Are you scared yet?

"Once bitten by a snake, he/she is scared all his/her life at the mere sight of a rope.” ~ Chinese Proverb

Well, the kiddies (and adults!) are celebrating Halloween this weekend.  The official trick-or-treat day is on Monday so that means tomorrow night I’ll be hiding in my house with all of the lights out (I don’t want to scare the kids with this face!).  Never one to be pegged as bah-humbug-ish, last week I picked up some treats and prepared 9 bags of treats for 9 lucky people.  On Wednesday, I sent a care package full of treats for Sarah and her boyfriend (that's 2), and I gave bags of treats to Neighbour’s two lovely children (that's 4), the two children who live in the house on the other side of me (that's 6), BFF’s daughter and niece (that's 8), and finally my brother makes 9 (he’s the only adult who gets a bag of treats because he has consistently been a big fan of Halloween…unlike me!).  Shockingly, I didn't have a bite of sugar nor have I felt tempted to have a bite...not even an itsy-bitsy chocolate-covered sunflower seed!  So trust me when I say that I prepared all 9 bags of treats without even thinking about stealing a chocolate or candy.  That makes me sugarless for 5 weeks (thanks mostly to Bell's palsy!) and down 15 lbs!  Three cheers for Tracey...HIP, HIP, HURRAY!!! (I'm embarrassed to admit that I originally posted YIP, YIP, YURRAY...duh!  Sometimes my lack of intelligence scares me!)

Enough with the celebrating because now we need to talk about Halloween (bah-humbug!)!  That's right, people:  me no celebrate Halloween!  For all you scaredy-cats out there, who like me, don't want to celebrate and have no idea why we celebrate Halloween, I thought I’d do a little research.

Wow...there’s a lot of information out there (I wish I could use extensive research as my excuse for being really late in posting this weekend but I can't...sorry!).  What was relevant to me (and probably not to anyone else!) was the information that I found on Wikipedia:

The word Halloween is first attested in the 16th century and represents a Scottish variant of the fuller All-Hallows-Even ("evening"), that is, the night before All Hallows Day.

Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of  souling, when poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls' Day (November 2). It originated in Ireland and Britain although similar practices for the souls of the dead were found as far south as Italy.  Shakespeare mentions the practice in his comedy The Two Gentlemen of Verona (1593), when Speed accuses his master of "puling [whimpering or whining] like a beggar at Hallowmas.

The practice of Guising at Halloween in North America is first recorded in 1911, where a newspaper in Kingston, Ontario reported children going "guising" around the neighbourhood.

With all of the information out there about Halloween, I must say that I just don’t get Halloween!  Not only do I "not get it", it also creeps the crap out of me!   As a kid, I never understood why I had to get dressed up to go trick-or-treating and as an adult, I understand it even less…especially since I’m now sugarless (I think I just wrote a poem…even less and sugarless rhyme!).  I do admit that I enjoyed decorating the house with Sarah, carving pumpkins with Sarah, and making Sarah's costumes for her every year until she was old enough to say "no thanks" to my offers of making her a costume for Halloween. Remember the horse costume that I made for you, Sarah?  I did, however, loathe taking her trick-or-treating.  How could I say no to my child going out for Halloween?  There was always something that made me feel so uncomfortable about taking her door-to-door to receive candy.  Trick-or-treating is just another parental responsibilitiy, I guess! 

So I think it’s pretty clear to everyone now that I’m not a big fan of the “boo” kind of scary that is associated with Halloween because a) scary movies, ghosts, monsters, seeing me dressed up as a stripper for Halloween, scary costumes, haunted houses, etc… really scare me which results in my blood pressure rising, and b) I think there’s enough scariness in the world that we don’t have to dedicate October 31 to scaring people!   So in honour of the scary stuff that goes on in the world every day (not just on October 31!), I thought I’d dedicate this blog post to the non-Halloween stuff that scares the shit out of me! 

Before I start my rant, I must admit to you that I’m afraid of the dark.   There, I said it!  Finished laughing yet?   I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I no longer sleep with the console light on in the kitchen.  I’ve discovered that there’s something really peaceful (more so than terrifying!) about the darkness.  I also believe that you can’t appreciate the light, unless you also appreciate the dark.  So there, one fear revealed and released.   What’s your biggest fear?  How will you overcome it?  If you want to give yourself a gift this Halloween that isn’t filled with artery-blocking, tooth-decaying and blood sugar-spiking ingredients, then I suggest you give yourself the gift of overcoming one fear this week.  I promise that this gift will not make you feel badly about yourself or have you dieting for the next 3 months!

