and I can barely get up!

~ This PSA is brought to you by Tracey: Don’t walk and text! ~

We all know that texting and driving is stupid, wrong, dangerous, risky and deadly, right? For those of us you who still text and drive, I’d like you to answer this question: Would you get in your car and drive after having four drinks? Well, if you said yes, you’re a moron for drinking and driving! Statistics show that talking on the phone or texting while driving is just as dangerous as driving drunk! Have you seen Will Smith’s movie Seven Pounds? If you did, you wouldn’t text and drive! What about Oprah’s No Phone Zone? Have you signed the pledge? (I just figured out how to embed a link in my blog without having to post the entire url so just click on "pledge" and it will bring you to the No Phone Zone website...oh, you're welcome!)

So we know that we shouldn’t text and drive (right!!!) but what about other things like texting and cooking or texting and working or texting and drinking (trust me...drunk texting is bad!!!) or texting and eating or texting while talking on the phone (not the cellphone you're texting on dummy! Now I can't help but wonder...can you text and talk on the cellphone at the same time?) or simply just texting and talking or texting and blogging (doing it now!) or texting and reading this blog (rude!) or what about texting and walking? Should these double-duties be regarded as multi-tasking equally dangerous as texting and driving?

Well, here’s proof that texting and walking is both dangerous and humiliating:

 

Okay, so I feel badly for that woman because she's been humiliated over and over again (hopefully she wasn't injured!) but this video is hilarious! an important educational tool for the "anti-texting+walking" campaign!  I hope that one day she'll be able to laugh about the incident. 

Have you ever found yourself texting while doing something else which resulted in a tragedy good laugh?

Or what about any embarrassing moments that involve falling?

Well, I might not have any good texting stories (I used to text and drive but it’s especially dangerous with an iPhone so I made myself a promise never to text and drive. Besides, I have to be a good role model for my daughter, right?) but I do have far too many a few stories about falling (and by falling I don't mean the time that I fell asleep in the the bus and I probably started snoring, was probably mumbling and had drool running down my face or the time I fell asleep on the bus and woke up with my head on a stranger's shoulder or the time I almost fell asleep driving...oh dear!): 

My Top 10 Wipeouts:

10. I fall down my outside steps in the winter all of the time especially when I’m running late! So I end up bolting out the side door onto the slippery landing and either a) fly off the landing onto my buttocks at the bottom of the steps without touching any of the steps on the way down which results in a pretty hard landing, or b) slip and fall as soon as I'm out the door so my buttocks doesn’t even it make it down the first step (that has nothing to do with the size of my butt!), or c) slip on the landing then my buttocks hits every step on the way down which results in a less painful landing because the steps “break” my fall.

9. I’ve fallen on slippery sidewalks either landing on my butt or my knee or my hip or my arm or my hands or all of those body parts (sounds like a game of Twister, doesn't it?)! I think falling on the sidewalk is almost as embarrassing as “almost falling”. You know in that brief moment, which seems to last an eternity, when your arms start flailing and your hips are swaying (you look like you should be a dancer in a music video for a duet by Shakira and Elvis!) while you prepare for the fall but you’re able to regain your balance before you fall.  You calmly continue walking, barely missing your stride, with a slight strut in your step because you’re so proud that you didn’t fall!

8. I’ve fallen while rollerblading but I haven't injured myself because I wear wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads and a helmet. Safety first :)

7. I’ve fallen while playing basketball by jumping up for the rebound, getting all tangled up with the other players then before landing hard on my butt, a number of my body parts get roughed up from another player’s shoulder or knee or elbow during my free fall (please note that I’m only 5’ 9” so it’s not like I’m falling from 8 feet in the air!).

6. I’ve fallen while playing soccer because I'm a klutz! I’ve had the misfortune of running and tripping without with the soccer ball.  One of my very few faults is that I'm unable to place blame on others for my snafus.  Haven't you seen soccer players or hockey players fall then turn around and look at another player as if it's his or her fault?  Well, that's not me...I'm way too honest for that (ahem!). 

5. I’ve fallen while playing tennis and it's usually an failed attempt to hit a ball that’s out of reach by propelling myself into the air to reach the ball without thinking about how I’m going to land after I miss hit the ball so I end up humiliated sprawled out on the tennis court.