Okay, so the  first thing that’s on my mind about the scariness in this world, has me feeling REALLY guilty!  I’m sugarless yet I found myself preparing bags of poison sugar to gift to people that I care about (I'm sorry for being a sugar-pusher!) so I guess I should start with: SUGAR SCARES ME!  This week on CBC Book Club, a book about sugar was highlighted (just in time for Halloween…coincidence?).  The name of the book is Sugar: A bittersweet history and was written by Elizabeth Abbott.   The history of sugar is quite fascinating because it was originally only available to the wealthy but then a PR campaign resulted in having sugar in EVERYTHING!  Do you know how difficult it is to find food that doesn’t have sugar listed in the ingredients?  Anyways, at this point, the history of sugar isn’t what scares me so much; it’s the number of articles that have been written about the dangers and toxicity of sugar.  FYI - sugar is poison!  Instead of watching a scary movie on Halloween, I dare you to watch this video, Sugar: The Bitter Truth, and read these articles: 

Is Sugar Toxic? 

Sugar – Sweet Poison

Sugar -  Pure, White and Deadly

What’s even scarier is that instead of eating sugar, people are substituting with artificial sweeteners which have proven to be even more dangerous than sugar so if you’re going to consume something sweet, make sure you eat the real thing:  sugar not artificial sweeteners!  Better yet, if you’re craving something sweet, have a piece of fruit.  Now that’s not so scary….unless the fruit is covered in pesticides! 

I don't think I have to tell you how toxic pesticides are to the human body but what’s even scarier is that a government can ban certain chemicals from being used in their country but will continue to import food from other countries where the chemicals are not banned.   All the more reason for consumers to increase their understanding of the origin of the food they consume (and also the chemicals that are found in our hair products, body washes, food storage containers, etc...).  In a previous blog post ("What's in a name or label?") I wrote about learning how to read labels (i.e. is “made in Canada” the same as “product of Canada, and are all of the ingredients actually from Canada?) and I recently read on someone’s Facebook page that you can identify the origin of the food based on the first numbers of the UPC code.  I can’t remember where I saw it and whether or not it’s true but I do remember UPC codes beginning with a “0” means it comes from Canada or USA.  Whether or not 100% of the products found in that item come from Canada or USA, I can’t be sure.   As consumers, we need to be more aware because a lack of awareness is scary!!!

Not only are pesticides detrimental to our health, they’re also creating havoc on our planet.  Schools of fish are washing up dead on shores, flocks of birds are dropping dead from the sky, and watersheds and aquifers are being contaminated with chemicals (the source of our drinking water!).   I recommend that you read Rachel Carson’s “Silent Spring” (she's my hero and this my favourite book ever!) to have a better understanding of the dangers of pesticides.  You could also read one of my favourite blog posts, “A World Without Bees”, as a reminder (is it okay that I have favourite post?).   

One thing that I find to be very scary is how animals are treated before they are slaughtered for our consumption.  Have you seen the movie Food Inc.?   If you’re looking for a scary movie to watch on Halloween, I recommend you rent this documentary.  I promise that it will scare the crap out of you!  It will also make you much more conscious of the food that you eat and it might even enlighten you with compassion for animals who are cruely sacrificed (and tortured!) for our eating pleasure.  As someone who eats a mostly-vegetarian diet, I’m extremely conscious of any animal products that I'm consuming whether it be yogurt, cheese, eggs or chicken.  I want to ensure that the animals have been treated with kindness and respect (and hopefully love!) while they are providing me with nutritional substance.   For example, when I buy eggs or chicken, I buy organic, free-range but buyer beware because a friend posted this photo on Facebook this week that really scared me (again, just in time for Halloween!):

Free-range horror!!!

According to the information provided, this is a photo of organic, free-range chickens.  HORROR!!!  I did not verify the authenticity of this photo but nevertheless, it's an awakening.  I think the only way to know, for sure, what you are buying/eating, is to visit the farm.  Thankfully, I live in a rural area where I can easily visit the farm where chickens and eggs are sold but I know for many of you, that’s just not possible.  As consumers, we have a lot of power (aka money!), so we need to take back that power and demand to know where our food is coming from!!!

You'll be happy to know that my rant is over (for now!) but I wanted to share something with you that scared me this week:  the feedback that I received regarding my message (s) to George Stroumboulopoulos!   My brother Some of you found it frightening that I would send those that message to Strombo so I’ve been seriously considering my actions and have decided to write a how-to guide on approaching celebrities (stay tuned for an upcoming blog post!).  FYI - I dreamed of George last night (just sayin'!).  In the meantime, I thought I’d share a photo that George posted on his Facebook page last night (thankfully, I saw the photo after I dreamed of him!):

Is scary a synonym for sexy?!?

Sadly, the truth is that there are so many other things that scare me in this world (besides the photo of George!) including poverty, war, corruption, greed, John Cusack – bashing, disease, addictions, bullying, negativity and hate but there’s only so much space in my blog.   I must admit that the scariest thing for me is feeling so helpless about the things that terrify me when it comes to the state of the planet and the state of our collective consciousness because it feels like there’s nothing I can do to change these scary things.  That’s why it’s important for me to bring as much love, hope, happiness, kindness and laughter to my blog.   Some would say that I’m crazy in denial but I truly believe that focusing on the positive somehow makes the negative go away.  There’s only so much energy in the world so if we brought more positivity into the world, the negativity would automatically diminish (don’t make me bring out the mathematical equations to prove it!).  

So now that I’ve shared with you the things that scare me, I’d like to frighten you with the following:  this week I turned my kitchen into an experimental baking lab!  Yes, that’s right people…be afraid, be very afraid…I’m now a baker!  Okay, I’m not actually a baker, I’m simply attempting  to make the world a less scary place by sharing a wheat-free and sugar-free pumpkin ginger nut muffin recipe with you!  I searched high and low for pumpkin ginger nut muffin recipes but didn’t find exactly what I was looking for so I decided to experiment with different recipes.  After three attempts (and taste-tasting by my favourite muffin mockers!), I think I found it: 

(Looks scary but it's yummy!) wheat-free, sugar-free, ginger pumpkin nut muffins

Dry ingredients:

1 ½ cups quinoa flour (or whatever flour you want to use)

2 tbsp ground flax seed

½ tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

½ tsp nutmeg

½ tsp cinnamon

½ tsp allspice

1 tsp ground ginger

Wet ingredients:

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 ¼ cup pure apple juice concentrate (a container of frozen concentrate, thawed…make sure it’s pure juice - no sugar added!)

1/3 cup coconut oil (or you can use any fat…melted butter, extra-virgin olive oil)

2 eggs, beaten

1 tsp freshly grated ginger (optional!)

½ cup apple sauce (I chopped up an apple, and cooked it with a little cinnamon and water until it was mush)

Optional:

1 cup chopped nuts (I used walnuts in one batch then pecans in another…I liked them both!)

Candied ginger

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
2. Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl.
3. Combine wet ingredients in a large bowl then combine the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients.  Do not over mix. 
4. Add nuts to the mixture (I don't enjoy nuts in my ice cream but I love 'em in my muffins!). 
5. Pour batter into muffin tins (make sure the muffin tins are non-stick…you can rub the tins with butter or oil to make sure they don’t stick!).
6. Bake for 25 – 35 minutes (I noticed the muffins were always ready when I started to smell the yummy goodness oozing from the oven).
7. Let stand for 10 – 15 minutes. 
8. Add a piece (or pieces!) of candied ginger to the top of each muffin (very optional!)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! BOO!!!

P.S.  To those of you who received one of the nine bags of treats that I prepared, please do not consume the entire contents of these bags in one sitting.  Moderation is the key!!! 

P.P.S.  If you are the parent of one of the people who received one of the nine bags of treats that I prepared, please do not steal the candy from your kids!!!

P.P.S. If you are my brother, and you received one of the nine bags of treats that I prepared, you need to share the candy and chocolate with Mom and Dad!  :P

My cup runneth over with kindness

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” ~ Dalai Lama

In the past three weeks, I've been able to observe, first hand, the kindness of others.  Not that it took getting sick to be the recipient of kindness because kindness has surrounded me all of my life as a giver, receiver and observer (my parents are outstanding models of kindness!) but by getting sick, I was left with no choice but to shut up, relax and receive the kindness of others (has Bell’s palsy provided me with another gift?).