4. I've fallen down (and up!) indoor stairs and no, I wasn't drunk!  There are so many different ways to fall down (or up!) the stairs.  You can fall from the top straight down to the bottom or you can roll down the stairs or you can slide down the stairs.  I remember as a kid, swimming in my neighbour's pool then running into their house to get something in the basement only I didn’t think about the fact that running into a house with wet feet would not have a very good outcome especially since the stairs to the basement were glossy cement stairs! I ended up sliding down that flight of stairs....hitting each step along the way! Since I was running, I obviously wanted to get to the basement quickly and evidently, I found the fastest route!

3. I’ve fallen while riding my bike...turning a corner too sharply with my pedal hitting the pavement and...wipeout! Luckily I was wearing running shoes (no toe scraping for me!), pants (no scraped knees for me!) and a helmet (I know it’s shocking but no head injuries for me!).  (Please note that I was also wearing a t-shirt just in case it wasn't obvious in my description!)

2. I’ve fallen down in pain after stubbing my toe!

1. The best...the most memorable...the most embarrassing fall of all...falling off of the bus! Yes, I --- fell --- off --- of --- the --- bus. Okay, the bus was stopped at the time but still I fell off of the bus. I was wearing high heels and a short skirt (and thankfully underwear!) and I was carrying my purse and workbag. The idiotic bus driver (hey, I'm the victim here!) hadn’t pulled up close enough to the curb so I had to really stretch my leg to get off of the bus so in the process of stretching out my leg towards the sidewalk (in a skirt that was too tight!) while standing on a single high heel that was way too small to carry my weight (this isn't a fat joke, I'm simply referring to the physics of it all!), I lost my balance and fell out (and off!) of the bus. I ended up rolling on the sidewalk.  I can’t remember everything that happened in those three seconds (I've tried to block the traumatizing event!) but my hope is that I managed to keep my legs closed while I was rolling around on the sidewalk! I can still see the horrified looks on my captive audience (hopefully not because I didn’t keep my legs closed!). A few people came to my rescue but before anyone could put their grubby hands all over me I quickly stood up on my own, dusted myself off, picked up my purse and workbag then proceeded to limp walk across the intersection to my car at the park 'n ride. Who am I kidding?  I humbly limped across that very busy intersection because the heel of my shoe was broken and also because I thought I might have a broken ankle, possibly a broken toe, my knee or even my leg, who knows maybe even my elbow or shoulder (I did roll on my shoulder you know!).  During my walk of shame across the intersection (did I mention that it was a very busy intersection?), I wasn’t that concerned about my body because what hurt the most was my pride!

If it was me reading about someone else falling, I would probably be laughing hysterically (you're not laughing at me, are you?).  Have you ever wondered why people laugh when they see someone stub a toe or trip or fall? I know I’m guilty of laughing at someone else’s pain (sorry to those of you who have been traumatized by my laughter when you’ve been injured!).

So yes, usually the best wipeouts are someone else’s but I don’t want to call out any of my friends or family (here’s a shout-out to someone who will remain anonymous: “I’m okay, I’m okay!”). Instead I’ll share what I consider to be the best wipeout (EVER!) in a movie....Philip Seymour Hoffman’s wonderfully funny entrance in Along Came Polly:

I piss (sorry for the vulgarity Dad!) pee myself laughing (and SAOMS – Spit All Over My Screen) every time I watch this clip. Please note that this video is on, what seems to be, an infinite loop of the wipeout so you might want to stop after seeing him fall 20 or so times :)

I must admit that my sick and perverse mind has me visualizing the following:  the fountain woman starts walking away from the fountain, humiliated and soaken wet then because of her wet shoes, she slips and falls just like Philip Seymour Hoffman fell in the above clip.  Isn't that hilarious?  Come on people, now that's funny!  Okay, fine...I'm sorry! 

So falling can be pretty funny (to some people!) but it can also be horribly painful and humiliating but sometimes, if you're lucky, falling can be wonderful!  Do you remember when you were falling...wait for it...in love?  Oh the memories...

So be careful out there because it's a dangerous world for multi-taskers (and the people around them!), and in some cases for athletes people who play sports (me!), or for walking bipeds (me!) or for those who fall in love (definitely me!).