As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, my family, friends and colleagues have gone above and beyond the call of duty to be kind to me during this time of sickness.  So much so, that some people started begging me to receive their help and to accept their kindness (thankfully, some people don't know when to stop!).  My parents and brother called every day to see if I needed anything.  Mom practically begged me to let her bring me to see the doctor.  BFF was incessant with her calls and texts begging me to let her do anything (anything???) something for me, and Neighbour sent me many texts reminding me that if I needed anything at all, to please let her know (which is also begging!).    So many calls, texts and emails from family, friends and colleagues begging wanting to find out what they could do for me (for me!).   You have no idea how thankful I am for these kind people in my life but I can’t help but wonder if unaccepted kindness turns to feelings of helplessness.  

When we are unable to receive, we deny someone else the pleasure of giving. ~ Paulo Coehlo

Who knew that accepting another person's kindness was a form of kindness?  I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at “giving” kindness or “being” kind but I must admit that I’ve never been very good at being on the receiving end of someone's kindness.  Why?  Is it possible that I have feelings of not being worthy of another’s kindness?  That’s just shameful!  But is it possible?  I need to start believing that I’m worthy and that by accepting another person’s kindness, I’m also exhibiting kindness, hence the truth of Paulo Coehlo's quote.  When the calls, texts and emails started coming in, I wasn’t sure how to respond.  Goods and services (ahem!) were being offered to me (to me!) out of kindness (aka love!).  Food was delivered, my lawn was mowed, my garbage and recycling bin were taken to the road for me for weekly pick up, my carpets were vacuumed, the cat litter box was emptied, my dishes were washed, and so much more.  Not only will I be working on boosting my feelings of worthiness, I’m a true believer in paying it forward, so I will have to come up with a “pay it forward” game plan to implement when I’m healthier.  Watch out because you never know when I might show up at your house for kindness-giving (or maybe anonymous giving is the best way?).

With kindness being the manifestation of the generosity of spirit, I've recognized that I'm blessed with people in my life who have spirits that ooze with generosity.  I've also had the opportunity to observe the kindness of strangers!  While in Toronto this week, because I’m now much more sensitive to the kindness of others, I was able to observe:

Kindness of strangers:  opening doors for others or keeping the door open for others, pushing the elevator button for others, buying coffee for the person next to you in line,  and running after someone who dropped their belongings without noticing

Corporate kindness:  a maid knocks on my door to give me free water and chocolates (didn't accept the chocolate since I’m sugarless!), letting me stay in the hotel room until 6pm even though check-out is at 11am

And the #1 act of kindness that I’ve observed this week is…wait for it…smiling!  I’ve always been the person who smiles at every one that I see but now that I can’t really smile (well, half of my face can smile!), I much appreciate seeing another person's smile.  I guess that’s how the universe finds balance….when one person can’t smile (whether for physical or emotional reasons), there is someone out there who can! 

What will you do to make someone smile today?  Can you think of a random act of kindness that you've observed or been involved in (as recipient or giver)?  

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”  ~  Mother Theresa

I’ve been blessed with the best job in the world (or as Oprah said beautifully on this week’s Lifeclass:  with the highest calling on Earth - being a life guide, teacher, nurturer, supporter, caregiver, honourer of a young life!): raising a daughter!  I’ve been lucky enough to raise a daughter that is full of kindness (I guess it runs in the family...ahem!).  Since she was a toddler, I have observed her ability to flex her kindness muscle whenever it is needed.  Whether she’s being kind to her friends, to her classmates, to her family, to strangers or to animals (not so much when it comes to insects though!), she has always been consistently kind.   Her kindness radar seems to always be on and she goes out of her way to be kind to others!  For that, I’m so proud.  My hope is that she has learned the most important lesson which is to be kind to herself! 

Just this week, my daughter’s kind heart shined bright when she went to a movie premiere.  Curious, I’m sure!  Well, may I just say that kindness is having a daughter who tries to set her mother up with a yummy, famous Greek-Canadian…George Stroumboulopoulos (remember I mentioned him in “All Things Ellines”?).  That’s right...my daughter’s kindness involves matchmaking!  I’m not sure exactly what the conversation entailed or if the story she told me is even true (I choose to believe it!) but it goes something like this:

Conversation between Sarah and George

Sarah:  Hi George, it’s so nice to meet you!

George:  Nice to meet you too!

Sarah:  My mother is obsessed with you loves you and wants me to give you her phone number. 

George:  Too bad she’s not here.  Tell her to send me a message through Facebook with her phone number.

Conversation between Me and Sarah

Sarah:  I just met your future husband George Stroumboulopoulos. 

Me:  I can't believe you got to meet him.  I'm so jealous!  :P

Me:  Is he taller than me?

Sarah:  Yes and he has really soft hands. 

Me:  Did you tell him that I love him?  Did you give him my number? 

Sarah:  He said that you should stop stalking him could send him a message through Facebook. 

Me:  Really???

Conversation between Me and George

Okay, so it’s not exactly a conversation since a conversation usually involves more than one person (unless I'm talking to myself!) but I searched for his Facebook page (since he begged asked me to!) and finally found it (who knew there were so many George Stroumboulopoulos’ on Facebook?) so I sent him the following message (yes, I’m pathetic!): 

Hi George,
I have no idea if this is really CBC's Strombo but in case it is, I thought I'd take a chance and send you message. First of all, I'm sure you don't want to be referred to as CBC's Strombo but it's all about quickly and easily identifying you. I'm writing because my daughter met you at the movie premiere you hosted on Tuesday night. She shook your hand and I believe (if she wasn't totally mocking me) she told you that I'm a big fan (she probably told you that I love you!) and you responded something about being able to send you a message through FB which I discovered isn't the easiest thing to do since you're not the only George Strombolopolous on FB (shocking!). Anyways, this is my message to tell you that I'm a big fan of yours and your show! My daughter said that you had really soft hands so maybe one day I'll be able to find out for myself (that probably sounded really creepy!) :)
All the best,
Tracey

After sending that message, I felt like I was 30 13 again and sending a fan letter to ‘N Sync :)

This morning, as I was checking to see if Strombo replied to my message, I noticed that on the right hand side of the screen, there was a photo of George with a button to click “Subscribe” so I clicked on the photo which brought me to his actual Facebook page.  Duh!  My apologies go out to the “fake George” who received my pathetic message yesterday.  Never one to give up, I decided to re-send my message to the “real George” (I think this makes me doubly pathetic!).  Here’s my message to Strombo:

Hi George,
I'm realizing now that I sent a message yesterday to the wrong George Stroumboulopoulos!  I'm just noticing now, on the right side of my screen, a photo of you and an opportunity to subscribe so I clicked and I'm guessing that this is the real you (funny how the universe sends you the answers you're looking for...in less than 24 hours!).  If I was truly a fan, I guess I would have noticed that the original message was sent to "Strombolopolous".  How lame that I didn't notice the spelling was wrong!  Anyways, here's the message: 

I have no idea if this is really CBC's Strombo but in case it is, I thought I'd take a chance and send you message. First of all, I'm sure you don't want to be referred to as CBC's Strombo but it's all about quickly and easily identifying you. I'm writing because my daughter met you at the movie premiere you hosted on Tuesday night. She shook your hand and I believe (if she wasn't totally mocking me) she told you that I'm a big fan (she probably told you that I love you!) and you responded something about being able to send you a message through FB which I discovered isn't the easiest thing to do since you're not the only George Strombolopolous on FB (shocking!). Anyways, this is my message to tell you that I'm a big fan of yours and your show! My daughter said that you had really soft hands so maybe one day I'll be able to find out for myself (that probably sounded really creepy!) :)

All the best,
Tracey

So what do you think?  Will he respond?  I know what you’re thinking: I’m crazy  I forgot to send him my phone number!  Well, that will have to happen in my second third message to him.  Now kindness would be having Strombo respond to my message.  Come on, George!  I’m open to receiving now :) 

Speaking of being open to kindness, I was sure, following last week's blog post, that my brother someone would have been kind and offered to clean out my closet for me but I haven't received any offers yet.  I'm just trying to be open to receiving as a way of practicing kindness :P

Not only am I open to receiving but I’m also open to giving so in honour of kindness week, I’m going to share the recipe for Neighbour’s kindness soup (she gave me permission!).  You’re welcome :)

 

Minestrone “Kindness” Soup

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 onions, chopped
2 cups chopped celery
5 carrots, sliced
2 cups chicken broth (or veggie!)
2 cups water
1 can of stewed tomatoes
1/2 cup red wine (optional)
1 cup canned kidney beans, drained
1 (15 ounce) can green beans
3 zucchinis, quartered and sliced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup seashell pasta
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese for topping
1 tablespoon olive oil

Directions:

1.  In a large stock pot, over medium-low heat, heat olive oil and saute garlic for 2 to 3 minutes. Add onion and saute for 4 to 5 minutes. Add celery and carrots, saute for 1 to 2 minutes.
2.  Add chicken (or veggie!) broth, water and stewed tomatoes, bring to boil, stirring frequently. If desired add red wine at this point. Reduce heat to low and add kidney beans, green beans, zucchini, oregano, basil, salt and pepper. Simmer for 30 to 40 minutes, the longer the better.
3.  Fill a medium saucepan with water and bring to a boil. Add seashell pasta and cook until tender. Drain water and set aside.
4.  Once pasta is cooked and soup is heated through place 2 tablespoons cooked pasta into individual serving bowls. Ladle soup on top of pasta and sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Drizzle with olive oil and serve.

5.  While you enjoy your cup of soup, please remember to be kind to yourself and to one another (includes all living beings!). 

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution”  ~ Kahlil Gibran

Out of the closet

I went back to work this week after two weeks off sick with Bell’s palsy.  After sleeping 18 hours a day, for two weeks, I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive a week at work but I knew it was time to get back to the real world even if my face is still a little crooked (especially my mouth!) and my eye still doesn’t close.   

This weekend I’m feeling a tad exhausted but I've been thinking that I need to tackle the space in my house where clutter seems to accumulate.  Whenever stuff starts to accumulate on the kitchen table, or kitchen chair (or chairs!), my nightstand or the coffee table, it somehow ends up in this space.  It’s also where all of my spare change ends up, socks that no longer make up a pair, and gifts that haven’t yet found their place in my house. For those of you thinking I'm talking about needing to organize a junk drawer (hell, no!),  I’m afraid that I’m talking about my bedroom closet!  

I live by a certain rule which states that anytime I buy a new piece of clothing; I need to donate a piece of clothing from my closet.  Based on this philosophy, you’d think my closet would be really well-organized and clutter-free.  Hell, no!  Sadly, it’s where all things without a designated place end up in my house; similar to the Island of  Misfit Toys where all of the unwanted toys end up!

In case you’re interested, here’s the inventory of my bedroom closet:

Dress pants

Jeans

Jogging/yoga pants

Skirts

Shorts

Dresses

Pyjamas (pants, shorts, tops, nighties) and robes

Tops

T-shirts

Sweatshirts

Sweaters

Socks

Panties and bras

Spanx

Tights

Pantyhose

Backpacks

Laptop bags

Empty boxes (waiting to be re-used)

Frames

Slippers

Purses

Old computer tower

Belts

Scarves

Boxes of photos (not yet in albums)

Bins of “important” papers

Bag of loose change

Mirrors

Old laptop

Shoes

Plastic bags (waiting to be re-used)

Bags full of travel souvenirs

I’m thinking of proposing an International Letting Go Day so people can rid themselves of stuff they don’t need which includes physical and emotional clutter.  Can you imagine how healthy and vibrant we would be if our homes, cars, bags, offices and minds were clutter-free (not to mention how light we would feel!)?    

First thing to go (besides all of the emotional clutter I carry around with me every day!) will be the fat clothes and the skinny clothes that are in my closet (and in a storage container in the spare bedroom but that’s a blog post for another day!).  I’ve been holding on to some skinny clothes since Sarah was born.  First of all, do I really believe I will be the same size I was when I was 20?  Sure, I may have lost 13 lbs while I was sick with Bell’s palsy but that doesn’t even come close to getting me into those “skinny” clothes.  Second of all, do I really think those clothes will still be stylish almost two decades later?  As for the fat clothes, how depressing is it to keep fat clothes in your closet?   We won’t even get into the psychological impact that it is having on me! 

The second thing to go will be the bag of single socks.  Why do I accumulate all of these singles?  Do I really think that one day the matching sock will miraculously appear?  Then again, I believe wearing mismatched socks is now in style or is that only for teens?

The third thing to go will be the bins of “important” papers.  Do I really think that one day I will search through all of those bins to find a single piece of paper?  For example, why do I hold on to paper copies of bills when they are now online especially once they are already paid?  Is it really necessary for me to hold on to a receipt for a vacuum that I purchased 3 years ago?  What about Sarah’s report cards from Jr. Kindergarten to Grade 12? Are my “To do” list from 2003 or my travel itinerary from 2005 still relevant?  Why am I keeping a receipt from Amazon.ca for books I purchased last month?  What about my agendas from the last 10 years?  Is it really necessary to keep a copy of an article that I read?  What about all of those recipes that I printed and never tried?  Should they be put into a binder?   What about the drawings that Sarah made when she was 2 years old?  Excuse me???  I’m not getting rid of Sarah's artwork!  I don’t care if they’re just scribbles made with crayons on a piece of paper when she was in grade 10 2 years old...Sarah’s artwork stays!  Got it? 

There’s still a lot of debate (I’m debating with myself!) about what to do with gifts that haven’t found their place in my home yet and the souvenirs that we’ve accumulated over the years from various trips.  As for the photos, I need to commit myself (not that kind of “commit myself”!) to putting the photos in albums.  I don’t know how scrap bookers do it!  I just don’t have the time or the energy to put photos in albums or to get all crafty with the photo albums.  Maybe one day?  When I’m a single 40-something cat lady, perhaps?

What made me chuckle while staring at my closet was how much shit I throw into the closet as if it’s a junk drawer or as if it’s my “under the bed” storage area.  I remember a time when you couldn’t see under my bed because every time I tidied my bedroom or apartment, I would throw everything under my bed.  I’m much better now but really, am I?  Instead of putting things under my bed, I put them in the closet.  I have found myself frantically cleaning my house before company arrives and throwing everything in my closet including the pile of clothes on my “clothes chair” in my bedroom (how pathetic!).  Different space but same issue, right?  From this day forward, I promise that if something doesn’t have a place in my house, it will be donated or trashed (especially all of those “important” papers that I accumulate!).  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so bad that I need to apply to be on “Hoarders” since it’s really only my closet that’s a problem (and the bins in my storage room…ahem!) but I truly believe that any physical clutter must be, on some level, psychologically or emotionally disturbing or limiting, right?  So what’s hiding in your closet? 

Speaking of hiding in your closet…

I must admit that I haven't yet tackled the closet (I’m low energy, people!) because I've been too busy catching up on The Rosie Show episodes that I recorded during the premiere week (yes, I’m addicted to TV again!).  On one of the shows, Rosie mentioned National Coming Out Day.  It was the first time I heard of NCOD so I did a quick search on Wikipedia and found the following:

National Coming Out Day is an internationally-observed civil awareness day celebrating individuals who publicly identify as bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender—coming out regarding one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity being akin to a cultural rite of passage for LGBT people. The holiday is observed annually by members of the gay community on October 11.

It saddens me that we need a day to celebrate the “coming out” of people who are bisexual, gay, lesbian or transgender because my dream is that one day we will live in a society where people do not have to hide who they are, are free to live openly, and where judgments are not cast on people for being who they were born to be.  

I'm starting to think that National Coming Out Day should be a week-long celebration for people to feel free and supported to come out, not only regarding one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity, but also to support people who want to come out with anything that they’ve been hiding or have been uncomfortable sharing with others.  During National Coming Out Day, you could come “out of the closet” with anything that “shames” you or seems unaccepted or frowned upon by society.  Not that I want to take away from the awareness-raising and educational opportunities provided by NCOD but I think the more we see each other’s differences, the more accepting we will be of each other because we’ll soon realize that we’re really not that different at all.  That’s my dream (especially as a mother!) that we are all free to live authentic lives! 

When I saw this photo of a sculpture in Philadelphia, it really touched me.  It represents my dream for all of us – freedom to be whom we were all born to be without any limitations!  Both BFF’s daughter and mother posted the photo on Facebook (not sure about the photo credit but I've included the artist's website on the photo caption...just click on it!) so I thought this was a great opportunity to share the photo with you:




Freedom by Zenos Frudakis

 

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’ve come out of the closet about my clutter closet issue (again, I'm not belittling the important issues that are raised during NCOD!) and now I’d like to reveal one of my fears that will hopefully set me free.  My fear is perfectly reflected in a prayer, written brilliantly by Marianne Williamson.  All week, I’ve been watching Oprah’s Lifeclass and it’s really opened my eyes to how we sabotage ourselves, cast judgment on each other and ourselves without really understanding why.  Each of us should be able to relate to this fear and trust me when I say that each of us needs to come out of the closet about this fear so we can all be liberated!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear

is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness,

that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people

won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest

the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And when we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

~ Marianne Williamson

Now, it's time to celebrate:

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  ~ Steve Jobs